Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Monkey's Bum Peanut Dispenser

make nuts emerge from the monkey's bum
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The Monkey's Bum Peanut Dispenser is designed for those who are addicted to peanuts, to the point of eating handfulls of them at a time, especially when they are offered for free at some public bars.

It's quite a simple device that takes the form of a small squatting rubberised monkey, who's head unscrews to allow the hollow body to be filled like a hopper with peanuts. These descend down an internal intestinal funnel that forces them to emerge one at a time when the belly of the monkey is squeezed. As the funnel has a downwardly projecting texture, it acts like a non-return valve for the peanuts.

The greedy peanut hog must now place one hand under the monkey's bum as they use the other hand to squeeze out one peanut at a time.

xenzag, Jul 24 2020


       You could make a civet-shaped dispenser for ludicrously overpriced coffee that works on the same principle.   

       Are the peanuts in their shells, or salted/roasted ?   

       If in their shells, they could be treated with a harmless brown food dye, and a laquer to make them glisten slightly, for added realism.
8th of 7, Jul 24 2020

       Ah yes. I'm well aware of the imitators but no Bar Monkey's Bum seen until now.
xenzag, Jul 24 2020

       Narrative causality. Some ideas in the past end up going down the wrong leg of the Trousers of Time, ending up in an adjacent tachyonic pseudoreality. Then when a congruency is encountered (or forced), stuff leaks through.
8th of 7, Jul 24 2020

       On the other hand, "Durkheim!" makes an excellent curse-word, better than "Belgium!" in my opinion.
pertinax, Jul 24 2020

       Tell me one thing which would not be improved by being dispensed out of a prosthetic arse.
pocmloc, Jul 24 2020

       A prosthetic haemorrhoid.
pertinax, Jul 24 2020

       //how are things existing for decades or centuries “imitators” of a recently posted idea?// It happens. There's a documentary series on Netflix called 'Dark' about this sort of creative causality.
xenzag, Jul 24 2020

       Yes, but it's blatantly plagiaristic ...   

       Even the episode dedicated to recursion is a repeat.
8th of 7, Jul 24 2020

       What's wrong with paradoxes anyway? Its all an illusion, memories are all in the present, created on a whim. Causality making things happen on a macro level is arbitrary if not observed, and the observer can only perceive what is happening in the present. Everything else is a kind of quantum soup.
pocmloc, Jul 24 2020

       [xenzag], I been watching Dark. Excellent twists and turns.   

       As for this idea I love, love, love it. I'm one of those people who grabs a handful of peanuts and about an hour later realizes I've eaten an entire bowl without even registering it in my calorie-conscious mind. Until I step on the scale and have a major heart attack from all the fat and salt the next morning.   

       So sure, poop away my darling primate...poop away, but only one log at a time por favor.
blissmiss, Jul 24 2020

       v2.0 might dispense peanut butter via similar mechanism.
whatrock, Jul 24 2020


       Might do a unicorn version to dispense that rainbow striped toothpaste. Actually you could just print the appropriate art on the toothpaste tube.   

       Ew to that too.
doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

       // v2.0 might dispense peanut butter //   

       ... or Nutella ... ?
8th of 7, Jul 24 2020

       Nutella covered peanuts. The best of both worlds.
blissmiss, Jul 24 2020

       Such a dispenser would fit in perfectly with the decor of the Korova Milk Bar. Nothing like a few handfuls of peanuts and a glass or two of Milk Plus to sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence ...
8th of 7, Jul 24 2020

       Clockwork, just like clockwork, 8th. So good to have you with us again.
blissmiss, Jul 25 2020

       Just watched Amok Time and thought of you, [8th].   

       Oh wait. Wrong species, wrong quadrant, wrong strain of violence. Sigh.
whatrock, Jul 25 2020

       Ah, but there is no // wrong strain of violence // ...
8th of 7, Jul 25 2020


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