Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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WiFi Voodoo Doll

Take your revenge on the evil software, not the innocent machine
  [vote for,

Software is one of the most frustrating things on Dog's green Earth. If a door annoys you, you can slam it. If the TV is proving recalcitrant, you can drop it out of the window. But when software refuses to do your bidding, what revenge can you take? It's hardly fair to throw the computer out the window because Microflot Word refuses to use your email database because you wrote everything in blue. That's not the computer's fault, after all - it works fine with everything else. It's the crappy software. You could burn the CD it came on, I suppose - but again, that's not actually getting at the software, is it? That's more like visiting the sins of the children on the parent. Sometimes I do find myself hoping that some evil program will crash - I know it'll cause me problems, but boy, I'd sure feel better knowing it died in pain.

What is needed (I reckon) is a WiFi Voodoo Doll. This would be connected up so that every time a program refuses to do something, or accidentally deletes MyNovel.txt, you can visit retribution on it. Twist an arm on the doll, and a menu disappears - whack it on the head, and a little window should pop up and say 'Ow!'. Dunk the doll in coffee, and the evil program would crash, messily, and need to be reinstalled. Users who found particular programs were a problem could have specialized dolls - a big blue upholstered 'X' for Excel, perhaps.

Fundamentally, what I need is a physical manifestation of the ethereal so I can bash it and feel better.

moomintroll, Mar 31 2006

Almost the exact opposite http://www.giftmani...item.html?theId=951
Courtesy of [Detly] and [bibimap] [moomintroll, Mar 31 2006]

[po] and her photocopier voodoo doll. jammed_20photocopier_20voodoo_20dolls
For when other technologies piss you off. [hidden truths, Mar 31 2006]


       I just stabbed my voodoo croissant. It seemed to work.
hidden truths, Mar 31 2006

       I think Bill Gates spends his evenings playing with one of these, linked to every Windows pc in the planet. My Macintosh is always happy - and so am I. + for anything that trashes Microsoft. I'd go further and make it torture the whole operating system. Worth buying one just to watch it get diseased and die slowly, its dismal operating system rusting, buckling and crumbling like the gantries on the abandoned blast furnaces of Ohio. Suitably clever and funny.
xenzag, Mar 31 2006

       miasere - I have your five missing ' ' ' ' ' s. You can drop them in anytime you feel like correcting your sentences.
xenzag, Mar 31 2006

       play nicely, children...
moomintroll, Mar 31 2006


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