h a l f b a k e r y
"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
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Do you feel crushed by the harsh
expectations of a cut-throat industry
that's eating away at your last pretenses of
a personal life? Fed up with the hypocrisy
of your business contacts, and your
bosses' iron-fisted incompetence?
Get even with everyone by destroying the
chokehold on your
neck: your tie.
To get maximum value from this delicious
process, one should acquire the services
of a professional. Your local
neighbourhood Tie Breaker will help you
select the means of annihilation most
closely suited to your particular profile
A respectable Tie Breaker's arsenal
includes stretching racks, a stove with
glowing coal and grim-looking pliers,
sulfuric acid in various concentrations and
a scaled-down iron maiden.
Tight neck ties increase glaucoma risk
[imaginality, Mar 16 2007]
||As an alternative to tie mutilation (what did they ever do to you anyway?) you could always consider growing your hair.
||//growing your hair// Tie Breaking is not
meant to give a defying stance
not suggesting you wear the shredded
and scorched tie to the office afterwards!),
it is merely a means of privately venting
frustrations, in a work environment where
hippie political statements are usually
detrimental to one's success.
||Baked. I've been in several bars in which the wearing of a tie was expressly forbidden and punishable by the public destruction and humiliation by display of any such tie.
||I've also been in one that did the same with bras. But that doesn't relate to this idea, it's just an aside.
||I've been to a bar where they cut your tie in half and hang it on the wall, so there are half-ties all over the place.
||Who pays for the ties? Why would a tie-buyer agree to any of this?
||I like my ties. Indeed, they are my way of venting against the corporate angst thing.
||Just don't tie your ties too tight.
||//I like my ties.// Prison inmates
eventually grow fond of their ball and