Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Vandal Proof Dryer

If you can't fight 'em...
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
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Every public restroom hand dryer I've ever seen has instructions something like this on it:

PUSH BUTT(scratch scratch scratch) RUB HANDS UNDER (scratch scratch) ARM(scratch) (H)AIR

I've written to the manufacturer several times suggesting that perhaps a public advisory would be in order to clarify the original instructions, to no avail. While my hands do indeed get dry, I am concerned I may not be getting optimal results, or may be risking injury. I assume these instructions are important, or they would not have been posted in the first place.

Rather than fight this popular defacement, perhaps a hand dryer could be produced that actually operates on the modified instructions. I don't know, maybe a set of large chamois-covered cheeks that your press and rub your hands on until dry?

spartanica, Apr 04 2002

Excel Dryer. Inc. http://www.exceldryer.com
Makers of the Xcelerator model, which they claim is already vandal proof. I took the liberty of writing them and suggesting they drop over and review this issue. Perhaps, spartanica, they need to hear it from other voices.

("Thank you, waugsqueke, for your interest in Excel Dryer.") [waugsqueke, Apr 05 2002]


       mm … bristly pits?
reensure, Apr 04 2002

       I've always wondered what arm hair was useful for. Now I know. Thanks!
RayfordSteele, Apr 04 2002

       Just have the directions read "Step 1:Walk around the building 5 times."   

       By the time you come back and read step 2, your hands will be dry.
dag, Apr 04 2002

       Rubbing your hands under your arms is a lot more likely to make them dry than the feeble wheezing of these noisy wallwarts. The directions aren't any better in pictograms for the stupid, either; step three seems to be 'Recieve bacon'.
StarChaser, Apr 05 2002

       Yeah but, the last instruction is usually: STOPS AscratchTOMscratchICALLY ("ATOMICALLY"). I've always run away before it does this so I don't know what it's like--could be nucular, I don't know.
entremanure, Apr 05 2002

       To combat changing letters to form more amusing sentances, hand dryer manufacturers now show a small picture of a finger pressing a button... which closely resembles a finger up an ass when butt cheeks are carved on either side..
Mr Burns, Jul 02 2002

       There do exist hand dryers that operate via some sort of IR sensor. I believe the ones in my school are of that kind, for example. So are these "Excel" ones, waugsqueke.
andrewm, Jan 02 2003

       I still liked a sign that read:   


       Also interesting was a sign that read:   

       [no ad]MISSION
[without] PERMISSION
supercat, Jan 02 2003

       It's probably more sterile to use your arm hair to dry your hands than it is to use a hand dryer. They're rather dirty. They just spread the fecal matter.
notme, Jan 02 2003

       wish I had a pound for everytime I laughed at [StarChaser]'s anno
po, Jan 02 2003

       At my school, the driers in the bathroom have a picture of someone pushing a button, then holding their hands under the vent. however, the warm air is represented by red squiglly lines. Someone cleverly wrote with a Sharpie on the instruction plate "step 1-push button Step 2-recieve bacon" LOL
Dickcheney6, Apr 14 2008


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