Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Normal isn't your first language, is it?

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Star Trek Original Series vs Star Trek Next Generation

"Captain Picard, this is James T Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded or you will be destroyed!"
(+3, -3)
  [vote for,

The battle over original series vs next generation has raged among nerds in the IT department for years, maybe it's time to bring it to the big screen.

The Enterprise time travels on a regular basis via wormholes or other literary premise so I'm surprised they haven't run into each other by accident already.

As far as why they're fighting.... uhhh... space spores? Energy cloud? Thing out there heading for Earth? Come on, this stuff isn't too hard to write for. Maybe they both gang up to destroy that awful "Enterprise" series.

I'll do the screenplay. Hey Paramount, get somebody with some creativity on your team here. I offer my services.

I'd think even non Trek fans would be a bit curious to see who won this battle. And as far as the difference in technological advances, Kirk's been outsmarting superior civilizations throughout his entire career. (Not to tip my hand on where I stand on this controversy.) Plus Picard's French.

doctorremulac3, May 18 2012

IMDB: Star Trek: Generations http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111280/
You mean a bit like this? There's not the out-and-out conflict that you mention, but they do cock a snook at how things are done differently by the two captains. [zen_tom, May 18 2012]

Vina http://en.memory-al...g/wiki/Susan_Oliver
"Scotty, beam me down a tissue." [doctorremulac3, May 19 2012]


       So long as Kirk is the first, and most terminal, casuality, it gets my vote..   

       Incidentally, never did work out if Fleet personnel got duty-frees?
not_morrison_rm, May 18 2012

       Picard beams Kirk and Riker down to the nearest planet and lets them fight it out while he sends a security team to take over the original Enterprise, all without leaving his chair.   

       Delegation wins over a punch in the face.
MechE, May 18 2012

       Yes, but what about the duty-frees? Did they get that crappy perfume trolley, or was it more boxes of cigars?
not_morrison_rm, May 18 2012

       Both men would need to be on the lookout for Christopher Pike. If he gets into the fray they're both in trouble.   

       I'd suggest that TOS boards the TNG ship while Picard and company are mincing around the holodeck playing Dungeons and Dragons.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2012

       This doesn't make much sense, since Picard has at least a couple decades of technological advantage over Kirk. The nearest approximation I can think of is the Spanish-American war of about 1898; the USA had mostly all-new ships and the Spanish ships were mostly older, even though they were iron-and-steel instead of being so old as to be made of wood. The Spanish didn't fare so well in that conflict.
Vernon, May 18 2012

       //You mean a bit like this?//   

       No, in fact, I've got the tag line for the movie.   

       "Two captains, two different eras. A collision of the very space fabric of time... and two men. (lots of shots of stuff blowing up) Only one.... (more stuff blowing up) will survive. (Shot) Kirk- "FIRE!" (Shot) Picard- "Sacrebleu! Ve must file ze immediate complaint with Star Fleet! Get me my 16th century Flemish merchant costume and meet me on the holodeck!"   

       Just kidding, Picard would fight back enough to make it interesting.   

       //This doesn't make much sense// That's never stopped Star Trek before.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2012

       We forsee a long-running Spock - Data - Main compuer love triangle.   

       Besides, both ships would be immobilised and disarmed while Geordie and Scotty got plastered in Ten Forward while talking technobabble and drawing designs on the table in spilt beer …
8th of 7, May 18 2012

       I absolutely concure that there would be love between the technos of the various generations. Find any modern day electronics nut that wouldn't love to sit down with Nicola Tesla or John Ambrose Fleming. It doesn't matter how far up the mountain the latest generation is, respect would go to the guys who climbed the most in their time. How they solved problems, worked with the resources they had at hand etc. That sort of stuff is timeless.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2012

       TNG is TOS with ABS, traction control, cupholders, Klingon race relations, walnut burl, equal rights amendments, backup warning beepers, child labor laws, safety helmets, and Apple touch-screen interfaces.   

       TOS is TNG with styrofoam boulders, overacting, camera shakes, overacting, wimpy red-shirted security guys, overacting, nonsensical aliens, overacting, and rubber masks.   

       Give me an AMG CLK Black over any of it.
RayfordSteele, May 18 2012

       Picard - "Mr. O'Brien, please beam Captain Kirk and Cheif Engineer Scott directly to 10-Forward. Gainan - Would you get these guys something green and talk to them for a bit?"
lurch, May 18 2012

       I think we are all neglecting the possibility of Kirk feigning negotiation, beaming over to the TNG Enterprise, and punching Picard in the face before attempting to pummel Worf and/or shag Troi (possibly at the same time).

