Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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War league tables

Choose the best war for your adopted tank (or whatever!)
  [vote for,

Now people are starting to want to adopt tanks (or whatever), it's high time someone in the MoD came up with war league tables so we can tell what's best for our youngsters. After all, it's no good sending young Tonka to the Federated States of Micronesia only to discover the poor thing can't swim.

...and what happens when your darling pocket battleship managed to join the CPN-Maoist reception year in Nepal and runs aground in the Bengal delta?

LittleMissLoopy, Jan 31 2003


       "..... and I know it's a bit silly because after all he's only a year old, but we've put his name down for Somalia. It's old fashioned, but we both feel that if he goes to a private war, he'll get a much better start; his dad went to Congo, you know, but there's no way we could afford the fees these days. We don't like the thought of him going to some poor, second-rate Government-run war, with no proper equipment, and knocking about with all those nasty rough oiks........"
8th of 7, Jan 31 2003

       Hmmm...I was hoping for some kind of football-esque league table showing P|W|D|L|F|A|Pts for all wars ever fought. Oh well.
ChewTheBeef, Jan 31 2003

       [ChewTheBeef] That already exists. It reads, "Everybody lost very badly, but some lost much more than others."
8th of 7, Jan 31 2003

       Dear Mr. TheBeef,   

       it's a good idea, but you know what will happen. Those little 2nd and 3rd Division wars will all go bankrupt and grind to a halt (which is OK in itself) while the CNN/SkyNews Premier league gets all the sponsorship cash.   

       Hmm, - think this one's been baked already if only in the Bond movies.
LittleMissLoopy, Jan 31 2003

       If the World was split into divisions like this though, it would result in less 'unfair' wars, huge rich countries thrashing smaller poorer less developed nations.

Apart from in the cup of course.
ChewTheBeef, Jan 31 2003

       "..... and you goin an excited crowd here on the beaches of Normandy as we await the kickoff of the long-awaited knockout tie between the Allies and the Axis. The Allies are being captained by their new signing, Dwight Eisenhower, bit of an untried youngster, against the Axis old-timer Erwin Rommel, who played so brilliantly in the North Africa All-Comers challenge against Bernard Montgomery in 1940. And now the German team are running out onto the pitch in their new Away strip, and there's the Swiss referee just talking to the linesmen ......."
8th of 7, Jan 31 2003

       "...And the allies have come out all guns blazing, the Germans concentrating at least so far on an impenitrable defense. The allies are attacking hard though, and there it is! Monty goes straight through German defender Omaha and his teammates are spilling through the breach and that has resulted in a goal for England. The German suprime coach Hitler, who so excellantly built up the german attack after that crushing defeat after the 1st World Cup. He's known for his outstanding half-time speeches and he has called his team to the side and seems to be stessing the importance of a speedy counterattack. Yes he's talking particularly to Panzer over at the side, what will the second half bring?..."
Germanicus, Aug 27 2005


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