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Periodically in the Tour De France (and every other high powered cycle race) there is a huge crash where the bikes and riders all pile into each other in an entangled heap.
There is a sound that goes with this, but it's not a very satisfying one. It's more like the amplified noise of metallic crisp
bags being crushed. The idea of Tubular Bikes rectifies this puny noise by generating the sound of dozens of tubular bells being struck into an ear ringing, chaotic cacophony.
To make this happen each racing bike must be fitted with a tubular bell. This is built into the frame in such a way as to not impede the cyclist or compromise the structural integrity of the bike. Suspension using mono-filament nylon strings within the roughly triangular space formed between the saddle, pedals and front forks would seem the optimum location for the tubular bell.
As each tubular bell would weigh the same, all bikes will remain at an equal disadvantage due to their addition. Each Tubular bell would be provided by and installed by the organisers prior to the start of the race, ensuring a good variety of sounds being generated when a crash occurs.
Once in place all we have to do is wait for the inevitable catastrophic pile up, when dozens of bikes deliver the unique, never to be repeated, race symphony of Tubular Bikes.
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[+] for anything that offers even the smallest prospect of making bike racing even a little bit interesting. |
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// but it's not a very satisfying one // |
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We disagree; the groans, yells of pain, and anguished whimperings are pure delight. |
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They'll all still be there, but mingled with the
sound of clanging, boinging tubular bells. |
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Ask not for whom the bell rolls. |
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I'm sort of a Pee-Wee Herman bike owner, preferring "good
ole" bells to new-fangled ones. But this one sounds
interesting. |
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