Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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The most effective alarm clock ever conceived

If you dont wake up, you will never wake up!
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This alarm clock will feature a built in terrarium/insect/reptile cage. You go out and find the most deadly animal you can possibly place inside your cage and you can keep it as a pet. When the "death by poisonous creature" button is placed in the on position of the alarm clock the cage will release the creature into your bedroom. The alarm clock will also feature a smoke generator to cause breathing problems and eventual suffocation. It will have "scent-expellers" to release the most repulsive scents imaginable. The alarm will also be connected to a phone line and will make phone calls to random numbers and eventually it will dial 911. The alarm clock would say your name and number to ever number it called and then insult the person it called, hang up and dial another number. The 10th call or so would be to 911 because you probably were killed by your poisonous creature that got released earlier. It would be battery powered, solar powered, and even run on a potato as a third backup power source! The clock would also feature prerecorded Tony Robbins motivational speeches as well as pre-recorded truckstop bathroom noises! If you can sleep through this alarm clock you are never going to wake up!
The Dude, Dec 04 2002

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       Why didnt I think of that! Excellent suggestion..
The Dude, Dec 04 2002
  

       I'm a little dissapointed. This is just so, so...tame.
tyskland, Dec 04 2002
  

       I was sure this was going to be about one of my younger nieces...
yamahito, Dec 09 2002
  

       If that's an offer, blissy, I'll pass.
yamahito, Dec 09 2002
  

       The perfect office gift!
Prof Manitou, Apr 14 2003
  

       I'm never going to bed, either... (useful as a study aid. croissant. just kidding)
phundug, Apr 14 2003
  
      
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