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Slide-rule trombone for astronauts

The music of the spheres, or any other shape that can be calculated by logs
  [vote for,

Still can't quite believe no one has come up with a slide-rule trombone idea...but let's get on with it...

Strapped into the cockpit of future spacecraft, and a miniature one in spacesuit helmets, a slide-rule trombone.

A) Provide cheap entertainment for aforementioned astronauts during dull moments.

B) In the event of catastrophic breakdown of onboard pc's and radio ((or the appearance of Sandra Bullock at the airlock) whichever is the worst), the astronauts have some method of calculating re-entry paths.

I rest my case.

not_morrison_rm, Jul 14 2014


       Slide rules also come in circular shapes. The perimeter of a circular slide rule can be significantly greater than a straight slide rule's length (allowing more-accurate calculations). If you want the circular rule to be musical, perhaps a cymbal?
Vernon, Jul 14 2014

       Erm, far be it from me and all that, but cymbals might be a tad tedious after the first three minutes.   

       Let me put it this way, would you rather be stuck on space station with a Cosmonaut who`s been at the coolant fluid who has a) cymbals or b) a trombone...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 14 2014

       a) a cymbal   

       If he's been at coolant fluid I don't want him getting any funny ideas about where to stick it.   

       The thing is that without a lot of reshaping (the tools for which are (presumably?) unavailable on most spacecraft) a cymbal's entirely the wrong shape to engender any strange ideas on where it might fit.   

       So personally I'd feel safer with a cymbal.
Skewed, Jul 14 2014

       <slips on fake beard and Austrian accent> "..und you are sure zis fear of trombones is not cymbalic of some earlier trauma?"</SF>
not_morrison_rm, Jul 14 2014

       The slide-rule trombone also connects via a valve to a tube that goes outside, to suck hazardous floating globs of liquid out of the air.   

       Would make a kind of "glub, glub, glub" + possibly C sharp note as it does that.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 14 2014

       I hope no one lets you near a trombone
Kumawktopus, Jul 15 2014

       Doesn't matter in space.
RayfordSteele, Jul 15 2014

       //zis fear of trombones is not cymbalic of some earlier trauma?"//   

       Possibly a duck & a cellist were also involved, but it's all a bit vague so I may have just dreamed it.
Skewed, Jul 17 2014

       So a cellist and a duck with a trombone walked into a pub, and barman said....   

       //Doesn't matter in space.   

       If one was to bleed air from space-suit air-tank (very bad idea) into the trombone, with a microphone and a transmitter, it might be possible to blight the lives of many on the surface below with very poor brass renditions of D. Bowie's "Life on Mars".   

       Possibly this is why superpowers have tested ground to space missiles...the truth is out there..
not_morrison_rm, Jul 17 2014


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