Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Street Urchin Repellant

Get that sponge off my windscreen...
  (+5, -7)
(+5, -7)
  [vote for,

In these uncertain times, it pays to take precautions while driving through the city. At traffic lights I am frequently accosted by gangs of car windscreen washers. I believe that these proto-car jackers need discouraging, so I propose the following: Take your car down to Bob's Auto Defense workshop and upgrade your front windscreen heating element, stepping up the voltage and making tiny pores in the glass surface...

"You pull up to the traffic lights, and the windscreen gang approaches. You press the recessed button under the dash, the interior lights dim as the capacitors begin to charge, the engine deprived of electricity begins to stutter, and with a just a hint of a knowing smile you release the button, sending a bolt of electricty through the grimy sponge placed on your screen..."

Naturally, I cannot condone a full discharge for our smaller citizens, boy scouts, etc...

riposte, Dec 29 2001


       will it work on traffic wardens? especially when you have the necessary permit to park and they are just too lazy to check
po, Dec 29 2001

       YES....I need this! I am accosted daily by pubescent boys who plaster their hairy armpits all over my windscreen. Declining the service seems to have absolutely no effect on them. Then they stand in the middle of the road doing a juggling act with their wipers...and to top it off they say "thanks love". Ew ew ew.
Helium, Dec 29 2001

Tell 'em thumbwax knows who they are and where they live.
When you tell them to knock it off, they'll say
"Yes Ma'am"
thumbwax, Dec 30 2001

       Why not run them down? or remove your windscreen or employ your own urchin to perch on the bonnet (bonnet urchins are preferable to the common street variety - where i live anyway)
benfrost, Dec 30 2001

       Unfortunately these attempts at cleaning your car are just a reflection of social stratification. If the only way they can contact the people participating in society is to clean their cars then they will.   

       Becoming a volunteer youth worker could be a bit more effective than electrifying the problem or other attempts to drive by it. That or building poor houses ...
Aristotle, Dec 30 2001

       Some people would argue that at least they (the urchins) are offering to perform a service in exchange for cash, instead of just begging for it. I myself would rather not be accosted by strangers for any reason.
TeaTotal, Dec 31 2001


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