Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"When And How Will You Die In A Nuclear War?" Website.

Put in your address and get the estimate. "You're 3 blocks from ground zero, you die immediately."
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

Using likely target info that would be hit in the event of a nuclear war, it would take your location and tell you when you could expect to snuff it in the event they push the button.

At the center of a major city? Buh-by.

In the suburbs? Probably survive the blast and starve to death after the food, (including pets and squirrels) runs out. Month and a half maybe?

In the mountains living off the land? 6 to 12 months. The time it takes for those mountains to be invaded by millions of people looking to survive off the land just like you.

A fun game the whole family can play! (Inspired by kdf's nuke map. See link)

doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

Based on this. https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
[doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020]

Tzar Bomb https://en.m.wikipe...org/wiki/Tsar_Bomba
[xenzag, Jul 24 2020]

The show that made me think this might be interesting. https://youtu.be/XetplHcM7aQ
[doctorremulac3, Jul 25 2020]

Dr. Strangelove magnet:?xt=urn:btih...s%3A6969%2Fannounce
[Voice, Jul 25 2020]

Tzar Bomba destructive radius map. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-k6p-haJ-lU
[xenzag, Jul 25 2020]

We will all go together when we go https://www.youtube...watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs
[Voice, Jul 26 2020]

Good luck trying to hide in a hill from this.... https://www.youtube...watch?v=4R7pZOAWQrk
[xenzag, Jul 26 2020]

Blast / fallout map https://images.app....l/pCTzZeZM8nNEzmDv9
But you're not home free if you're not in these areas. [doctorremulac3, Jul 26 2020]


       Read the entire link to confront the true reality of a large nuclear bomb explosion. Forget about putting in your address if you live in any city anywhere in the world as even 100 miles from the epicentre of such a blast you will be incinerated.
xenzag, Jul 24 2020

       // even 100 miles from the epicentre of such a blast you will be incinerated //   

       Not so; while the size of the device and its deployment mode are the principal determinants, there are a number of paradoxical effects as determined by numerous US and USSR tests/during the Cold War. In many cases, a simple deep slit trench can give excellent prospects of survival even close to Point Zero.   

       If the heat flash and the blast don't kill you, then you're at no risk from the radiation, only contamination.   

       So, you need to be well below ground level, and have suitable protective equipment. Hiding in a sewer is a good option.
8th of 7, Jul 24 2020

       //Civil defense planning and nuclear survivalism (both serious as well as "games") have existed since the Truman administration.//   

       So you can go to a website and type in where you live and it will tell you how long you have to live after a nuclear war taking factors beyond blast radius such as deterioration of food supplies, utilities, clean water into consideration telling you not only when you will die but how?   


       Just kidding, there isn't one.   

       I'll clarify: There are a lot of ways people will die after a full on nuclear war depending on where they are. Somebody living in a survival bunker in Idaho with 5 years of food and plenty of ammo is going to do better than somebody living on an Air Force base, but there are gradients between the two. Somebody living in a rural area outside New York City might wonder what's in store for them.
doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

       //Not so; while the size of the device and its deployment mode are the principal determinants, there are a number of paradoxical effects as determined by numerous US and USSR//
Did you read the link? Here's a tiny section: "All buildings in the village of Severny (both wooden and brick), located 55 km (34 mi) from ground zero within the Sukhoy Nos test range, were destroyed. In districts hundreds of kilometres from ground zero, wooden houses were destroyed, stone ones lost their roofs, windows, and doors, and radio communications were interrupted for almost one hour. One participant in the test saw a bright flash through dark goggles and felt the effects of a thermal pulse even at a distance of 270 km (170 mi). The heat from the explosion could have caused third-degree burns 100 km (62 mi) away from ground zero. A shock wave was observed in the air at Dikson settlement 700 km (430 mi) away; windowpanes were partially broken for distances up to 900 kilometres (560 mi).[32] Atmospheric focusing caused blast damage at even greater distances, breaking windows in Norway and Finland. Despite being detonated 4.2 kilometres (2.6 mi) above ground, its seismic body wave magnitude was estimated at 5.0–5.25
xenzag, Jul 24 2020

       Kdf, again, you need to understand an idea before commenting. The idea wasn't "Think about the aftermath of nuclear war and possible survival techniques."   

       //I understand you did have an original idea, once, but it died of loneliness.// I understand you did had an interesting, well thought out comment once but... just kidding.   

