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Stripey Ketchup

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Stripey Ketchup looks exactly like stripey toothpaste, except it's ketchup.

It comes in a squeezy tube that delivers thick red and white lines of ketchup that can be used as a condiment for your food or to decorate your plate, or when combined with our new blue coloured mayonnaise range, generate a number of iconic national flags. It works like it shows in the toothpaste version diagram. (link)

xenzag, Oct 27 2018

https://h2g2.com/edited_entry/A1047836 how it works [xenzag, Oct 27 2018]

Coca-Cola https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca-Cola
"Originally intended as a patent medicine, it was invented in the late 19th century by John Pemberton ..." [8th of 7, Oct 27 2018]

how to get from an idea about stripey toothpaste to operatics https://www.youtube...watch?v=eQSNVBLTXYY
Oh Sodomia.....ha [xenzag, Oct 29 2018]

Rematch anyone? https://www.youtube...watch?v=bFyh8-c_bn8
Mmmm, let's stay friends. [doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018]

Rot und Weiss https://www.germans...te-6.76-fl.oz-tube/
Well, what do you know? [DrCurry, Oct 29 2018]

[link]






       Ketchup with mustard stripes would be ideal for hot dogs. [+]
8th of 7, Oct 27 2018
  

       I've been disgusted with the amount of sugar put into ketchup, for decades. So, mustard & dill-based relish, thanks.
FlyingToaster, Oct 27 2018
  

       Heinz do a no-added-sugar ketchup, if that helps.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 27 2018
  

       The "no added sugar" is the latest incident of marketing and legal departments getting together.   

       Not bad in the case of Heinz, 1 gram per Tbsp, but there's stuff like "no added sugar" orange juice which has 33 grams of sugar in a 12 ounce glass. They're basically selling sugar with "no added sugar".   

       Put a picture of a fitness model drinking it on the bottle and there you go. You're basically selling Coca Cola as a heath beverage. Why not enjoy a healthy granola bar with that? It says "nature" on the wrapper and tastes like shit so it must be good for you right?
doctorremulac3, Oct 27 2018
  

       Uh, [doc], you do realize that oranges contain sugar? 33 grams in a 12-ounce glass sounds pretty close to what you get if you squeeze an orange.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 27 2018
  

       //Heinz do a no-added-sugar ketchup, if that helps//   

       You'd think so, but they substitute in an artificial sweetener to make up for it. To their credit, I suppose, the product page does say that Sucralose is "not normally found in ketchup".
FlyingToaster, Oct 27 2018
  

       // You're basically selling Coca Cola as a heath beverage. //   

       Coca Cola actually was originally sold as a heath beverage.   

       <link>   

       Then they spoilt it by taking the cocaine out, which is when the rot set in (of fillings, mostly).
8th of 7, Oct 27 2018
  

       Genius.   

       Take two bottles into the shower ? No more with combined ketchup and mustard sauce.
bigsleep, Oct 27 2018
  

       I prefer to drink healthy beverages on the heath.   

       P.S. *stripy
Lemon, Oct 28 2018
  

       You can spell it either way. I prefer the 'ey' version.
xenzag, Oct 28 2018
  

       //Uh, [doc], you do realize that oranges contain sugar? 33 grams in a 12-ounce glass sounds pretty close to what you get if you squeeze an orange.//   

       Uh, you get an insulin spike from juice when the sugar hits your system all at once that you don't get from eating the orange and digesting it to extract the sugar over some measure of time. It's the difference between giving a barbecue fire a squirt of charcoal lighter fluid every couple of minutes and pouring the whole bottle on at once. Hitting your pancreas with high glycemic index foods on a regular basis leads insulin resistance and eventually to diabetes.   

       And who said oranges and other sugary fruits are good for you in the first place? The people who sell them? Mmmmmkay.   

