Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Smart, nasty alarm clock

Another alarm clock idea....
  [vote for,

This alarm clock would be run by a computer. It would incorporate pressure sensors in your bed which could tell if you were actually up or not. It would also have a number of small robot 'soldiers' in various locations around your house each with a propensity for vandalism. At night the alarm could be programmed to allow a maximum snooze period after the initial alarm has gone off. At the end of this period, the alarm will sound again, but this time, if you don't get up (and remember it can tell if you're up or not) it will send instructions to its robot soldiers to begin systematically vandalising your house. The longer you stay in bed, the more havoc is wreaked, and if you return to bed within a certain pre-specified period, it will start again. The robot soldiers could be designed for specific acts of vandalism, e.g. pouring the contents of your drinks cabinet down the toilet, emptying your fridge into the bin, spray painting your car, setting fire to your curtains etc. but it would increase the severity of the vandalism proportionally with respect to time, so if you only stay in bed an extra five minutes, you may only have to deal with some bent cutlery. Needless to say, you would have to have a real problem with rising in the morning to actually need one of these babies.
stupop, May 10 2002

How to bake this in one easy step http://images.ucomi...002/tmsyl020520.gif
Just get a cat [mwburden, May 20 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

"Japanese App Tweets Embarrassing Things If You Oversleep" http://www.macrumor...s-if-you-oversleep/
"...it sends embarrassing messages to the user's Twitter account every time they hit snooze..." [hippo, Sep 26 2011]


       Croissant for the image of evil robots bending my crappy cutlery as I doze.
salachair, May 10 2002

       two things:
(1) what if you share your bed?
(2)what if you die in your sleep? the robot vandals would end up going so far, your house will look like a crime scene.
sappho, May 10 2002

       I have a real problem with rising in the morning, and I actually need one of these babies. Sappho, maybe one of the sensors could be a temperature gauge, so if your body cools too much the robots stop tearing things up and call the meat wagon.
Blackanese, May 10 2002

       Just cut to the chase and have the alarm clock call 911 if you hit snooze. The fire/police folks will have you out of bed.
bristolz, May 10 2002

       Whilst I croissant this lovely and hilarious idea, I have to ask, is getting up in the morning ever so important that you'd risk losing food, drink or television sets by actually setting this alarm?
pottedstu, May 10 2002

       Hmmmm, perhaps there could be pressure and temperature sensors in the bed. The pressure sensors could be calibrated to sense if there is one or two people in bed, and the alarm clock could have a person 1, person 2 setting. The robots could be set up to only destroy the possessions of the person the alarm is aimed at. The temperature sensors would cover the death thing.
stupop, May 13 2002

       Or an older one
thumbwax, May 13 2002

       The armed forces are currently experimenting with this, under the name Enhanced Reveille. So far it's been successful, with a few minor glitches, such as the destruction of four barracks, two officers' clubs, a couple of Humvees, and Afghanistan.
wgmcg, May 13 2002

       ... Cat staked out on loungeroom floor, being plucked alive ...   

       Hey, that's one I would stay in bed for - if it could be the neighbour's cat(s).   

brainSalad, May 13 2002

       What about a morning-call company?   

       If you hit the snooze button too many times or turn off the alarm and stay in bed, a signal goes via a phone line to a control room (similar system to fire alarms). A fast-response unit is then dispatched to your address. They have keys and enter your house. You are then threatened with extreme violence by the stranger who has just walked into your bedroom. The beatings will only stop when you stumble into the shower. Regional variance could include knee-capping in Northern Ireland, Chelsea-smiles for Londoners and kilt-lifting for Scots.
Mayfly, May 14 2002

       Bacon for Semites, Steak and Eggs for vegans...
thumbwax, May 14 2002

       isn't this the same thing as living with one or more childern under the age of 5?
futurebird, May 14 2002

       Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Smart, Nice Alarm Clock. It tiptoes up to you first thing in the morning, and enquires if you would like to get up. It then tries to bribe you with coffee, muffins, donuts, and fruit juices. If that fails, it will cancel any meetings, or get on the phone and call in sick for you. Some time around 2 in the afternoon, it will return to enquire about your health, and if you choose to rise at that time, it will bring you your slippers.
pottedstu, May 14 2002

       Blimey potedstu, you've just described *exactly* the role I adopted with regard to a girl I used to know. I eventually realised that this didn't work - I mean, why get out of bed if you continue to be pampered? - so I became the Relentless Slow Handclap Right By The Face Alarm Clock and achieved far greater success.
calum, May 20 2002

       pottedstu, if you' re still here, PLEASE half bake that idea so I can bun it
Voice, Jul 20 2010

       "Honey, did you turn off the alarm clock before we came on vacation?"
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 20 2010


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