       Kdf, seriously, based on where you live, do you know how you'd die? Blast? Radiation exposure? Starvation? If it's something simple like being incinerated in a fireball, well, that's it. But how do you fare as systems break down further away from the targets? How do you get food? DO you get food? Do you have clean water? Are you on a well or does your area get water from a central location that's now been destroyed? How much fallout does your area get? How much of a factor to your survival is that? Is there any preparation you might do to mitigate these disasters? Is it even worth trying in your area? That's what might be kind of interesting and that's what this would explore.   

       Further, there might be some utility to this. Nuclear war seems about as real as the second coming to most people. Putting a little fear about this into the people of the world might be a good thing no? And if there IS any chance of survival for some, this might offer some help to those lucky few. Might even save a few lives. Hey, at the very least it would be a great way to sell disaster survival food kits or something.   

       Put it this way, tell me you wouldn't put your address into this thing and read all the gory details.   

       One more way this might be used: real estate rankings. With people moving out of the deteriorating cities to more rural areas, a "Nuclear Survivability Rating" for real estate maps could become a thing.
doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

       I looked. Nothing at all out there even close to this.
doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

       Through a carefully planned program of preparation, diet and denial, I plan on living forever.   

       And you can too. It's all in my $29.95 book: "How I Plan To Make $29.95".
doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

       Just curious, what's your story? Judging by the tenor of your criticisms you must be reaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllly smart.   

       Are you? I mean, if so that's great. So how smart we talkin'? Like, super smart 'n stuff or just kinda? Smart people are awesome. If you're like, mega smart, you should be proud of your awesome smartanaity.
doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

       // I'm reading this as "You won't get instantly incinerated or die of radiation sickness directly from the fireball . //   

       Correct. If you're far enough away, or protected sufficiently, that you survive the thermal pulse (non-ionizing) then the dose of ionizing radiation you receive will not even be harmful, let alone dangerous. The ionzing radiation doesn't actually propagate very far, due to a process called radiation transport; the plasma is actually opaque to some radation which results in "downshifting" to the visible and thermal bands.   

       ERWs are a bit different, but even so a thick layer of soil or concrete will cut the neutron dose right down.   

       Analysis of Japanese casualties showed that those who received dangerous or lethal radiation doses also had potentially lethal burn and blast injuries, but critically had also inhaled and ingested fallout nuclides.
8th of 7, Jul 24 2020

       This isn't about direct blast effects so much as being about effects of systems that will collapse. How they'll collapse, when they'll collapse, how one system's collapse will lead to another's due to how they're interconnected. Then how those systems will affect the people they're keeping alive.   

       New York for instance doesn't need a direct hit from a nuclear bomb to kill off its population. It's artificially supported by an interconnected system of life support technologies that would stop working in a nuclear war. You can't feed New York by planting potatoes in central park. Not for long anyway. Or maybe you could. For a little while. This would explore that concept. Probably say it won't work, but it could explore that.   

       A civilization is an interconnected series of systems making one living organism. How removal of those systems in various areas affects the organism is interesting.
doctorremulac3, Jul 24 2020

       It was well touted in the '70s or '80s that a USSR ICBM headed for New York would get intercepted by US defenses over Toronto.
FlyingToaster, Jul 25 2020

       Oh yea, SDI, the “Star Wars” controversy. Good times.
doctorremulac3, Jul 25 2020

       See the link for the show that made me think this might be interesting.
doctorremulac3, Jul 25 2020

       [doc3] instead of arguing, maybe you could clearly restate what the idea is, because there is an obvious issue understanding how it differs from many existing sources and sites. I for one can't see what's unique about it.
tatterdemalion, Jul 25 2020

       Well, thank you for asking nicely, but I'm not arguing, I'm responding to snarky, insulting comments from kdf in kind. Which is fine, that can be fun too.   

       As far as the idea, if there's a nuclear war, we all know what happens if one of these lands on your house, or a mile from your house, or three miles etc.   

       But what about areas nowhere near the nuclear blasts? Every area will be affected differently but they will be affected, this would look into how. Your survival will be determined by where you live. How you DIE will be determined by factors such as when systems that deliver food collapse, central water systems will stop working so if you're on a well that will be a factor in your survival. Putting your address into a database that has all these considerations factored in might tell you what might happen to YOUR particular area even if you aren't anywhere near an actual nuclear blast.   

       Put in 123 Sunshine Lane Happytown USA.   

       Scenario: Warheads land at Airforce base 30 miles away, major city 100 miles away.   

