Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tomato Pez Dispenser

For The Aspirant Vampire
  [vote for,

Ever wish you were a vampire, but can't stand the taste of blood? Imagine a pez-type dispenser about three feet tall, designed to hold and dispense whole, delicious, ripe tomatoes instead of pez candy. The head of this "victim" would of course be interchangeable/tradable/upgradeable.

Instructions for use: 1. close the blinds. 2. sit between a lamp and the window. 3. push back the head of the pezato dispenser and fall upon the "throat" with dread fury 4. slake your ravening thirst for a few moments 5. when you are certain the neighbors have seen you, drop the pezato dispenser, go next door (leaving your mouth a mess) and ask your neighbors if they have "heard anything."

dijontoothpaste, Jan 23 2004

Labatt Blue Hat Trick dispenser
Another take on quasi-pezzing. [waugsqueke, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Mu wa hahahaha! +
k_sra, Jan 23 2004

       Very nice, [dijon] ... blood-soaked bun for you [+]
Letsbuildafort, Jan 23 2004

       there I was thinking what a nice sane person, dijon was... your sister? oh ok - I understand now!   

       how many calories in that stuff?
po, Jan 23 2004

       The beauty of tomatoes is that you use more calories eating them than they actually contain. Especially by the time you've run over to the neighbors' house a few times.
dijontoothpaste, Jan 23 2004

       that is celery, silly.
po, Jan 23 2004

       splendidly daft. lovely work [dijon]
jonthegeologist, Jan 23 2004

       Excellent. I'll have two please.
hazel, Jan 23 2004

       personally i think human blood tastes better then tomatos but maybe that's just me
slapdash loser, Jan 23 2004

       [po], maybe celery also, but I'm almost certain tomatoes work that way too. Cabbage does as well. What's the term for this? I keep thinking endo-caloric, but I know that isn't it. Nando Calrissian?   

       Anyway, celery just doesn't produce the gore that tomatoes do. And while red cabbage would produce a lovely mess, the proportional pezzage dispenser would be enormous! Like a vampire attacking an elephant: "I come to suck your blood-- whoa! Nevermind!"
dijontoothpaste, Jan 23 2004

       //your sister? oh ok//   

       We were raised by wolveseses, don't ya know.
k_sra, Jan 24 2004

       // wolveseses // lovely use of the hyperplural [k_sra]. Halfbaker [hazel] often employs 'em too ...

One Mouse
Two Mice
Three (or more) mouses.

Quite right [po], its inexcusable.
jonthegeologist, Jan 24 2004

       Great link, waugs. One-stop shopping.
lintkeeper2, Jan 24 2004

       You forgot that it's Four Mices
hazel, Jan 24 2004

po, Jan 24 2004

       Bloody brilliant ... I think you are going to have to improve the ease-of-loading though. Regular pez require the hands of a surgeon and the patience of a cab driver to load properly. Tomatoes would be quite a mess.   

       On the plus side though, if you manufactured these by altering old cabbage patch dolls, it would look like you preferred the blood of an infant…
luecke, Jan 24 2004

       I prefer the plural of moose. Meeces.
DesertFox, Dec 21 2005

       I think you'll find the plural is Moo'.
fridge duck, Dec 22 2005

       Mooces? Interesting (I know the plural of moose)
DesertFox, Dec 24 2005


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