Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The George Formby Grill

"when I'm grilling winglets"
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(+8, -1)
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The George Formby Grill looks like a ukulele, similar to the one played by the most excellent George Formby. (probably unknown in the colonies, but you can learn) The two halfs of the small instrument open up to reveal the teflon coated grilling apparatus, stored neatly inside. In fact it's the perfect size and shape for preparing two fried eggs.

One of the characteristics of this type of grill is its ability to collect the excess grease, which in this case travels down a set of canals that run the length of the handle, looking like the strings of a real ukulele.

Of course any time you are curious, you can attach real strings to it and begin playing it as an actual ukulele. In this case you would commence using your George Formby song book, starting with one of my favourites "When I'm Cleaning WIndows" (see link)

xenzag, Jun 27 2010

George Formby http://www.youtube....watch?v=sfmAeijj5cM
when I'm cleaning windows [xenzag, Jun 27 2010]

Vegetable bacon http://deirdrakelly...ropped-baconkid.gif
Makes you look like this! [xenzag, Apr 29 2017]


       Even though a few of us in the colonies have seen (and heard) George Formby, all I could picture while reading this idea was boxer-pitchman George Foreman doing a Tiny Tim-like rendition of "Tiptoe through the Juleps".
jurist, Jun 27 2010

       Turned out nice again!
RayfordSteele, Jun 27 2010

       What? George Formby is a God! There should be a whole category devoted to him.... look even the great Tindale, in a pre-transformed stage of his development, managed to devote an idea for a fax machine to his memory. (aside - was the transformation from Rod's Tiger like that which Dr WHo encounters, with the emergence of each new character?)
xenzag, Jun 27 2010

       It would have to be a more complex name than that, it would be unacceptable to be just Juan Cornetto.
8th of 7, Jun 27 2010

       if you could see what I could see, when I'm cleaning Teflon....
notripe, Aug 13 2013

       Hah! So this is what "The George Formby Grill" is ? I always thought it was a (real) infomercial item.
FlyingToaster, Aug 13 2013

       When Formby died, at his request, his head was autopsied* (or craniopsied, whatever), and it was found that he had a bony growth into his nasal sinuses. In the 1990's a team from Leeds made a digital reconstruction of his airways to demonstrate that this growth was responsible for his nasally whine.   

       [*I don't mean that he died at his request. Nor that he made the request when he died. He made the request some months before his passing.]
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 14 2013

       This voice modulation by way of a nasal defect was what subsequently became known as the Form by de Septum.
xenzag, Aug 14 2013

       Many moons ago, the mighty generous Rods Tiger faxed a piece of bacon from hip, swinging London to The City of the Angles [sic], CA. Though I moved long ago, I still haven't eaten the bacon, which taunts me mercilessly.   

       Speaking of surprised, though I was rather hoping the grill incorporated thick stainless steel strings into the grill itself, I won't fret about it.
thumbwax, Apr 28 2017

       It's still a diamond..... and I still miss my fax machine. It was simple and hard to ignore, unlike the deluge of daily email trash that I simply 'select all, delete', but fax me bacon templates and I will pay attention. Who wouldn't?
xenzag, Apr 29 2017

       Vegetarians ?
8th of 7, Apr 29 2017

       Yes, of course - but in secret.
8th of 7, Apr 29 2017

       I eat vegetable bacon.
xenzag, Apr 29 2017

       Ah yes, bacon from vegetarian pigs ...
8th of 7, Apr 29 2017

       Actually they are a root vegetable, called baconicus-porky. This resembles a red cabbage, except when you slice it, you get vegetable rashers that look and taste exactly like bacon from a pig's arse (or from wherever part of a pig it comes) Having never tasted bacon, I have no way of knowing the truth of this.
xenzag, Apr 29 2017

       If you have never tasted bacon, it's like growing up listening to elevator music and never hearing Mozart. It's like looking at a lightbulb but never having seen a sunset. It's like wearing nylon and never having touched velvet. If course, elevator music, lightbulbs and nylon are all functionally sufficient.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 29 2017

       More than good enough for proles. After all, what they've never had, they never miss. If they're happy with LED lighting, McBurgers, pop music and The Sun, leave them alone. Once you start showing them things like real music, wine, and food with a proper taste and flavour, they'll start asking for stupid stuff like education, votes, and human rights, and where will that end up ?   

       No good will come of it, we say. Then again, there's some cheap amusement to be had, like watching a dolphin trying to play a trombone, or Jeremy Corbyn standing for election. You know it's hopeless and going to end in disaster, but it's fun to watch.
8th of 7, Apr 29 2017

       //like watching a dolphin trying to play a trombone//   

       Actually, SeaWorld (in San Diego, I think, but it may have been one of the other locations) had an orca that they taught to play a somewhat modified piano.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 29 2017

       Mozart? Don't they play that in the elevators at Tescos to calm down the bacoholics who have spent too long staring at the sun instead of inventing better lighbulbs?
xenzag, Apr 29 2017

       My understanding is that Tesco is normally a one-floor shop so, no.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 29 2017

       I don't pretend to be an expert at 'Tesco' structures. A Tescophile?
xenzag, Apr 29 2017

       My overbutler's man's man apparently shops there sometimes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 29 2017

       Sounds like you're reading this in Clingon, when you can only understand Pigeon.
xenzag, Apr 30 2017

       Damn you, [xen]! Was just about to post this.
wagster, Jan 24 2021

       Ha ha - you could always write up a George Foreskin Grill instead!
xenzag, Jan 24 2021

       What about a Robert Forward Grill, powered by gravitational anomalies ?
8th of 7, Jan 24 2021

       The 1974 George Formby Vs. Muhammad Ali fight was, frankly, a predictable mismatch. Mostly because Formby wasn't in the best of fighting shape on account of being dead for 13 years.
bs0u0155, Jan 25 2021

       Yes, it surprised everyone that the referee let the fight go on as long as it did, though Formby's win was widely predicted; the points margin was, however, much larger than anticipated.
8th of 7, Jan 25 2021

       The point I knew it was over was the moment when Formby strummed G minor and then suddenly modulated to an E sharp locrian diminished 9th chord. There was no way Ali could have recovered from that.
pocmloc, Jan 25 2021

       I'm going to settle this with one simple question: Could Ali clean windows while singing and playing a ukelele? No! That's a clear win for George Formby.
xenzag, Jan 25 2021

       Excellent [+] - don’t know how I missed this in 2010. I must have been busy
hippo, Jan 25 2021

       // Formby strummed G minor and then suddenly modulated to an E sharp locrian diminished 9th chord. //   

       .. while wearing boxing gloves, too. Just aweseome.
8th of 7, Jan 25 2021

       The George Washington grill can also be used as a printing press.
sninctown, Jan 25 2021

       That sounds like a Revolutionary concept ...
8th of 7, Jan 25 2021

       Guy plays a ukelele, says his dad's jokes, sings out his nose, and becomes a legend. One senses that the UK during the 30's and 40's was positively starved for any form of entertainment.
RayfordSteele, Jan 25 2021


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