Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Crufts Dog Show Barking Mad Competition

make dogs bark and win prizes
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
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It's Crufts annual dog show and I've been known to post a Half Baked idea appropriate to the event.

This year I bring the suggestion of The Crufts Dog Show Barking Mad Competition, in which dogs of all types compete in the new sound making category.

It's a currently overlooked feature of canines in this event that they can emit a large variety of noises.

These are judged according to a combination of the following criteria: barking; growling; howling; snoring; whimpering; bone crunching, farting and door scratching. Special harmless cruelty free tests are constructed to elicit the required sound responses. During these, the judges will listen carefully for qualities such as: loudness, sustain, depth of note, scaryness, persistence, and 'muscicality'. Sounds will be amplified and played over the arena's tannoy system, with recordings available for subsequent purchase.

Noise making is a great equaliser, and not dependant on years of selective breeding, training or incessant grooming. This means that a small dog or a basic mongrel can 'out- noise' a much bigger, or thoroughbred specimen in many categories.

The advanced section features owners imitating the sounds made by their pets.

xenzag, Mar 10 2019


       Arf baked [+]
pocmloc, Mar 10 2019

       Bonus bun if the contest allows for translation from Bork to Human Language(s).
Sgt Teacup, Mar 10 2019


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