Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Validation Bird

"I give it a bun! SQUAWK!"
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People love validation. It's why we post videos on YouTube, why we send out friend requests on MySpace, and so on and so forth. We need to be told that we are approved of in various ways.

Some people who don't get this from their friends, parents, colleagues, significant others, etc., pay for things like motivational posters, support groups, Hallmark products, and therapists to fulfill this need.

Some birds, such as parrots, love to say things. The principles of behavioral science allow us to manipulate such birds to say whatever we want them to say.

The present invention proposes that birds be trained at a facility using well-established and humane methods to provide regular validation and encouragement to consumers in the form of phrases such as "You look nice today! SQUAWK!" and "People like you! SQUAWK!".

Custom orders are easily accommodated (for an additional fee);

for bodybuilders: "Nice pecs! SQUAWK!"

for hypochondriacs: "You'll be okay! SQUAWK!"

for comedians: "Hahahahaha! Very funny! SQUAWK!"

for comedians with blogs: "lol! roflmao! SQUAWK!"

for professional musicians: "Rawk! SQUAWK!"

for halfbakery-goers, see above.

sqykly, Jun 25 2008

[link]






       Welcom, [sqykly]! SQUAWK!
pertinax, Jun 25 2008
  

       would you program the bird to say things to sex addicts or drug addicts   

       something positive sounding for them might be a real negative   

       generally if you hate yourself what is it exactly that you would like to hear?
vfrackis, Jun 08 2009
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

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