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Remake Star Trek

30 years is long enough.
  (+9, -12)
(+9, -12)
  [vote for,

Old movies are remade all the time. Some are remade every 20-30 years. It has been 30+ years since the original Star Trek came out. On watching the show, the scifi concepts are good, but the production value is low and sometimes borders on camp.

I propose that instead of trying to jumpstart a moribund show (Trek Enterprise) the original Star Trek series be remade. Same characters - even the same plot lines (the good ones). But updated and slick - as is done with most remakes.

There are goods and bads to every remake. If this remake hires decent actors, everything else will fall into place. I invite speculation on actors to fill the various roles. I think Dennis Leary would make a fine McCoy.

bungston, Feb 18 2005

(?) Here's your Spock http://www.google.c...en%26lr%3D%26sa%3DG
[normzone, Feb 18 2005]

Izzard Bones http://www.comedycv...ry-eddie-izzard.jpg
[normzone, Feb 19 2005]

Enterprise cancelled http://www.startrek...s/article/9469.html
It's going [nineteenthly, Feb 20 2005]

Star Trek costumes - cheap http://www.frankbee...om/newsection3.html
Don't dream it..BE IT [ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 21 2005]

Data and gays. http://www.allscifi...ard.asp?BoardID=181
[bungston, Feb 22 2005]

turkish star trek http://video.google...ish+star+trek&hl=en
[jaksplat, Jun 17 2009]

One engineer's plan http://www.buildtheenterprise.org/
[theircompetitor, May 14 2012]

"Descent" http://en.wikipedia..._Next_Generation%29
Awesome [8th of 7, May 15 2012]


       I predict terrible things. I'd probably still watch it though, so I'll remain neutral.
RobertKidney, Feb 18 2005

       David Hasselhoff as James T. Kirk [+].
jaksplat, Feb 18 2005

       Cool idea as long as they don't make it edgy.
ceruleanbill, Feb 18 2005

       isn't this called the next generation?
scubadooper, Feb 18 2005

       Sorry but, yawn.
bristolz, Feb 18 2005

       only sometimes? The show I know and love is camp-fest-a-liscious. All camp, all the time.   

       I propose a one man broadway show starring Kevin Pollack... Oh, wait, that's been done.
ato_de, Feb 18 2005

       I had this same thought one day while musing about all of the early tv shows being remade into current day motion pictures. Star Trek is an obvious choice for this treatment. And probably about the only way they could save the franchise.
waugsqueke, Feb 19 2005

       Why is the world obsessed with remaking old movies? They were good because they were original (well, OK, Star Trek was crap, but it was crap in an original way). Is it confidence or creativity which the American film/TV industry lacks at the moment?
Basepair, Feb 19 2005

       Tony Danza as Spock.
benfrost, Feb 19 2005

       John Wayne as Kirk? You could digitize his old work and patch him in.
normzone, Feb 19 2005

       Ooh, good choice for the [not a list?]. In that case we should find a spot for Tim Curry. Either Sulu or the guy in the red shirt.
normzone, Feb 19 2005

       Stephen Hawking as Pike for the pilot?

       Orson Welles as the Enterprise.
Basepair, Feb 19 2005

       Wilmer Valderrama as Chekhov.
jaksplat, Feb 19 2005

       Definitely Steven Hawkings in some technical role.
normzone, Feb 20 2005

       AAAAHHHH!! Even as a sci-fi nut, I shudder....
DesertFox, Feb 20 2005

       I'm pretty sure it *has* been cancelled.
I half expect them to remake the original with the changes in continuity created by Enterprise.
nineteenthly, Feb 20 2005

       I just noticed that they've recycled "Flight of the Phoenix". Is nothing sacred?
Basepair, Feb 20 2005

       //It's a true blight on Star Trek.//
You can have a blight on a pox? Wow.
calum, Feb 20 2005

       The thing about Star Trek is that to a great extent it is indeed very dire, but unfortunately it is one of the closest things to real hard SF on TV. It isn't that it's good or even proper SF, but it's all we've got. However, i've never seen Babylon 5, so i am doubtless pretty ignorant. On the other hand, Dr Who is coming back.
However, as i don't actually watch TV any more (as predicted by Star Trek), i might be talking bollocks.
nineteenthly, Feb 20 2005

       Star Trek remade...by Gerry Anderson, just to get back at Jonathan Frake.
And it must have more split infinitives.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 21 2005

