Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Famous Mystery

You know him, but you don't. He is in no way affiliated with the exploits of the writer of this entry, The Flying Mystery.
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The Famous Mystery is a superhero whose power is that he looks so generic that everybody that sees him thinks they might possibly somehow know him. He uses this ability to his advantage in fighting various evildoers, convincing them that he is a distant relative of theirs for whom they had at one point in their lives expressed great affection. This rapport building technique enables him to—after having consoled a villain and explained to them that their malicious ways are not their fault and are instead attributable to economic hardship in their youth and bad parenting—talk the villain into checking themselves into "evil rehab" 12-step programs.

His indentured servant, Bobby Wavy, serves as his sidekick and expert computer technician, fixing bugs The Famous Mystery incurs while writing e-mails on "The Generic Computer," but still leaving a few for The Famous Mystery to contend with to simulate the state of the typical computer belonging to the average guy possessing your typical amount of technical ineptitude.

Though The Famous Mystery's powers prove themselves to be formidable allies in the struggle to maintain peace and civility in modern society, they suffer from two key drawbacks. The first is that they are ineffective whenever The Famous Mystery does battle with pathologically anti-social hermits who have hated everyone they've ever known. The second is that The Famous Mystery is unfortunately homophobic, and it bothers him that when men approach him and ask him how they know him, he cannot tell whether they genuinely want to know where they know him from or if they are gay and are trying to pick him up. It is for this reason that he continually remains on the edge of making the decision to change his appearance through plastic surgery and renounce his life as a superhero.

The Flying Mystery, Aug 13 2005


       huh, well, at least you made me stop and think. Good for you.
babyhawk, Aug 13 2005

       No, babyhawk. Good for YOU. Looking at the ways others benefit from a given scenario at the expense of ignoring how your condition has been improved will only lead you down a road to dolor, drugs, alcohol, and Scientology. Trust me; I read this in a book by Dr. Phil.
The Flying Mystery, Aug 13 2005

       Yeah. Just because Dr. Phil is fat doesn't mean his dietary program doesn't work.
The Flying Mystery, Aug 14 2005

       Just 'cause Dr. Phil's problems are hard to nigh impossible to diagnose, don't be too hard on him.
reensure, Aug 14 2005

       And his sidekick, Totally Redundant Man!
RayfordSteele, Aug 14 2005

       And his sidekick, Totally Redundant Man!
RayfordSteele, Aug 17 2005

       I stopped, I thought, I am still baffled.
wagster, Aug 17 2005

       With apologies to Oscar W. " Sir, I have never in my life heard of that of which you speak, and I shall do my utmost from here on to forget it."
ConsulFlaminicus, Aug 17 2005

       ...known to the world as John Doe...
phoenix, Aug 17 2005


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