h a l f b a k e r yNo, not that kind of baked.
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Stripey Ketchup looks exactly like stripey toothpaste,
except it's ketchup.
It comes in a squeezy tube that delivers thick red and
white lines of ketchup that can be used as a condiment
for your food or to decorate your plate, or when
combined with our new blue coloured mayonnaise range,
generate a number of iconic national flags. It works like
it shows in the toothpaste version diagram. (link)
https://h2g2.com/edited_entry/A1047836
how it works [xenzag, Oct 27 2018]
Coca-Cola
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca-Cola
"Originally intended as a patent medicine, it was invented in the late 19th century by John Pemberton ..." [8th of 7, Oct 27 2018]
how to get from an idea about stripey toothpaste to operatics
https://www.youtube...watch?v=eQSNVBLTXYY
Oh Sodomia.....ha [xenzag, Oct 29 2018]
Rematch anyone?
https://www.youtube...watch?v=bFyh8-c_bn8
Mmmm, let's stay friends. [doctorremulac3, Oct 29 2018]
Rot und Weiss
https://www.germans...te-6.76-fl.oz-tube/
Well, what do you know? [DrCurry, Oct 29 2018]
[link]
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Ketchup with mustard stripes would be ideal for hot dogs. [+] |
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I've been disgusted with the amount of sugar put into ketchup, for decades. So, mustard & dill-based relish, thanks. |
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Heinz do a no-added-sugar ketchup, if that helps. |
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The "no added sugar" is the latest incident of marketing
and legal departments getting together. |
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Not bad in the case of Heinz, 1 gram per Tbsp, but there's
stuff like "no added sugar" orange juice which has 33
grams
of sugar in a 12 ounce glass. They're basically selling sugar
with "no added sugar". |
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Put a picture of a fitness model drinking it on the bottle
and there you go. You're basically selling Coca Cola as a
heath beverage. Why not enjoy a healthy granola bar with
that? It says "nature" on the wrapper and tastes like shit
so it must be good for you right? |
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Uh, [doc], you do realize that oranges contain sugar? 33 grams
in a 12-ounce glass sounds pretty close to what you get if you
squeeze an orange. |
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//Heinz do a no-added-sugar ketchup, if that helps// |
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You'd think so, but they substitute in an artificial sweetener to make up for it. To their credit, I suppose, the product page does say that Sucralose is "not normally found in ketchup". |
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// You're basically selling Coca Cola as a heath beverage. // |
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Coca Cola actually was originally sold as a heath beverage. |
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Then they spoilt it by taking the cocaine out, which is when the rot set in (of fillings, mostly). |
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I prefer to drink healthy beverages on the heath. |
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You can spell it either way. I prefer the 'ey' version. |
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//Uh, [doc], you do realize that oranges contain
sugar? 33 grams in a 12-ounce glass sounds pretty close to
what you get if you squeeze an orange.// |
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Uh, you get an insulin spike from juice when the sugar
hits your system all at once that you don't get from eating
the orange and digesting it to extract the sugar over some
measure of time. It's the difference between
giving a barbecue fire a squirt of charcoal lighter fluid
every couple of minutes and pouring the whole bottle on
at once. Hitting your pancreas with high
glycemic index foods on a regular basis leads insulin
resistance and eventually to diabetes. |
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And who said oranges and other sugary fruits are good for
you in the first place? The people who sell them?
Mmmmmkay. |
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As far as limes added to the Royal Navy diet to fight
scurvy, (I assume that point is coming) when your main
food was hardtack and beer, yea, a little fruit is probably
better than a horrible diet based on cookies and booze. |
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//Uh,// Ah, OK. I thought you were implying that they add
sugar to orange juice. |
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And lime juice was never widely used on British ships. They
used lemon juice - much more readily available at the time,
and contains more vitamin C. So next time you call one of us
a limey bastard, think again and call us a lemony bastard. |
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Lemony probably isn't a very good insult. It's like "I'm
lemony? Uh... thanks?" |
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Not that limey is much worse. "Hey, you eat citrus! Fuck
you!". |
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Just doesn't pack a lot of punch. |
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However, a good punch packs a lot of citrus ... |
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//Uh, you get an insulin spike from juice when the
sugar hits your system all at once that you don't
get from eating the orange and digesting it to
extract the sugar over some measure of time// |
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Yeah, that should get fixed. Remove the sugar and
sell it as "sour orange juice"? Also remove some
acidity, for "mild reduced sugar orange juice"?
Replace sugar with artificial sweetener? Add fibre?