       Graham Norton as Cpt Kirk. billy connolly as Scotty and Snoop Dogg in drag as Ahurah (sp!?!).
etherman, Feb 21 2005

       The money would be better spent in coming up with something original rather than re-hashing 40 year old ideas. Having said that, my nominations on this somewhat list-ish idea are Tom Baker as Bones, Keanu Reeves as Spock (no problem with playing an emotionless character there), Eddie Izzard as Uhura, Jet Li as Sulu, Samuel L Jackson as Scotty, Jean Claude Van Damme as Chekhov and either George Clooney or Madonna as Kirk. Guest Celebrity spots as expendable red shirts should be auctioned off to the highest bidder.
DrBob, Feb 21 2005

       [bungston] you're klinging on to this obsession far too long.   

       Guys with clitorises on their foreheads was funny the first time 'round I agree, but why not just appreciate the classics - why do we have to re-make everything?
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 21 2005

       Why not remake it as "Star Trek: The Lord of the Rings"? - seamlessly merge the Star Trek and LoTR worlds and throw all the characters from both into a new story.
hippo, Feb 21 2005

       //play Dick Van Dyke// Is that an extreme gay version of paper scissors rock?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 21 2005

       [AWOL] gets the award for "Annotation most likely to make me exhale my drink through my nose"
hippo, Feb 21 2005

       [hippo] Apologies if I spoilt your coffee (or your keyboard) - I hate it when that happens.
Meanwhile, I've been trying to imagine the rules <shudders>
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 21 2005

       Dyke beats van: van would crash if it drives into a dyke.
Dick beats dyke: urinating into a dyke would pollute it.
(Painful bit): Van beats dick: can run it over.
nineteenthly, Feb 21 2005

       This is sick, so very sick...hehehehehehe!
blissmiss, Feb 21 2005

       btw [bungy], did I mention this was a terrible idea?   

       are you going for a fish record? com-onnn people, bungy needs more FISH!   

       and furthermore, //rant alert//[Bungston], the plots in the old series were written by Gene Rodenberry, now deceased, who injected a Moral tone and a little theology in his story. Find a writer today who can capture the audience with that. It won't happen unless you play it on family tv. Sci Fi wants action, blowing up things, as you know....   

       rant has ended- //
dentworth, Feb 21 2005

       [hippo] Do you think we should explain to [nineteenthly] the other meaning of the word?
I agree [dentworth] - the original series was probably a set of useful modern morality plays.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 21 2005

       The other meaning of the word dyke would render the game invalid as it would then become a non-transitive hierarchy.
There are good SF authors still alive but they probably don't write for TV.
nineteenthly, Feb 21 2005

       They need to have more hot babes on the new Star Trek shows. Everyone knows the future is about sex! The most successful modern Trek shows had the hottest babes - Seven of 9 was brought in as an afterthough. There are too many guys running around the new shows - it's like gay paradise. No offense intended - just absolutely seriously very little appeal for straight nerds. Doesn't anyone realize that Kirk was a bachelor icon - runs around on adventures, kicks ass, nails babes and his best friend is no threat whatsoever - he only likes girls every seven years. If he was human he would've been the fat friend.
trekbody, Feb 21 2005

       Actually, there isn't enough gay sex on Star Trek. Considering the increasing acceptance of homosexuality, by the time it's set you would expect there to be many more homosexual encounters, though probably not so many as heterosexual ones.
nineteenthly, Feb 21 2005

       Which brings up the question - I understand from some gay and lesbian people I worked with that they were very into ST-The Next Generation. Can anyone explain the appeal - particularly within that group?
trekbody, Feb 21 2005

       My Nightmare Trek Casting...   

       Kirk - Matt Damon --- Spock - Ben Affleck --- McCoy - Ashton Kutchner --- Scotty - Ewan MacGregor --- Checkov - The Rock --- Sulu - William Hung (American Idol Reject) Uhura - Beyonce (OK - this is not so bad) Nurse Chapel - Elisha Cuthbert (not too painful either)
trekbody, Feb 21 2005

       [trekbody], it may be because of the idea of a future without prejudice. Many people say there is a gay subtext in the original series between Kirk and Spock, which at first i thought was far-fetched, but actually...
nineteenthly, Feb 21 2005

po, Feb 21 2005

       I find that premise weird since nobody was openly gay in TNG. I have heard the Kirk-Spock stuff in the past, but you can read into anything too much. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Still would be curious if anyone has any insights why TNG may have been popular in the gay/lesbian community.
trekbody, Feb 21 2005

       The TNG thing puzzles me too. They skirted around the issue a bit but never actually took the plunge. The series may have been socially cutting-edge in the 'sixties, but more recent incarnations have gone downhill.
Now a remake of the original series that was socially cutting-edge for today would be another matter, but i can't see that happening.
nineteenthly, Feb 21 2005

       I suspect it was popular because it was campy alternative and 'heady' in a geeky way.   

