Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Weekend Warrior Vending Pack

Gum Shield, plasters, small book of taunts and rippable T-Shirt
  (+12, -1)(+12, -1)
(+12, -1)
  [vote for,

Every weekend, people get into fights in bars and clubs across the globe, are they catered for before arrival at the hospital? The answer is NO! In the toilets/restrooms you can easily buy condoms, vibrators and assorted sanitary products from a vending machine. Why not have a vending machine for the Urban weekend warrior. Fight in style! Contains all you need for a punch up, Gum Shield, book of taunts, some plasters, antiseptic lotion and an easily rippable T-shirt for that Hulk Hogan like show of strength prior to the fisticuffs. Reasonably priced and will appeal to the sort of idiot that only buys condoms from vending machines. Delux version also includes a condom and small book of pick up lines for girls impressed by fighting, small section also included for excuses should the pub pugilist lose.

The USP is that there is no VEND button just a big button that you punch as hard as you can, a measurment is then taken and the price adjusted accordingly. Should you wallop it like Tyson you pay the lowest amount, a lighter punch will increase the price. This introduces some sort of ranking sytem and keeps track of your target demographic.

So - Dont take it outside with out the Weekend Warrior! YAAAARRRGGGH!

S-note, Feb 01 2010

Careful with those vended taunts. You might end up owing these guys. http://www.optimalu...g/tag/yo-mama-gear/
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 02 2010]


       Buy a sixpack, get one item from the warrior pack (like a happy meal gift). Collect the whole set and be prepared! If you collect the whole set, you'll probably need it.
Riki, Feb 01 2010

       //Book of Taunts// sounds like a DnD quest item [+]
FlyingToaster, Feb 01 2010

       Does the Book also tell you what to do if a large man with a heavy Teutonic accent demands your clothes, boots and your motorcycle ?   

8th of 7, Feb 01 2010

       The book simply states ' give him your clothes, if you have a motorcycle give him that aswell' Sound advice if you ask me.
S-note, Feb 02 2010

       //In the toilets/restrooms you can easily buy condoms, vibrators//   

       Vibrators?? Are they, like, for emergency use?
Ling, Feb 02 2010

       [Ling], you put the vibrator inside the condom and wield it in the same manner that a convict wields a rock in a sock.
MikeD, Feb 02 2010

       And, It's called a... "cock in a sock"?
Ling, Feb 02 2010

       kind of cute so +, but a REAL warrior would already be prepared!!
xandram, Feb 02 2010

       That's why they're called "weekend" warriors, [xan].   

       Please, DO try to keep up ... <sigh>
8th of 7, Feb 02 2010


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