Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tie Breaker

Corporate angst venting assistance
(+2, -2)
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Do you feel crushed by the harsh expectations of a cut-throat industry that's eating away at your last pretenses of a personal life? Fed up with the hypocrisy of your business contacts, and your bosses' iron-fisted incompetence?

Get even with everyone by destroying the symbolic authoritarian chokehold on your neck: your tie.

To get maximum value from this delicious process, one should acquire the services of a professional. Your local neighbourhood Tie Breaker will help you select the means of annihilation most closely suited to your particular profile and situation.

A respectable Tie Breaker's arsenal includes stretching racks, a stove with glowing coal and grim-looking pliers, sulfuric acid in various concentrations and a scaled-down iron maiden.

placid_turmoil, Mar 15 2007

Tight neck ties increase glaucoma risk http://www.innovati.../bericht-20215.html
[imaginality, Mar 16 2007]


xenzag, Mar 15 2007

       As an alternative to tie mutilation (what did they ever do to you anyway?) you could always consider growing your hair.
zen_tom, Mar 15 2007

       //growing your hair// Tie Breaking is not meant to give a defying stance (i.e. I'm not suggesting you wear the shredded and scorched tie to the office afterwards!), it is merely a means of privately venting frustrations, in a work environment where hippie political statements are usually detrimental to one's success.
placid_turmoil, Mar 15 2007

       Baked. I've been in several bars in which the wearing of a tie was expressly forbidden and punishable by the public destruction and humiliation by display of any such tie.   

       I've also been in one that did the same with bras. But that doesn't relate to this idea, it's just an aside.
Noexit, Mar 15 2007

       I've been to a bar where they cut your tie in half and hang it on the wall, so there are half-ties all over the place.
xandram, Mar 15 2007

       Who pays for the ties? Why would a tie-buyer agree to any of this?
Texticle, Mar 15 2007

       I like my ties. Indeed, they are my way of venting against the corporate angst thing.
DrCurry, Mar 16 2007

       Just don't tie your ties too tight.
imaginality, Mar 16 2007

       //I like my ties.// Prison inmates eventually grow fond of their ball and chain.
placid_turmoil, Mar 16 2007


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