       Makes me wonder why the Simpsons never did more Star Trek spoofs. Maybe because it was already overdone?
RayfordSteele, Feb 22 2005

       //I haven't watched Babylon 5// Nineteenthly - go watch it. Generally it's much more believable than Star Trek... was thought through more and follows a very well-defined storyline.
david_scothern, Feb 22 2005

       So i've heard, but i'll have to get it on video since thanks to the TV licensing laws in this country we were forced to disable our TV to avoid a fine.
nineteenthly, Feb 22 2005

       /I understand from some gay and lesbian people I worked with that they were very into ST-The Next Generation. Can anyone explain the appeal - particularly within that group?/   

       Brent Spiner.
bungston, Feb 22 2005

       "Brent Spiner" - can you clarify. Are they watching the show just because he is gay (is he?) I am pretty sure Worf (can't remember actor's name) was gay. I was part of a conversation where they mentioned it was sort of funny - the "butch" of the show was anything but in real life. I still can't see that being the attraction of the entire show - especially to lesbians - maybe there is something about Deanna Troi or Dr. Crusher I don't know about. I mean - if a homosexual actor guaranteed viewership, gays would be watching TV all day and night!
trekbody, Feb 22 2005

       For one, Spiner was a big draw for the show in general, because the guy can really act. To be stereotypical he also can dance and has a beautiful voice, and in the show did occasionally sing show tunes.   

       There are probably many reasons on deeper lavels that Data appealed to gays. He is competent but also conflicted about what he is and what he should be; his character deals with recurring themes of feeling - to have them, to want to have them, and to not feel them when everyone does. Of course Spiner's acting is what makes it compelling. But what do I know of such matters? Linked is a brief discussion about possible symbolism of Data for gay people - a different aspect than I mentioned above here.
bungston, Feb 22 2005

       Hell yeah, [jak], Hasselhoff. Which is why I just can't fully endorse this idea.
Wisconsin, Feb 22 2005

       //Actually, there isn't enough gay sex on Star Trek.//   

       Nor is there enough kung fu, which is a critisism I direct with equal j'accusation at Eastenders and Everybody Loves Raymond.
zen_tom, Sep 28 2005

       NO! No, no, no, no, no, NO, well....maybe.   

       Ice Cube as Worf. Ben Kingsley as Picard.
Eugene, Sep 28 2005

       Clearly you all mean Babylon 5. (ducks)   

       [AbsintheWithoutLeave] HA!!
sartep, May 03 2006

       sounds good to me.
benfrost, May 06 2006

       I am so proud that this finally happened. I take all due credit.
bungston, Jun 17 2009

methinksnot, Jun 17 2009

simonj, Jun 17 2009

       bungston, how do you feel about the outcome?
tatterdemalion, Jun 17 2009

jaksplat, Jun 17 2009

       Following the success of this idea can I suggest a new category? Culture:Movie:Remake
simonj, Jun 17 2009

       /bungston, how do you feel about the outcome?/   

       I would feel better about some income.
bungston, Jun 17 2009

       also I see how wrong I was, no one blinked that the "morality play " angle was dropped.
dentworth, Jun 17 2009

       // Definitely Steven Hawkings in some technical role //   

       The Man has beaten you to it ...   

8th of 7, May 15 2012

       There's a (bad/old) Star Trek joke that I've been wanting to post somewhere, and after doing a bit of searching decided this was the place for an anno about it. After all, if they remake the series, then that could include remaking the mission of the Enterprise, right?   


       Q: Why should toilet paper be printed with images of the starship Enterprise?   

       A: Because the mission is to scour Uranus seeking Klingons.
Vernon, Jan 09 2018

       Joke MFD - WKTE.   

       No, wait; perhaps you were proposing to remake the joke with a different cast?
pertinax, Jan 09 2018


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