Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

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Singing Resignations

Go out with style.
  (+14, -2)(+14, -2)
(+14, -2)
  [vote for,

Letters of resignation are often the toughest business letters to write. And they're even worse to read, especially if the resignee is a highly-valued employee. The whole process of resigning needs to be made more cheery for all parties involved.

Enter the singing resignations. Call up the service, and they will clad a singer, of the gender of your choosing, in a costume of your choosing, and send him/her to your boss's office, to put your terms to song.

Apart from the obvious "Take This Job and Shove It" (country-western song), I can't think of any off-the-shelf songs that would be appropriate. Not being much of a lyricist myself, I leave it to my fellow halfbakers to suggest any inspiring lyrics.
quarterbaker, Jun 11 2002

Frankly, Mr Shankly http://www.lyricsca...ths/thequeen_02.htm
"...it pays my way and it corrodes my soul..." [-alx, Jun 11 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Cue barber shop quartet... (quartet-baker?)   

       I'm surprised UB hasn't risen to this challenge - maybe he's not up yet..
yamahito, Jun 11 2002

       This is a lovely idea. In fact, it reminds me of my own resignation-day tradition of arriving at the office in skimpy black bustier, tap pants, and thigh-high stockings, and singing "Mein Herr" (a la Liza Minelli in "Cabaret") to my stunned employer.   

       My favorite lines, and also those that normally get me ejected from the building, are these:   

       Bye-Bye, Mein Lieber Herr;
Farewell, mein Lieber Herr;
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though I used to care,
I need the open air;
You're better off without me,
Mein Herr ...

       Don't dab your eye, mein Herr,
Or wonder why, Mein Herr;
I've always told you I was a rover.
You mustn't knit your brow,
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me,
Mein Herr ...

       I really hope this idea catches on. I'm sick and tired of being the only one in the office with tap pants.
1percent, Jun 11 2002

       Croissant, though I'd be surprised if anyone can top "Frankly, Mr. Shankly" by The Smiths.
-alx, Jun 11 2002

       Croissant for "Mein Herr"
thumbwax, Jun 11 2002

       How 'bout that "so long, farewell" bit from "The Sound of Music"...? I guess that only really works if you're taking your entire team with you.
MrWrong, Jun 11 2002

       Someone get [UnaBubba] warmed up. With any luck I'll need one of these soon.   

       Is it okay if I get a 400 pound dominatrix to sing in my stead? I think I'd be laughing too hard.
phoenix, Jun 11 2002

       I love the idea of a team resignation, MrWrong ... and the possibility of singing "So Long, Farewell" would be a nice exit.   

       (Singer 1)
"So long, Enron, I'm leaving you, alas
But not, before, I kick your big white ass"
(chases Kenny Lay down the hall; Singer 2 steps forward)
1percent, Jun 11 2002

       Funny but I already have a song designed for just such circumstances. It's not exactly sophisticated but it articulates a certain, um, *youthful spirit of contrariness*, I think:   

       Would you work with a team leader
With the brains of a bottom-feeder?
I would rather smoke some weed or
Maybe just call in sick and have another day off,
And stay home and jerk off.

       (I’m sorry but I really -)   

Don’t give a fuck about teams.
Don’t give a fuck how it seems.
Don’t give a flying fuck
About your lousy stinking work.

So leave me alone.
I’m not answering the phone
With my boner in my hand.
I’m not interested in your issues,
Got a bumper box of tissues,
And a monkey to spank.
Let me wank. (Cause work is shit)
Let me wank. (I’ve had enough of it)
Let me wank.

Operational strategies blow.
Delegation is all that you know.
Masturbation is better than this, so
I think I’ll just phone the work and I’ll tell them I’m dead.
And I’ll stay in my bed.

Don’t give a fuck about teams.
Don’t give a fuck how it seems.
Don’t give a flying fuck
About your lousy stinking work.


       So you work in the job above me,
And your life is a misery (so fuck),
And you’re looking for sympathy,
So you tell me your latest trouble every morning at ten.
Well, never again.

(I quit my job because I)

       Don’t give a fuck about you.
Don’t give a fuck what you do.
Don’t give a flying fuck
About your lousy stinking work.

Guy Fox, Jun 12 2002

       Damn. I *can't* work after that....
phoenix, Jun 12 2002

       How wonderful! Thank you, all of you! Especially nice work, Guy Fox.

A little late, though. I handed in the standard, boring letter this morning. Just as I expected, everybody is glum about the whole thing. A song and dance routine would have really helped out (and wasted a bit of time that I have to burn up in this "lame duck" period).
quarterbaker, Jun 12 2002

       Here ya' go:   

       Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it - New Work, New Work
These 9 to 5 days, are going away
I'm now the big BOSS at - New Work, New Work

       I want to sit at the head of the table in a meeting,
And find I'm king of the hill - the one they're all greeting....

       These cubicle blues, are melting away
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it - at my New Work
If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere
It's up to ME - New Work, New Work

       (with apologies to the Chairman of the Bored...<grin>)   

       <<tap dancing and exiting stage left>>
runforrestrun, Jun 12 2002

       medication kicked in now runf? should that not be woik?
po, Jun 12 2002

       (head is clearing up...sneezing is past....throat isn't sore anymore :-)   

       as for the song.....go ahead, hum it and sing it just once....you'll feel better and it will stick in your head for the next 10 hours <evil grin>
runforrestrun, Jun 12 2002

       Almost baked, my brother when it was insisted that he had to write a resignation letter put the words to "I did it my way" in the letter!
PiledHigherandDeeper, May 25 2003

       It's not quite the same, but at work, the women in our division have a tradition where a few of them sing and dance at another females farewell lunch. I've only seen it once, though.
Detly, Aug 06 2003

       They should have welcome song for new higher, may be a company song and position song.
artist, Aug 06 2003

       Let's not encourage them, now.
Detly, Aug 06 2003


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