Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Opposite Of Crufts

Crufts competition for the actual dog owners
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
  [vote for,

It's been some time since I posted a "Crufts" idea, but the annual dog circus event still continues to provide great fuel for invention.

This year I bring to the world a new event to be called: The Opposite Of Crufts

It's something that is projected to run parallel to the main event, and directly mirror each of the competition's set pieces. Instead of the dogs being judged, it's the owners who are the competitors in the Opposite Of Crufts event.

This involves them carrying out all of the exact same set pieces as the dogs do. ie charging around a special human equivalent obstacle course; walking, turning, fetching; obedience tests; and of course being closely inspected for pedigree/grooming/poise/voice characteristics.

"And this year's Cruft's Dog Owner Winner goes to a fine grey haired executive terrier from Glasgow. The judges were particularly impressed with her penetrating gender neutral vocal fry voice, and ability to run along the shopping lane course wearing heels, whilst waving a designer clutch bag in one hand, and sending a text with the other."

xenzag, Feb 15 2020


       Where this gets frightening is where the fashion industry begins to take notice.
RayfordSteele, Feb 15 2020

       "Children must be accompanied by a responsible adult. Irresponsible adults must be accompanied by a responsible dog."
8th of 7, Feb 15 2020

       You could call it the St.Furc show.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2020

       Sounds like a pity ribbon for the dog.
wjt, Feb 16 2020

       //St.Furc// :-)   

       Also, [+].
pertinax, Feb 16 2020

       ? Don't get the //St Furc//, cryptic clue please.
wjt, Feb 17 2020

       As you wish ...   

       "5 down: Modern Calpurnia stands aloof from brass architects, perhaps ? (3, 7)"
8th of 7, Feb 17 2020

       //get the //St Furc// - Try reversing the order of the letters.... [wjt]
xenzag, Feb 17 2020

       AWWWWW ... you've spoilt it now. Typical.
8th of 7, Feb 17 2020

       It's 'being kind to everyone' day..... want to join in? Ha
xenzag, Feb 17 2020

       No, now we want to go and drown some kittens. Bah.   

       <Goes to move [xen]'s name up Leper List/>   

       <Realizes [xen] is already at top of List/>   

8th of 7, Feb 17 2020

       Did you hear the one about the leper card player? He threw his hand in! Ha
xenzag, Feb 17 2020

       Thanks [xenzag] I was looking for zebras. The 3 does happen to be wjt does it?, [8th].
wjt, Feb 18 2020


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