       Day 1: Power off, sporadic radio from ham radio operators if you have the appropriate radio gear.   

       Day 15: Food supply gone. Farm grain stores being raided. Law breaks down.   

       Day 30: Starvation starting to kill people in the area.   


       Now another area might say Day 1: Power, communications and water off. Death from thirst within one week after supplies on hand, soft drinks, water heaters etc run out.   

       Anyway, that's the idea. I thought it might be mildly interesting.
doctorremulac3, Jul 25 2020

       The main problem, I suggest, is that we don't know how the nuclear exchange itself will play out, nor even who the players will be.   

       For example, a nuclear exchange between India and Pakistan (only) could, I've heard, fuck us all up in the end - but the details of civilisational collapse would be vastly different from those arising from the good ol' Russia/America scenario. And even in that latter scenario, some warheads would get through and others might not - so the airforce base down the road might not be hit, and it would be the burst over the state capital that would get you, or vice versa.   

       The idea is indeed interesting, but it over-estimates the knowability of the future.   

       For the UK, I seem to remember a Soviet planning assumption, coming to light post Cold War, that four warheads would be enough to annihilate it. France, being larger, was allocated five. But would China allocate the same numbers, if China were the enemy? And could Putin, with his Belgium-sized economy, still afford them? And would he even bother, having already bought the House of Lords, allegedly?
pertinax, Jul 25 2020

       //The idea is indeed interesting, but it over- estimates the knowability of the future.//   

       Probably right, there are so many scenarios that it would be impossible to come up with every permutation so you'd just have to pick one and model the aftermath. I guess the thing that's interesting is not so much the morbid aspect of the post nuclear consequences to civilization as the interaction of all these systems that keep civilization working.   

       Maybe a better model would be one where you could shut off say, crude oil and see what happens. Shut down power and see what happens etc. Just concentrate on the systems and model what occurs when they variously get shut down. All these parts make the whole work, like a human body. What happens if you remove the liver? The spleen? The heart? Which systems can be bypassed, which can't. We're doing a real life experiment with various systems now because of this pandemic. Movie theaters, schools etc. Maybe not as consequential as power or food production, but these are systems we depend on too. Guess that's what has me thinking about this stuff.   

       There's these video game ads that pop up showing for instance a guy trying to save a princess, but there's lions in one chamber, snakes in another, bowling balls in another and you have to open the chambers in the right sequence to get to the princess. Open the bowling balls to fall on the snakes first, then the next correct chamber until you get to the princess. A model of civilization where you could shut things off in various sequences to see what would happen might be interesting.   

       That's something that's probably been explored in depth especially by military forces hacking into computer systems running infrastructure to disable them in time of war. Would be interesting to be able to fiddle with though.
doctorremulac3, Jul 25 2020

       //It's all in my $29.95 book: "How I Plan To Make $29.95".//   

       Will you update us on progress? Do you have an estimated time-frame for achieving this ambitious life-goal?
pocmloc, Jul 25 2020

       See link.... If a bomb this size landed on New York, there would be nothing left for a 100 mile radius. This was a single 50 Megaton detonation. Speculating as who would be safe or survive is simply laughable in the face of such overwhelming destructive power. The true face of atomic warfare is too horrible to ever permit to be realised.
xenzag, Jul 25 2020

       I think a better title of my $29.95 book would be: "How Anyone Can Make $29.95 selling a book.”   

       Appeal to the entrepreneur crowd.
doctorremulac3, Jul 25 2020

       // there would be nothing left for a 100 mile radius. //   

       Not so. There would be very little left above ground in the vicinity of Ground Zero, but there is hilly terrain to the east and north of the city; inevitably, even with a high airburst, there will be blast and flash shadows, though predicting exactly where is difficult. But any protective structure installed in the reverse slope of a hill will provide adequate protection.   

       If you increase the altitude of the burst to try and "reach out" further, the slant range between Point Zero and the target increases by simple trigonometry. There's an optimum height to maximize the effects, too low and it's contained by geography (see Nagasaki), too high and inverse-square law diminishes the more distant effects.   

       As [kdf] pointed out, increasing the yield beyond the point where the fireball becomes exoatmospheric is just a waste of Lithium Deuteride. And that's shame, it's expensive stuff.
8th of 7, Jul 25 2020

       // increasing the yield beyond the point where the fireball becomes exoatmospheric is just a waste of Lithium Deuteride. //   

       Indeed. And a nuclear power that truly cares about the product and service they provide would thoughtfully target a separate warhead on the lee side. It's the only way to be sure.
whatrock, Jul 26 2020

       Best check beforehand if their targeting policy is ISO9000 compliant ...   

