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Specific Fortune Cookies

Vagueness has gone too far. It must be combatted.
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Fortune cookies are almost always frustratingly vague, sometimes even to the point of ludicrousness ("something good is just around the corner"). Even curiouser, I've recently recieved a few fortunes that AREN'T ACTUALLY FORTUNES. "You have a way with words" isn't exactly a shining prediction of the future.

The next time I eat Chinese food I want to get a fortune cookie that says "You will die next thursday", or maybe "Someone will step on your foot in 5 minutes and 37 seconds."

Emoticons might be added for effect - "You will die next Thursday :( ". Or, alternately, to lighten weighty news -- "You will die next Thursday :)".

Tlogmer, Mar 16 2002

Unusual Fortune Cookie Collection http://home.nc.rr.c.../fortunes_index.htm
Photos of odd fortune cookie fortunes. Small collection but nicely done. [bristolz, Mar 16 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Not _exactly_ what you are looking for. http://www.homestar...er.com/fortune.html
Flash fortune cookies. Try them multiple times for seconds of fun. [swamilad, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Something I've wanted to see in a fortune cookie is either "Berware the Ides of March!" or "You Have Just Enjoyed an Inferior Meal."
Mr_Thundercleese, Mar 16 2002
  

       You have gone batty _^0^_.
neelandan, Mar 16 2002
  

       the chef pissed in your hot and sour soup-have a nice day.
IvanIdea, Mar 16 2002
  

       Sorry, I've retired from correcting typos, there are just too many and I really do have bigger fish to fly. Also, I may just need to "Berware the Ides of March".
El Pedanto, Mar 16 2002
  

       My favorite is: "That wasn't chicken".
phoenix, Mar 16 2002
  

       "Find a bucket & quick"
po, Mar 16 2002
  

       How about a web site with a CGI form to let you submit a fortune, to be printed as part of the next batch of fortune cookies?
Jeremi, Mar 17 2002
  

       I recently went to a Chinese restaurant and got a fortune cookie that said, "Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!"
Pseudonym #3, Mar 17 2002
  

       My all time favorite fortune: "You may be hungry soon: order take-out now."
vladimir_gustav, Mar 18 2002
  

       I used to eat at a chinese buffet for lunch every day until my cookie fortune read: "Try something new".
MORGWOOD, Mar 18 2002
  

       I think Penn & Teller had an idea for one that said That lump is cancer.
vanbilder, Aug 10 2003
  

       What about "Siht daer ot rorrim a deen lliw uoy"?
Canuck, Aug 10 2003
  

       A pastry is in your future. (+)   

       It works!
Cedar Park, Aug 10 2003
  

       I've always thought it would be cute to put a marriage proposal in your date's fortune cookie.
Tabbyclaw, Aug 11 2003
  

       Tried it once. She married the chef.
Cedar Park, Aug 12 2003
  

       I wanted to do this at a party once. I considered pulling all the fortunes out and substituting my own, but the cookies were sealed too well. Then I considered baking them myself, but the expense of the heat resistant paper and ink was too great. So, yes, I would like to see these either mass produced or in the form of a DIY kit.
Detly, Aug 13 2003
  

       In some hole-in-the-wall chinese joint in Michigan I got a fortune that stated "You love chinese food". Seriously... I still have it, just to show people when they don't believe me.
JRandMoby, Aug 19 2003
  

       "Dial 1-800-MISS-CLEO for real fortune."   

       Wierd, huh?
DesertFox, May 07 2004
  

       Your luck number:
6 19 21 25 35 50
  

       Pretty specific, huh?
phundug, May 09 2004
  

       To make just about any fortune cookie fun, have a fellow diner ask you a question. I asked my friend what lay ahead in his love life and his fortune was "Constant grinding will reduce an iron rod to a steel needle."
Eugene, May 09 2004
  

       I've had this idea myself! I love it! Sometimes normal fortune cookies are funny though, when the translations are poor. I got one that said, "listen more to mother's exhortations."
EdisonsTwin, Jul 17 2006
  
      
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