Preserve the tiny bags that the juice is in when it
is inside the orange (there's gotta be a name for
those). That one would be really hard, maybe
market it as an elite expensive drink. Replace with
high fibre manufactured tiny bags? |
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Bottled orange chunks? Most of the convenience of
juice, less of the sugar spike. |
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So does this have white ketchup in it? |
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//As far as limes added to the Royal Navy diet to fight scurvy, when your main food was hardtack and beer// - beer!!? - there'd have been a mutiny if only beer was on offer - I think you meant 'rum'. |
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British Sailors tried beer in an attempt to prevent scurvy. It didn't work, but hey, worth a try eh? Using Lime was a short lived experiment when Lemons became difficult to obtain due to being at war with European neighbours. That didn't work well either, but was distinctive enough to get them their nickname. Perhaps because people were laughing at them? |
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//I think you meant 'rum'.// |
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// there'd have been a mutiny if only beer was on offer // |
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They got sodomy and the lash as well, though. |
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"Three sheets to the wind" and "binge" are both
drinking jargon terms that originate from the Royal
Navy. |
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Evidently didn't hurt their abilty to kick the crap out
of any other world power's navy. |
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Until it met the U.S. Navy of course. |
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Ah yes, that would be in 1812 would it not, when Washington D.C. was burnt by a fleet which sailed up the Potomac while the President and Congress were busy running away to "safety" ... ? |
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And don't bother with John Paul Jones, he was nothing but a privateer subsidised by (as one would expect) by the french, who much prefer to get proxies to do the fighting for them, while they lace on their running shoes and finish the hems on their white flags. |
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//sodomy// Isn't there a great aria about this very practice, but the words got a bit corrupted as a clever disguise? (Oh sod-em-ia) (see link - then you can try and shoot me) |
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1812 July 19 First Battle of Sacket's Harbor - US
turns back British naval attack |
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1813 May 28–29 Second Battle of Sacket's Harbor -
US General Jacob Brown turns back British under
Sir George Prevost |
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September 13 Battle of Lake Erie- US squadron
under Oliver Hazard Perry defeats British under
Robert Heriot Barclay, gaining control of the lake |
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1814 September 11 Plattsburgh (Lake Champlain) -
US squadron under Thomas Macdonough defeats
British under George Downie |
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OK, we'll call it a draw. |
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From wiki "The Burning of Washington was a British invasion of Washington, D.C., the capital of the United States, during the War of 1812. On August 24, 1814, after defeating the Americans at the Battle of Bladensburg, a British force led by Major General Robert Ross burned down buildings including the White House (known as the Presidential Mansion), and the Capitol, as well as other facilities of the U.S. government....The Burning of Washington marks the only time since the American Revolutionary War that a foreign power has captured and occupied the United States capital." Now it's under the control of an unknown bacterial species. |
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The Japanese won at Pearl Harbor as well. |
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But tell you what, how about a rematch? |
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Wise decision. (see link) |
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// we'll call it a draw. // |
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<Arthur, King of the Britons> |
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</Arthur, King of the Britons> |
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// The Japanese won at Pearl Harbor as well. // |
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They had a tactical victory, which Yamamoto realized long before the attack. When asked if he would win the war, he said "I will run wild for six months, but after that I guarantee nothing. ....." |
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// But tell you what, how about a rematch ? // |
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Yes, why not ? All the U.S.A. has to do is wait until the rest of the civilized world has been engaged in a desperate life-or-death struggle against a truly evil tyrannical regime for over two years, and then join in when it suits. |
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//how about a rematch? // Well, with Trump sending all of his aircraft carriers overland to El Paso to stop the 12,000 Arabs that are heading on foot towards America from Honduras, there's more than a good opportunity for a few SBS canoes to sneak in and reek havoc again. I'll supply the ketchup for the winner's chip butties. |
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That sounds like a re-run of The Nasty Affair at the Burami Oasis ... |
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//All the U.S.A. has to do is wait until the rest of the
civilized world has been engaged in a desperate life-or-death
struggle against a truly evil tyrannical regime for over two
years, and then join in when it suits.// |
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Installing a truly evil tyrannical regime into the US for two
years first, as the case is now, was, I admit, a stroke of
genius. |
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Yes, an astonishing insight. Everyone's waiting for the first cannonball to hit Fort Sumter .... |
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//But tell you what, how about a rematch?// |
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I was suggesting a rematch of the War Of 1812, not
WWII. |
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Gentleman's rules: no nukes. |
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Ooh! Ooh! Please sir, can we use biologicals? Aww, go on,
please? The US and UK are probably quite well-matched in
that aspect of warfare; and without it, all those secret
developments will just stay secret. Booooring. |
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I would say the UK could wipe America out with
comparative ease. I'm going out now, but when I
return, I will reveal the simple method. |
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Let me save you the wait, [doc]. Her answer will involve a
combination of GM crops and Trump |
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OK, well, I was waiting patiently just staring at the
screen but I'll get on with my life. |
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Unfortunately I have tax stuff to do. I'd actually
RATHER
talk to Xenxag about Donald Trump. But then again
I'd rather have my skin removed and be dipped in
lemon juice than deal with business tax stuff so that's
not saying much. |
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// Please sir, can we use biologicals? // |
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// I will reveal the simple method. // |
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Fast-food vouchers. McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Dunkin' Donuts ... air-drop them over schools and playgrounds in vast numbers. In a few years, the number of late-teens fit enough for combat duty of any sort (apart from piloting drones) will be vanishingly small (even now, the numbers are frightening). |
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Just think, all that lard ... one decent heatwave, and the entire population south of the 49th parallel will liquefy. Then again, it'll reduce the US reliance on imported hydrocarbons, so it's not all bad. |
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I'm going to work on taxes now. |
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Hey, look, it’s more-or-less Baked! |
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(Depending on how much you like mayo with your
ketchup.) |
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