       // Portland Oregon //   

       Underground ? In a tectonically unstable zone ? Smooth....   

       There are so many natural and anthropogenic threats in Cascadia that it's tricky to know which one you need to protect against most. Quake ? Tsunami ? Volcano ? Incoming nuke ?   

       You digs your bunker, and you takes your choice.
8th of 7, Jul 26 2020

       Not knowing or euphorically painfully.
wjt, Jul 26 2020

       Well, there's a verb, and two adjectives. However, an archetypal English sentence should have a subject and an object.   

       You don't necessarily need nouns, but subject - verb - object is the minimum for coherently conveying specific meaning.   

       Perhaps you could try to make the concept you're trying to express a little less clear? Making it clearer would require so little effort as to be trivial, so go for something you have to work at...
8th of 7, Jul 26 2020

       //How Will You Die In A Nuclear War// Not knowing or euphorically painfully.
wjt, Jul 26 2020

       //Not so. There would be very little left above ground in the vicinity of Ground Zero, but there is hilly terrain to the east and north of the city; inevitably, even with a high airburst, there will be blast and flash shadows, though predicting exactly where is difficult. But any protective structure installed in the reverse slope of a hill will provide adequate protection. // I think you are totally underestimating the power of equivalents to the Tzar Bomba and have not really looked at the extent of the devastation it caused. No hill will protect you from this monster even if it's many miles from the epicentre. see link for explosion film
xenzag, Jul 26 2020

       //No hill will protect you from this monster//   

       Which part of the monster? The firestorm? Direct flash damage? Immediate alpha, beta, or gamma? Blast damage to my building? Blast damage to myself? The earthquake? Fallout from the dirt? What height would it theoretically explode? What is the hill made of?   

       You can't just say "big boom kill everyone".
Voice, Jul 26 2020

       The Tzar Bomba was half the size of Russia's biggest weapon, the 100 megaton bomb! Read the details. There is no safe place anywhere within 100 miles from the detonation of these ultimate weapons.
xenzag, Jul 26 2020

       //You digs your bunker, and you takes your choice//   

       Not me. MY bunker is highly resistant to volcanos, earthquakes, tornadoes, zombies, direct hit by a strategic warhead, forest fires, immersion in water, and a hundred other scenarios. It has differing redundant supplies of air, food, water, and every other necessary (or not!) commodity, enough to last me, my staff, and my family 200 years. The only disadvantage is, it doesn't actually exist.
Voice, Jul 26 2020

       Anything outside of the actual crater has a chance to survive depending on many factors. Also the Tzar bomb wasn't detonated on the ground. The sound is dubbed in and that's not even a video of the Tzar bomb.
Voice, Jul 26 2020

       // There is no safe place anywhere within 100 miles from the detonation of these ultimate weapons. //   

       The occupants of Cheyenne Mountain would disagree with that.   

       // have not really looked at the extent of the devastation it caused. //   

       On the contrary; we have extensively studied the technology, its effects, and most importantly its limitations. The extensive atmospheric testing carried out by the US was partly to evaluate weapons design, but also to evaluate effects. Subsequently, some limited data - which is generally confirmatory - has become available from the former USSR. Such devices are only useful for city-bashing, not much more; deployment against hardened tactical targets is wasteful and ineffective.
8th of 7, Jul 26 2020

       That's right, [kd] ... humans obsess about coronavirus, and giant nukes, and other crazy stuff, and yet are doing nothing to address, let alone correct, your planet's growing slood imbalance.   

       And that asteroid's still on the way towards you. Perhaps it would be good to nudge it into a different trajectory, and sooner rather than later ? If you can't do it yourself, you could always contract to have it done professionally.   

       Reasonable terms to regular customers, all major forms of payment accepted.
8th of 7, Jul 26 2020

       //You can't just say "big boom kill everyone".//   

       Exactly! That's gist of this idea. And athough a large number of people would survive the initial blasts of an all out nuclear exchange, their worries don't stop there. You might look at a blast map (link) and see that you're not at an impact point or downwind of the fallout and think you're OK but you're not. Many of the systems that keep people alive would go away after a nuclear exchange and with them, their lives. This would explore how and when based on where you live in what I think is an interesting way.   

