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Seven Layers of Sweat

For the tuff-guys out there... betcha can't make it to the bottom!
 
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This is a salsa like you've never seen or heard of before. This is the King of Kondiments! This is a salsa consisting of 7 different types of salsa, each made with vegetable oils of different weights, causing them to separate into 7 individual layers. Each type of oil is infused with a different concentration of capsaicin, the substance that makes peppers spicy and pepperspray painful. The first layer would resemble a mild taco sauce. The next would be like Pace Medium Salsa. From there down, each successive layer would have 30% more capsaicin than the layer above it. The salsa itself would consist of all the chunky goodness of regular salsa, but the chunks would be weighted so that an even amount float at given layers to ensure homogenous distribution of everything but the capsaicin. This arrangement prevents the spiciness from plateauing after a certain amount has been ingested.

The Seven Layers of Sweat are packaged in individual bowls of a size sufficient for a single person to consume half of a large bag of Tostitos brand Scoops tortilla chips using all the dip with little or nothing left. (I only chose that specific brand because it's the only one I'm familiar with that makes the Scoops: bowl-shaped bite-size tortilla chips)

The idea here is for a contest using the above recipe. It is played between 2 people by setting out 2 bowls, a single large bag of chips, and 2 glasses of milk. No other drinks are allowed. The loser is the first to take a sip of milk. If nobody taps out, the winner is the first to reach the bottom of the bowl. To ensure that there are enough chips in the bag for both contestants to consume their entire bowls, the rules stipulate that they each take one chip at a time, and one dip is measured by filling the chip halfway with salsa. You must consume each layer in its entirety before dipping into the next.

(Appropriate chemical-burn warnings and an age-restriction that prohibits sale to minors should at least minimize chance of successful lawsuits)

21 Quest, Oct 09 2009

I was wrong... this one made the Guinness Book. http://www.hotsauce...test-hot-sauce.html
[21 Quest, Oct 10 2009]

[link]






       " The thing that's different about our salsa, you see, is that it goes up to eleven ".
normzone, Oct 09 2009
  

       This doesn't completely devalue the concept, but - if your layers of salsa separate according to the weights of vegetable oils involved, something is very, very wrong with your salsa recipe.
jutta, Oct 10 2009
  

       Surely a 7-compartment container would be much better. 7 stacked tear-off foil lids, so after finishing one layer you can look nervously round at your friends before puling the next foil lid off with a flourish...
pocmloc, Oct 10 2009
  

       yeah ugh for oil in the salsa. and - for playing with your food
dentworth, Oct 10 2009
  

       Well it's clearly not meant to taste good.
21 Quest, Oct 10 2009
  

       Curry would be tougher, of course ...
Aristotle, Oct 10 2009
  

       Hmm...I wonder if it has ever been proven what the "hottest" substance known to man's taste is? Not the hottest pepper, or the hottest curry, or the hottest chili, but what man senses as the hottest of hot of all? Like the King of All Condiments *for real*.
blissmiss, Oct 10 2009
  

       Bliss, it's called "Smack My Ass and Call me Sally". Comes in a tiny 5 oz bottle that costs 10 bucks (at least, that's what I paid for it 4 years ago) and you have to sign a waiver to buy. Officially recognized as one of the twenty hottest sauces in the world. That shit is downright *unpleasant*.
21 Quest, Oct 10 2009
  
      
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