Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Uplifting furniture

furniture senses your mood and plays music to cheer you up
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Imagine you've had a hard day, feeling very negative and depressed. You go home and flop down on the couch. FIbers embedded in the fabric are activated by your weight, and sense body temperature, heart rate, skin moisture, and restlessness. Based on a ratio of these factors, it chooses music and volume level to make you feel better/happier, based on your most played songs, genres, and an analysis of the intensity of the music. For me, listening to "the right song" can do wonders for a bad mood, and can even make you cry under the right circumstances. If it senses you've fallen asleep, it will lower the music and choose some soothing ambient wave crashings or fields of grass in the wind to put you at ease.
innoventor, Mar 05 2006

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       doesn't rise to allow you to vacuum more easily then?   

       there's something wrong with your title.
po, Mar 05 2006
  

       Skin moisture?   

       Generally I wear too many articles of clothing to have my chair even touch my skin.   

       Can you set your ambient soothing music to Led Zeppelin's Kashmir?
jellydoughnut, Mar 05 2006
  

       Perfect furniture for the church of no pants.
Galbinus_Caeli, Mar 05 2006
  

       <obligatory "When I First Read This" anno>
When I first read this I thought it was about those chairs that assist the elderly and infirm up and out of the seat.
  

       A chair that makes you cry? I think the Spanish Inquisition used those. Or maybe it was the dentist's waiting room.   

       How about a chair with a TV remote buiilt into it that senses when I am disgusted with what I am watching and changes the channel to find something interesting and entertaining... oh, wait. I forgot it's television we're talking about. Sorry.
<aside - is this a rant or a WIBNI? -aside>
Canuck, Mar 05 2006
  

       //Uplifiting//   

       I shudder.
DesertFox, Mar 05 2006
  

       /can even make you cry under the right circumstances/   

       I invariably start blubbering uncontrollably whenever I hear Baby Got Back.
Texticle, Mar 05 2006
  

       No helium in this idea? No ropes and pulleys? Not even a trebuchet?   

       I'm officially sticking a croissant on your ceiling. Now you find a way to get up there.
phundug, Mar 06 2006
  

       You need self-immolating furniture [BrauBeaton].
wagster, Mar 23 2006
  

       But that's only when applied to a very specific part of their anatomy.
nuclear hobo, May 21 2007
  
      
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