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Smoking deterrent device

Device makes annoying sound when smoke is detected
  (+7, -4)
(+7, -4)
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Not sure about your part of the world, but here (Central Europe) smokers are very rude and totally ignore law or wishes of a restaurant owner or cafee.

To keep the smokers away or at least behaving, I suggest usage of a small device (on each desk), that would make loud annoying sounds when it detects cigarette smoke. These would be fixed to the tables and could not be easily turned off or removed.

slovakmartin, Sep 19 2010

Perhaps this one can give you a little squeeze? http://www.medicald...c-cancer-deaths.htm
[theircompetitor, May 07 2013]

[link]






       Just take up smoking. It's actually very good, and I recommend it wholeheartedly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2010
  

       "it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness, MUHWHAHAHAHAHA !!! ......."   

       Ahem.   

       // small device .... loud annoying sounds //   

       Excellent. Such devices are available relatively inexpensively off the shelf from Colt, Smith & Wesson, Ruger, Glock, Beretta and FN. Simply point the device at the offending smoker and pull the operating lever with your forefinger. Problem solved.
8th of 7, Sep 19 2010
  

       Those companies make fire extinguishers? Well, bless them, I say.
infidel, Sep 19 2010
  

       You'll have to excuse 8th. He's from Swindon.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2010
  

       [8th] You will be hearing from the fire extinguisher control people about this, I'm sure. Might be worth it, though....
Boomershine, Sep 19 2010
  

       Not a smoker myself, but I wouldn't mind a loud noise emitting device that drowned out anti- smoker's whining about second hand smoke.
doctorremulac3, Sep 19 2010
  

       You mean you want it to drown out this very idea? That's what it's for, isn't it? I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR, ISN'T IT ?!?
Boomershine, Sep 20 2010
  

       I can't hear you. I'm listening to my Barry Manilow box set with the volume cranked to 11 and chain smoking filterless Chesterfields.   

       I know I don't smoke, but I've decided to start. I'm complex.
doctorremulac3, Sep 20 2010
  

       ///I'm listening to my Barry Manilow box set with the volume cranked to 11...//   

       You're going to ruin your health with that stuff, Buddy.   

       I'm thinking about a Barry Manilow detector device that does...something. I'm not sure what yet...Oh, got it: when it detects BM (snick, snick), it reproduces the sound, 180 degrees out of phase, canceling it for anyone else in the room. Wish we could do that with Chesterfields....I MEAN, I WISH WE COULD DO THAT WITH CHESTERFIELDS!!!
Boomershine, Sep 20 2010
  

       Just remove Central Europe. It's been a blot on humanity since before the Avars and Huns invaded the area.
infidel, Sep 20 2010
  

       Have you Googled 'Smoke detector'.   

       I hear these are small, inexpensive battery operated devices which make an annoying sound when smoke is detected.   

       MFD - utterly baked to a gently smoking crisp.
Twizz, Sep 20 2010
  

       //smokers are very rude //

Bollocks are we!
DrBob, Sep 20 2010
  

       //'Smoke detector'//   

       I knew this was baked, of course, but it gave [slovakmartin] such a nice opportunity TO WHINE ABOUT SECOND HAND SMOKE [doc], I hated to interrupt him.   

       My state passed an anti-smoking ban inside all public places last year. Best thing since paved roads. I never thought we'd see the day (this is Marlboro country). Before that, I was ready to endorse [8th]s version of 'fire extinguisher.'   

       So, yeah, it's baked, but I'm glad [smartin] had his day.   

       I'd rather listen to smokers whine about anti- smokers ranting than smell anyone's smoke over my dinner. I can cover my ears, but I can't hold my breath forever.
Boomershine, Sep 20 2010
  

       Speaking of second-hand smoke...it is the only kind of smoke anyone whines about. First-hand smoke is the smoker's choice. Second hand smoke....oh, forget it...I mean, OH, FORGET IT!
Boomershine, Sep 20 2010
  

       There'll be a big cloud of secondhand smoke downwind from Tehran one day. People will probably whine about that, too.
infidel, Sep 20 2010
  

       Not me.
doctorremulac3, Sep 20 2010
  

       I would be surprised if you were willing to sit in the cloud and breathe it, Doc.
infidel, Sep 20 2010
  

       // People will probably whine about that, too //   

       The Nips haven't shut up about Hiroshima or Nagasaki either; that doesn't mean it wasn't exactly the right thing to do....
8th of 7, Sep 20 2010
  

       I believe they're making up your room in hell as we speak, sir.
infidel, Sep 20 2010
  

       We have a suite reserved ...
8th of 7, Sep 20 2010
  

       //I would be surprised if you were willing to sit in the cloud and breathe it, Doc.//   

       I'd just do what I always do, move to another table. In this case, one several thousand miles away, preferably upwind.   

       How much extra for the luxury suites?
doctorremulac3, Sep 20 2010
  

       You wanna go halves ? We get Corporate discount ...
8th of 7, Sep 20 2010
  

       Sure. Can I bring my Barry Manilow box set? Oh, that's right, it's playing over the public address system 24/7 anyway.
doctorremulac3, Sep 20 2010
  

       Only in the Musicians section ...
8th of 7, Sep 21 2010
  

       "I Write The Songs", repeated ad nauseam.
infidel, Sep 21 2010
  

       //Only in the Musicians section ...//   

       Cool, I'll finally get to meet Michael Jackson!
doctorremulac3, Sep 21 2010
  

       Sorry, I think he melted in the heat at the entrance.
infidel, Sep 21 2010
  

       I wonder if he set off the smoke detectors?
Boomershine, Sep 21 2010
  

       This just brought back a fun memory - sticking wooden splinters inside cigarettes in an unattended pack. Other items such as flammable solids or intoxicants can also be used.
normzone, Sep 21 2010
  

       Little pieces of a rubber band. Cracks them smokers right up.
Boomershine, Sep 21 2010
  

       Mixing a few fibres of tarred rope into loose tobacco produces some unusual reactions from the smoker. If you do it whilst aboard a boat it is best to ensure you are a strong swimmer prior to making your move.
infidel, Sep 21 2010
  

       Funny, that. I often put bits of rubber, or sometimes pieces of feather, into my cigarettes. Pisses off the non-smokers no end. Me, I only breathe the stuff through a filter.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 21 2010
  

       The cigarette filter is a marvel of modern technology. It lets you inhale the smoke of burning tobacco, rubber, feathers, tarred rope, and who-knows-what with complete impunity while annoying (and poisoning) those around you. And, cheaply!
Boomershine, Sep 21 2010
  

       Win win.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 21 2010
  

       I wonder whether smokers would smoke more or less than non-smokers if you were to burn them at the stake?
infidel, Sep 21 2010
  

       Smoking joke:   

       Guy: "Do you smoke after sex?"   

       Gal: "I dunno, I never looked."
doctorremulac3, Sep 21 2010
  

       Or:   

       Guy: "Do you smoke after sex?"   

       Gal: "I dunno, have a look."
Boomershine, Sep 22 2010
  

       That's because she's too wet to burn, guys.
infidel, Sep 24 2010
  
      
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