       As far as limes added to the Royal Navy diet to fight scurvy, (I assume that point is coming) when your main food was hardtack and beer, yea, a little fruit is probably better than a horrible diet based on cookies and booze.
doctorremulac3, Oct 28 2018
  

       //Uh,// Ah, OK. I thought you were implying that they add sugar to orange juice.   

       And lime juice was never widely used on British ships. They used lemon juice - much more readily available at the time, and contains more vitamin C. So next time you call one of us a limey bastard, think again and call us a lemony bastard.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 28 2018
  

       Lemony probably isn't a very good insult. It's like "I'm lemony? Uh... thanks?"   

       Not that limey is much worse. "Hey, you eat citrus! Fuck you!".   

       Just doesn't pack a lot of punch.
doctorremulac3, Oct 28 2018
  

       However, a good punch packs a lot of citrus ...
8th of 7, Oct 28 2018
  

       //Uh, you get an insulin spike from juice when the sugar hits your system all at once that you don't get from eating the orange and digesting it to extract the sugar over some measure of time//   

       Yeah, that should get fixed. Remove the sugar and sell it as "sour orange juice"? Also remove some acidity, for "mild reduced sugar orange juice"? Replace sugar with artificial sweetener? Add fibre? Preserve the tiny bags that the juice is in when it is inside the orange (there's gotta be a name for those). That one would be really hard, maybe market it as an elite expensive drink. Replace with high fibre manufactured tiny bags?   

       Bottled orange chunks? Most of the convenience of juice, less of the sugar spike.
caspian, Oct 29 2018
  

       Easy-peasy Lemon squeezy   

       or   

       Lemon Lemon difficult   

       ?
beanangel, Oct 29 2018
  

       So does this have white ketchup in it?
caspian, Oct 29 2018
  

       //As far as limes added to the Royal Navy diet to fight scurvy, when your main food was hardtack and beer// - beer!!? - there'd have been a mutiny if only beer was on offer - I think you meant 'rum'.
hippo, Oct 29 2018
  

       British Sailors tried beer in an attempt to prevent scurvy. It didn't work, but hey, worth a try eh? Using Lime was a short lived experiment when Lemons became difficult to obtain due to being at war with European neighbours. That didn't work well either, but was distinctive enough to get them their nickname. Perhaps because people were laughing at them?
Lemon, Oct 29 2018
  

       //I think you meant 'rum'.//   

       I did.
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       // there'd have been a mutiny if only beer was on offer //   

       They got sodomy and the lash as well, though.
8th of 7, Oct 29 2018
  

       "Three sheets to the wind" and "binge" are both drinking jargon terms that originate from the Royal Navy.   

       Evidently didn't hurt their abilty to kick the crap out of any other world power's navy.   

       Until it met the U.S. Navy of course.
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       Ah yes, that would be in 1812 would it not, when Washington D.C. was burnt by a fleet which sailed up the Potomac while the President and Congress were busy running away to "safety" ... ?   

       And don't bother with John Paul Jones, he was nothing but a privateer subsidised by (as one would expect) by the french, who much prefer to get proxies to do the fighting for them, while they lace on their running shoes and finish the hems on their white flags.
8th of 7, Oct 29 2018
  

       //sodomy// Isn't there a great aria about this very practice, but the words got a bit corrupted as a clever disguise? (Oh sod-em-ia) (see link - then you can try and shoot me)
xenzag, Oct 29 2018
  

       1812 July 19 First Battle of Sacket's Harbor - US turns back British naval attack   

       1813 May 28–29 Second Battle of Sacket's Harbor - US General Jacob Brown turns back British under Sir George Prevost   

       September 13 Battle of Lake Erie- US squadron under Oliver Hazard Perry defeats British under Robert Heriot Barclay, gaining control of the lake   

       1814 September 11 Plattsburgh (Lake Champlain) - US squadron under Thomas Macdonough defeats British under George Downie   

       OK, we'll call it a draw.
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       From wiki "The Burning of Washington was a British invasion of Washington, D.C., the capital of the United States, during the War of 1812. On August 24, 1814, after defeating the Americans at the Battle of Bladensburg, a British force led by Major General Robert Ross burned down buildings including the White House (known as the Presidential Mansion), and the Capitol, as well as other facilities of the U.S. government....The Burning of Washington marks the only time since the American Revolutionary War that a foreign power has captured and occupied the United States capital." Now it's under the control of an unknown bacterial species.
xenzag, Oct 29 2018
  

       The Japanese won at Pearl Harbor as well.   

