Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Upside Down Fly Zip

Avoid Embarrassing Trouser Moments with The Upside Down Fly Zip
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

Traditional trouser zips under the influence of gravity have a tendency to gradually open up revealing those undergarments that should really be kept underwraps. So let gravity work for you by fitting the trousers with an upside down zip and an extra heavy fastening tag! This idea is a real time saver as now you can visited the cloak room and not even bother to do up your fly zip afterwards as you know that within a short space of time, gravity will do the job for you !
martynwyatt, Aug 29 2003


       tis a stroke of genius martyn. +
jonthegeologist, Aug 29 2003

       Er, I think the reason they come down is they are under pressure from a big gut.
FloridaManatee, Aug 29 2003

       it's going to confuse the ladies
hazel, Aug 29 2003

       Sorry, don't really think this'll fly.
k_sra, Aug 29 2003

       its not gravity its the wiggling about. getting in won't be a problem, you can buy zips that come apart at the end.
po, Aug 29 2003

po, Aug 29 2003

       dy bear.
grip, Aug 29 2003

       bear and grin it.
po, Aug 29 2003

       You could hang a heavy lead sinker on the zipper. Not only would this tend to make it zip if forgotten, but it would also give you a gentle reminder tap in the privates if it were left hanging high.
bungston, Aug 29 2003

       I'm thinking of a more Rube Golberg-type of approach to this...   

       Why not rig a pulley system with a weight somewhere near the waistline, with the end attached to the zipper pull?   

       <shrug> it makes as much sense to me....
X2Entendre, Aug 29 2003

       Flying upside down, why not?
NotSoQuick, Aug 30 2003

       Alternatively, just walk on your hands.
lostdog, Aug 30 2003

       That would hurt and how would that help?
silverstormer, Aug 30 2003

       theres a problem: when you want to take your pants off and you unsnap at the waist, the beginning of the zipper (now at the top) will be keeping your pants on just as tight even if you're unzipped
hawg, Sep 15 2003

       aahhh, but you could completely eliminate the snap (or button) at the waist and just have the zipper completely disconnect when you want to take off your pants. If this is what you meant from the beginning, please forgive my inattention...
hawg, Sep 15 2003

       I have to hold the zipper up while I put away my parts? I predict a huge increase in fly related johnson injuries. [- ], that sounds painful.
oxen crossing, Sep 15 2003

       No way is this intended for the man about town/trend setter,but would a horizontal zip,maybe with the bottom bit elasticated,for easier access to the old fella,be a good idea?   

       or not really?
Loft Nuthouse, Feb 17 2004

       I'm not entirely au fait with the intricacies of getting ones tackle out of ones own flies [Loft], being deficient in the penis stakes to the tune of one, but your horizontal zip suggestion does remind me of those breeches they used to have in the Regency period. They had a sort of button up flap which went across the whole of the front of the trousers. I have to say you would look very suspect fashion-wise.
hazel, Feb 17 2004

       true enough hazel.   

       hhhhmmm,lie down urinals.........   

       my horizontal zip will work,it will I tell you,it will
Loft Nuthouse, Feb 17 2004

       You could go the way of "Cleaver Pants" which had a "sheath shaft" with a zipper on the tip. If the zipper was left open, the only thing that would happen is that you would lose the (exceedingly large) codpiece inside.
Klaatu, Feb 17 2004


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