Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Unwholesome passenger rejection system

God almighty.. what the hell is that smell?
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Each and every damn time I hop on a bus I always seem to end up sitting within smelling distance of the foulest most unhygienic person in the world. Some might argue that this experience adds to a rich tapestry of life.. Not me- my bus will have gently wafting air from the doorway over an array of smell sensors in the doorframe. It will detect the following:

BO, Piss, Shit, Excess alcohol, Fags (just put out fifteen seconds ago), Two day old curries, Really cheesy feet, Fear, Greasy lank hair-combined with the above.

I know these sensors exist. They just need applying and connecting to an indicator that warns the driver (or a bus AI that the driver can blame).

andrewuk, Jan 22 2002


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Annotation:







       Er my girlfriend says the public transport system is in a bad enough state at the moment without depriving bus companies of their main source of income. So I`ll fishbone myself…
andrewuk, Jan 22 2002
  

       Lordy help 'em in their quest to get enough dough to retain an attorney to sue for discrimination. Though there IS a loophole in signage "Right to refuse service to anyone who smells like refuse" and I recall nothing along the lines of "...regardless of race, religion, creed, colo(u)r, stench...".
thumbwax, Jan 22 2002
  

       andrewuk... um, sorry. I'll try to sit somewhere else if I see you get on.
waugsqueke, Jan 23 2002
  

       What about people who wear excessive amounts of perfume?   

       I'd rather sit next to someone who hasn't showered in a week. At least that smell won't stick to me for the rest of the day.
rebekkahshiri, Jan 23 2002
  

       I have the same problem in class. And I can't kick out my students.
phoenix, Jan 23 2002
  

       This is a great idea. Those gin-sodden bums don't pay bus fare anyway, and they keep many other would-be fare paying riders away.
LeBain, Jan 24 2002
  

       They could simply attach a spray can of air freshener to the ceiling. Anyone who needs it can take it down, spray around them, and put it back up. No comments are necessary.
phundug, Jul 07 2004
  

       Everyone smells different so what is bad for some is not so bad for others. Just douse everyone in the same scent so noone can complain
shahcat, Sep 23 2009
  

       And this is your third idea? I'll be patient.
normzone, Sep 23 2009
  


 

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