       There's a number someplace of how many people can survive as hunter gatherers per square mile without technology to support our currently vastly inflated numbers. That may be what we're looking at eventually.   

       Not including nuclear winter theories which I won't comment on. My second favorite scientist, Ernst Mach, pointed out that perceived data is affected by the observer's vantage point and nuclear winter scientists are political humans prone to downplay or overplay the effects of a nuclear war depending on their politics. I just go with the "Nuclear war's bad, um kay?" evaluation and leave it at that.   

       I'm a "prepper" in that I think the best way to prep for nuclear war is to get back to the table and limit the number of these things and the likelihood of their use as much as possible. The payoff to the power brokers would be money. If one takes the world economy seriously enough to take steps to protect commerce by avoiding nuclear war as much as possible, there is financial benefit to the parties that facilitate a "peace through commerce" based planet.   

       That's my two cents anyway.
doctorremulac3, Jul 26 2020

       // two cents //   

       7.8 billion inhabitants, 2 cents each. $156 million.   

       No, not nearly enough.
8th of 7, Jul 26 2020

       This isn't obsessing about anything or weighing risks, it's about analyzing system interaction.   

       Thought I had mentioned that about a thousand times.
doctorremulac3, Jul 26 2020

       //To revisit// Once was enough. Time to get back in your box.
xenzag, Jul 26 2020

       I'll throw him a bucket of fish heads. Maybe that'll keep him busy while the rest of us engage in friendly conversation.
doctorremulac3, Jul 26 2020

       //I'm a "prepper" in that I think the best way to prep for nuclear war is to get back to the table and limit the number of these things and the likelihood of their use as much as possible.//   

       I wonder what we do and don't know. My perception is that a disgruntled US Navy technician isn't driving out of a base with a Nuke-tipped cruise missile any time soon. Even then, I'd hope it was beyond even extremely capable technical people to jury-rig it for nefarious use. Ultimately the physical material is still there and could be made to work. My perception is also that there is a former Soviet warehouse somewhere that can be entered with a couple of modest bribes.   

       Anyhow, I thought of a publicly accessible list of what is where, except I'm sure everyone would lie.
bs0u0155, Jul 27 2020

       I hear ya. I think it's a miracle we haven't had a one off terror attack at this point. I can't imagine every single drunk Russian guard in charge of nuclear bomb stuff turning down a million bucks and a one way ticket to Bora Bora, but hasn't happened yet. Knock on wood.   

       I've only known one person with actual nuclear missile launch authorization, the navigator on the Nautilus on its famous trip under the North Pole (my aunt's second husband) and later the captain of various boomers. Ask him a question, any question about nukes and he'd just smile and at MOST say "I can neither confirm or deny..." etc. We were at a dinner party where my cousin was getting his Lt Colonel stripes and I had a martini or two. Every question I asked got a smile, a shrug or the standard "Confirm or deny" speech. They don't give the keys to somebody who would crack that easily.
doctorremulac3, Jul 27 2020

       No, shirley not ? What possible reason could anyone have for being untruthful ?   

       // I'd hope it was beyond even extremely capable technical people to jury-rig it for nefarious use. //   

       Unfortunately not, because security involves complexity - and ultimate reliability (the fundamental system requirement) requires extreme simplicity.   

       So in the end, it always comes down to "remove all the clever stuff, connect the blue wire to the yellow wire, and touch a PP3 battery between the red wire and the black wire"   

       If you have the thing on a bench, and time to sit there and take it to bits, then any competent electrical engineer can figure out how it works.   

       // a former Soviet warehouse somewhere that can be entered with a couple of modest bribes. //   

       Former USSR, no. Other places ? Quite possibly.   

       The one bright point is that all sophisticated weapons have a finite shelf life, and after a few years they have to be dismantled, refreshed, and put back together. Thus, while they don't exactly self-inert, their operational effectiveness degrades to the point that they are likely to fizzle, rather than go properly supercritical. That does mean that it's still a dirty bomb, with a few kilos of Plut and U sprayed around, but that's much more manageable than a mushroom cloud ...
8th of 7, Jul 27 2020

       8th. I read somewhere that early 60's warheads were stored after being flushed with N2 as an inert gas corrosion inhibitor. Now N can be converted to O & H under alpha bombardment (available from Pu). That would be outstandingly corrosive. For that reason I heard a lot of the 60's warheads wouldn't have worked. Any truth to that?
bs0u0155, Jul 27 2020


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