Also: which exact Enterprises are we talking about here? I'm imagining NCC-1701 vs. NCC-1701-D, but we ought clarify this before further discussion.
Phaideaux, May 18 2012

       Woudl that be one of those green Orion slave girls, then…?
8th of 7, May 18 2012

       NCC-1701 vs. NCC-1701-D.   

       The plot would explore how societies with lesser technology can compensate to fight superior technology.   

       In other words: How does the old starship have a chance of standing up to the new one? It does, you'll just have to watch the movie. I would have a central character of the plot be the new Star Fleet command that's been so taken over by morons and bureaucrats that they hamstring Picard and company with their new rules and regulations.   

       Picard: "Request permission to fire!"   

       Star Fleet: "Have not yet received required environmental impact report. Hold your fire, repeat, hold your fire!"   

       Spoc: "Captain, they are referring to the Romulan stink bug that inhabits this part of the star system. Suggest we use this opportunity to attack."
doctorremulac3, May 18 2012

       //I absolutely concure that there would be love between the technos of the various generations.//   

       Seen a TNG episode in which Geordie creates a holodeck simulation of the original designer of the Enterprise. They barely contain their lustful geekdom and work together to figure out how to save the universe probably using tachyons or whatever.   

       If I was on the Enterprise, whatever situation arose, I would just say, "Tachyon beam?" and do a Dutch wine face. Works every time.
theleopard, May 18 2012

       I'm beginning to understand why William Shatner would like the whole Star Trek groupie community to fuck off and get real jobs, or something.
UnaBubba, May 18 2012

       "Aye sir, we can reconfigure the deflector array to..."   

       "Look why don't we stop calling it a "deflector array" and just call it 'random plot device' like everyone else"
FlyingToaster, May 18 2012

       Because that would be silly ?
8th of 7, May 18 2012

              //I absolutely concure that there would be love between the technos of the various generations.//      

       This would be the case outside of <shudder> Star Trek. Given the institution of time travel magic, Howard Hughes, Da Vinci, and Steve Jobs would be solving the world's problems with nifty little pieces of white plastic and I'd have a bunch of Ottoman Turks and Vikings down in my shop learning how to use angle grinders. A little bit of impressive tech and a knowing grin will overcome any cultural/language barrier if you get the right sort of people.
Alterother, May 19 2012

       I've been searching all my life for the right sorts of people to mix with, and I've ended up at the Halfbakery.   

       It just goes to show .....   

AusCan531, May 19 2012

       star trek rocks. all this hatred is unjustified and unmanly.
Voice, May 19 2012

       // star trek rocks //   

       I respectfully disagree, but I definitely don't hate it. Hate is a word I reserve for things like bigotry and genocide. To me, Star Trek is merely neither the best nor the worst that scifi has to offer.   

       If strapped to a chair with my eyelids stapled open and forced to endure back-to-back episodes, I would much prefer Next Generation. I might even sit quietly and watch it for a few hours before wrenching free of my bonds and tearing out my captor's throat with my teeth. Forcing me to watch the original series would result in bloodshed before the second commercial break.
Alterother, May 19 2012

       In my opinion the main appeal of Star Trek is the overall attitude it celebrates. Things such as curious exploration of both the world around you and the self. Strength and dealing with hardship. Cool technology being used in a positive fashion. But I think the biggest appeal is the message that if we can be standing on the bridge of a spaceship exploring the galaxy hundreds of years from now, we made it. We didn't destroy civilization and we advanced and prospered. This is an attractive idea and the subject of how we managed that is an intriguing topic for exploration.   

       Personally, I just liked the way that, to me, Kirk, Spock and McCoy represented the 3 virtues a man can have: courage, logic and compassion and the way they worked together was really cool.   

       Obviously I'm a Trekkie and I should probably put out the disclaimer that I even attended a Star Trek convention in my youth. In my defense though, I actually had a date with me so I guess I'm a small t Trekkie. (Lest there be jokes about blow up dolls, she was female and hot.)   

       // star trek rocks // Absolutely right.
doctorremulac3, May 19 2012

       // hot //   

       Just how hot, on a scale from zero to Yeoman Janice Rand ?
8th of 7, May 19 2012


       Maybe Janice Rand hot but definitely not Vina hot. (See link)   

       This is the point where all non-Trekkies click away in disgust.
doctorremulac3, May 19 2012

       No, no, things have just gotten interesting.   

       I still have peanuts, if anyone would like to share.
Alterother, May 19 2012

       Thanks, but we haven't finished our Cardassian Fried Tribble yet.
8th of 7, May 19 2012

       YOu want a Tech answer ot a Nerdy TV answer?
gnomethang, May 19 2012


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle