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Teach Immigrants Newspeak

Make it impossible for them to have subversive thoughts
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It has recently been suggested that teaching Muslims English will help them not to be subversive. This could be taken further. Just after the last war, a certain esteemed author suggested that Newspeak would sufficiently mould the minds of the populace to avoid subversive thoughts. I therefore suggest that Muslims are taught Newspeak instead so as to prevent them from thinking anything naughty like being able to conceive of the notion of human rights. Moreover, the Qur'an should be translated into Newspeak and Arabic versions banned.
nineteenthly, Jan 22 2016

Migrants should speak German at home, too. http://www.spiegel....chen-a-1006904.html
[Toto Anders, Jan 23 2016]


       I thought all religious texts were already in some dialect of Newspeak?
pocmloc, Jan 22 2016

       Big Brother is certainly watching, according to most of them.
RayfordSteele, Jan 22 2016

       A noble idea, indeed. It requires, though, that the newly learned Newspeak gets applied in daily life. For that you need other New-speakers in your neighbourhood. So one would have to create camps and ghettoes for the New-speakers and install a language police, which might be well in accordance with your approach.   

       A few weeks ago, the german party CSU, member of the reigning coalition, proposed that migrants should speak German at home, too. They did not clarify how to check the migrants' compliance. The televisor obviously still needs to be invented in Bavaria.
Toto Anders, Jan 23 2016

       // They did not clarify how to check the migrants' compliance. //   

       They must have a few former Stasi operatives whos experience they can draw on. Paying chidren to spy on their parents is an obvious method ... "Shop your Uncle, win an X-box ! " woud be a great slogan. This would also seed division and distrust within the community.   

       For those without children, having their door kicked down by jackbooted stormtroopers on a regular basis, followed by prolonged brutal interrogation, should be acceptably persuasive. Doubtless many Germans already secretly own the uniforms, boots, rubber truncheons and electric-shock machines, and would just love the opportunity to use them.
8th of 7, Jan 23 2016

       NB total bs, apparently last year £45 million slashed from the adult ed budget, then Cameroon pledges £20 million, so its actually a £25 million cut. Hmm, so the pledge was newspeak.
not_morrison_rm, Jan 23 2016

       Someone should translate Sarah Palin into 'brain damaged chimpanzee speak' as that was clearly her audience recently.
xenzag, Jan 23 2016

       // so the pledge was newspeak //   

       Sp. "David Cameron doubleplusgood duckspeaker", actually.
8th of 7, Jan 23 2016

       I think it would be a good idea to teach all persons a common, neutral, second language like Esperanto.   

       A common language spoken by all could assist mankind in many ways. The many languages of the world cause distrust and mis-communications leading to many conflicts not unlike the often misinterpreted translations and printed communications versus face to face communications that convey facial and body language.   

       Of course tyrants will use the global language to get their message out globally, like any other new concept that can be converted to a weapon, but that is unavoidable.
Sunstone, Jan 28 2016

       Esperanto is excellent in that it is easy to spell, but many of the words only make sense if you know them. Much better would be phonetic English. It has come to my attention that Haiti uses as its language phonetic French - this can be our model (see this text translated into Haitian, below. They are partial to the letter k, and have kept the accents which sort of defeats the whole endeavor).   

       In any case: we would call the new language World Unity.   

       Esperanto se ekselan nan ke li se fasil yo eple, men anpil nan mo sa yo sèlman fè sans si ou konnen yo. Anpil pi bon ta dwe fonetik elemantè lang angle. Li te gen vin nan atansyon mwen ke Ayiti sèvi ak kòm lang li yo fonetik elemantè franse - sa a kapab modèl nou an (gade tèks sa a tradui nan ayisyen an, anba a Yo se an pati a lèt k la, ak te kenbe aksan yo ki sòt de defèt jefò nan tout antye. ).   

       Nan nenpòt ka: nou ta ka rele lang nan nouvo Mondyal Inite.
bungston, Jan 17 2017

       // many of the words only make sense if you know them. //   

       This is true of most languages, is it not ?
8th of 7, Jan 17 2017

       Not at all! the majority of words in the majority of lnguages make a great deal of sense, whether you know or care. Just not to you.
pocmloc, Jan 17 2017

       Erm..where to start...the UK has one of the largest expat communities, circa 10% of the population.   

       Speaking as one of them, I can tell you that the average expat can only say "one beer please" in the language of the country they reside in. Being able to say "How much for the little girl?" categorises them as advanced learners.
not_morrison_rm, Jan 17 2017

       Pah. I am no linguist, but I can say "which way is the post office?" in almost any language. It's "WHICH WAY IS THE POST OFFICE?"
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 17 2017

       FYI Esperanto was the most life-threatening language of the 20th century.   

       For some reason the Third Reich took a dim view of Esperanto speakers and so tacked them onto the list of people to go to the death camps.   

       NB just clocked a Daily Mirror story with the line "Her clothing, with bear arms,..." borderline newspeak.   

       NBB Amazing amount of cheese references in the CIA file dump..
not_morrison_rm, Jan 17 2017


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