       But tell you what, how about a rematch?   

       No?   

       Wise decision. (see link)
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       // we'll call it a draw. //   

       <Arthur, King of the Britons>   

       "You're a loony !"   

       </Arthur, King of the Britons>   

       // The Japanese won at Pearl Harbor as well. //   

       They had a tactical victory, which Yamamoto realized long before the attack. When asked if he would win the war, he said "I will run wild for six months, but after that I guarantee nothing. ....."   

       // But tell you what, how about a rematch ? //   

       Yes, why not ? All the U.S.A. has to do is wait until the rest of the civilized world has been engaged in a desperate life-or-death struggle against a truly evil tyrannical regime for over two years, and then join in when it suits.
8th of 7, Oct 29 2018
  

       //how about a rematch? // Well, with Trump sending all of his aircraft carriers overland to El Paso to stop the 12,000 Arabs that are heading on foot towards America from Honduras, there's more than a good opportunity for a few SBS canoes to sneak in and reek havoc again. I'll supply the ketchup for the winner's chip butties.
xenzag, Oct 29 2018
  

       That sounds like a re-run of The Nasty Affair at the Burami Oasis ...
8th of 7, Oct 29 2018
  

       //All the U.S.A. has to do is wait until the rest of the civilized world has been engaged in a desperate life-or-death struggle against a truly evil tyrannical regime for over two years, and then join in when it suits.//   

       Installing a truly evil tyrannical regime into the US for two years first, as the case is now, was, I admit, a stroke of genius.
RayfordSteele, Oct 29 2018
  

       Yes, an astonishing insight. Everyone's waiting for the first cannonball to hit Fort Sumter ....
8th of 7, Oct 29 2018
  

       //But tell you what, how about a rematch?//   

       //Yes, why not ?//   

       I was suggesting a rematch of the War Of 1812, not WWII.   

       Gentleman's rules: no nukes.
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       Ooh! Ooh! Please sir, can we use biologicals? Aww, go on, please? The US and UK are probably quite well-matched in that aspect of warfare; and without it, all those secret developments will just stay secret. Booooring.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 29 2018
  

       I would say the UK could wipe America out with comparative ease. I'm going out now, but when I return, I will reveal the simple method.
xenzag, Oct 29 2018
  

       OK, we’ll wait for you.
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       Let me save you the wait, [doc]. Her answer will involve a combination of GM crops and Trump
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 29 2018
  

       OK, well, I was waiting patiently just staring at the screen but I'll get on with my life.   

       Unfortunately I have tax stuff to do. I'd actually RATHER talk to Xenxag about Donald Trump. But then again I'd rather have my skin removed and be dipped in lemon juice than deal with business tax stuff so that's not saying much.
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       // Please sir, can we use biologicals? //   

       // I will reveal the simple method. //   

       Fast-food vouchers. McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Dunkin' Donuts ... air-drop them over schools and playgrounds in vast numbers. In a few years, the number of late-teens fit enough for combat duty of any sort (apart from piloting drones) will be vanishingly small (even now, the numbers are frightening).   

       Just think, all that lard ... one decent heatwave, and the entire population south of the 49th parallel will liquefy. Then again, it'll reduce the US reliance on imported hydrocarbons, so it's not all bad.
8th of 7, Oct 29 2018
  

       I'm going to work on taxes now.
doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018
  

       Hey, look, it’s more-or-less Baked!   

       (Depending on how much you like mayo with your ketchup.)
DrCurry, Oct 29 2018
  
      
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