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Stand Up Sex Cops

You pay them and they take care of business.
  (+4, -17)(+4, -17)(+4, -17)
(+4, -17)
  [vote for,
against]

Stand Up Sex Cops are not real cops, their purpose is to deter teen sexual activity.

Parents hire them to follow their "suspect" promiscuous teens when they go out at night or on a date.

When the moment is right they intervene. Spoiling any potentially sexual or romantic moment with poor jokes, disturbing behavior and liberal distribution of private information supplied by parents.

vfrackis, Jul 22 2009

http://bicyclesafe.com/ http://bicyclesafe.com/
a great resource. [ryokan, Jul 24 2009]

[link]






       A chapparone service, interesting idea.
RayfordSteele, Jul 22 2009
  

       so we (teenagers) recognise them because they are "standing up" - like meercats? simples!   

       meet me round behind the bike shed...
po, Jul 22 2009
  

       //my mom did that to me when I was in highschool//   

       We finally know the source of 21 Quest's bitterness. We should all pitch in to get him a hooker.
MikeD, Jul 22 2009
  

       Could use a condom. Nothing wrong with teen sexual activity, if they use condoms. Don't get the clap, don't get aids, don't get pregnant etc... Yeah condoms.
zeno, Jul 23 2009
  

       //I ain't dealing with the clap again//
More over-share.
coprocephalous, Jul 23 2009
  

       What about lying-down sex?
Noexit, Jul 23 2009
  

       Some kinky kids might just like the background banter while they neck and spoon and knife. I'm presuming no physical coercion would be used by the ex-comedians.
daseva, Jul 23 2009
  

       On my way to the bike shed as fast as I can.
normzone, Jul 23 2009
  

       Think smart, [21]. Not only is that kind of slang fourty years out of date, you need to save your (un)civil disobedience for serious matters.
normzone, Jul 24 2009
  

       o.k. pedestrians - watch out for 21 on his bike.   

       he may not kill you but he might very well break a few bones or knock out a few teeth.
po, Jul 24 2009
  

       Hi [vfrackis] - have you noticed the correlation between fishbones and fun-spoiling yet? If you had just come up with some sort of chaperone avoidance decoy things could have been so different.   

       [-]   

       Again.
wagster, Jul 24 2009
  

       //about the riding on the sidewalk. Who is that endangering?//
Even if we accept the implicit assumption of this anno that endangering requires a real risk of death, rather than having it encompass physical damage of a less binary nature, the wilful ignorance of an attitude that takes no account of the elderly, the frail and the unborn when it comes to assessing the balance of personal convenience is most alarming.
calum, Jul 24 2009
  

       Actual chaperones are one thing, but surely the most likely outcome of this idea is that your children, having been provoked by the accumulation of poor jokes and proxy parental rudeness, will have riskier and stupider sex, just to make a point, than they would otherwise have had.
pertinax, Jul 24 2009
  

       //How many pedestrians are killed by cyclists each year? Have you ever even heard of one?//

Apparently 1 or 2 a year in the UK (figures obtained via secondary sources, admittedly). Haven't been able to find any official stats as yet though.

re: the actual idea. I agree with pertinax.
DrBob, Jul 24 2009
  

       //riskier and stupider sex// - yay!
wagster, Jul 24 2009
  

       //I don't just barrel through crowds of pedestrians.//   

       May I suggest affixing a plough to the front of your bike to facilitate crowd-navigation with the greatest of ease?
theleopard, Jul 24 2009
  

       [21], I'm all with you on the riding on the sidewalk issue, I do it myself. It's your comment " Lucky for the cop " that carries all the baggage.
normzone, Jul 24 2009
  

       In London, far more cyclists are killed by cars than pedestrians are killed by cyclists. Yet children are legally obliged to ride bikes in the traffic instead of on the pavement. I never understood that.
wagster, Jul 24 2009
  

       not if the bike has stabilisers...
po, Jul 24 2009
  

       //far more cyclists are killed by cars than pedestrians are killed by cyclists//
It's Darwin's way of telling you not to wear lycra.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 24 2009
  

       Well, in MY town... Haha.. just kidding. I don't live near people. I'm what some people call a "recluse" or a "sociopath", and occasionally "psycho killer", but only by fans of the Talking Heads. Anyways, if I hear one more story about your life...
daseva, Jul 24 2009
  

       Riding on the sidewalk may FEEL safer, but it is not. A good explanation is at "Collision Type #3 : Crosswalk Slam" at bicyclesafe.com (linked). The author also links to several quantitative studies to support his claims.   

       I bike regularly (in Texas, not some Scandinavian bike-friendly paradise) and agree completely. Unless you're dismounting & crossing like a pedestrian (no jaywalking), biking on the sidewalk sets you up for some nasty accidents at intersections & driveways.
ryokan, Jul 24 2009
  

       I checked the link. What they're advocating as the safer alternative is riding in the lane as though you were a car - perfectly legal, and technically adviseable, but boy, you ought to see people's reactions. Having to treat you like you were an equal REALLY pisses them off.   

       Should we get back on topic or just continue on about bicycling?
normzone, Jul 24 2009
  

       I've ridden two abreast down the main drag in the lane - legal, visible, safe, and fun, but some drivers hate having to share their road with what they consider an inferior.
normzone, Jul 24 2009
  

       The sex cops are people? I was thinking cardboard cutouts or scarecrow-type things, set up around parking areas.
caspian, Oct 31 2009
  

       The closest I've ever come to being hit was back when I thought it was safer to ride on the sidewalk. Cars at intersections, at driveways other crossings are expecting to see other traffic moving, and bikes do qualify, they are not expecting people to be going 10+ mph on the sidewalk and don't allow for it.   

       The requirement here is also to ride as far to the right as practical (may say safe instead of practical, can never remember). Since the only thing defining that is the cyclist, it allows options. No, the cyclist should not generally ride out in the middle of a one lane road for miles at a time. Doing it for a few minutes until there is a safe place for you to get closer to the edge and let the traffic pass is another story. If it is a multi-lane road, there is nothing preventing the car(s) from passing you exactly like they would any other slow moving vehicle, so you're under no obligation to ride dangerously close to the edge so they can squeeze by. Use common sense, ride predictably, and make yourself as visible as possible.
MechE, Nov 01 2009
  
      
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