Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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X-ray high-voltage invisible umbrella

Conductive column of charged air repels rain outwards
  (+19, -4)(+19, -4)
(+19, -4)
  [vote for,

Conventional umbrellas are so, well, *passive.*

I don my white lab coat, thick rubber gloves, and welding goggles, and then envision an IMPROVED umbrella yes. First we get some x-ray tubes yes. Not any ordinary tubes, but KILOWATT x-ray tubes yesssss. Build an ENTIRE ARRAY of KILOWATT-CAPABLE x-ray tubes... and aim them skywards to CHALLENGE THE VERY GODS!!! To this array we attach a Tesla coil, a REALLY HUGE TESLA COIL PUTTING OUT FRACTIONAL TERAVOLTS, so the ENTIRE tube-array becomes CHARGED to ELEVATED POTENTIAL. Next we switch the x-ray tubes on and off at ENORMOUS FREQUENCY, PERFECTLY SYNCHRONICSED with the AC output of the Tesla coil. On the first half-cycle the x-ray beam will CREATE A HUGE VERTICAL COLUMN OF CONDUCTIVE AIR AND RAIN, and the Tesla coil will INSTANTLY CHARGE this conductor to A FEW MILLIONS VOLTS WITH RESPECT TO THE POTENTIAL OF THE EARTH, AND ON THE SECOND HALF OF A CYCLE SAID ARRAY OF X-RAY TUBES WILL SWITCH OFF, CAUSING THE ENTIRE COLUMN OF CHARGED AIR AND RAIN TO AGAIN BECOME INSULATING AND SO TO SELF-REPEL RADIALLY OUTWARDS WHILE INDUCING A TOROIDIAL VORTEX OF DRY AIR TO ROTATE SLOWLY BENEATH THE ENORMOUS INVISIBLE THIN CANOPY OF OUTWARDS-FLEEING ELECTRICIZED AIR AND RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you LAUGHED when you heard that Tesla coils could be used to modify Earth's weather? Once this device has reached SUFFICIENT PERFECTION, I figure I can keep Seattle selectively dry as desired, while giving Everett, Bellevue, and Renton a good soaking. And with the profits yes I can FINALLY start BUILDING my ENORMOUS TUNNEL-WARREN RESEARCH BASE WITHIN MY MOBILE ATOM-POWERED ARTIFICIAL PYKCRETE ISLAND NATION yes.

wbeaty, Oct 24 2006

Electrobrella http://www.worth100...is.asp?entry=274167
Here's one I made earlier... [wagster, Oct 27 2006]

Giant floating pykcrete island Eternal_20Iceberg
Eternal iceberg is a floating ski resort [wbeaty, Oct 28 2006]

Lex Luthor's truck-mounted Kryptonite death beam http://amasci.com/luthor/
Mount an entire large tesla coil on altazimuth gun emplacement. Use a high-powered squirt gun to give lines of lightning [wbeaty, Oct 28 2006]


       oh. my. god.   

       Bun for actually managing to get the phrase CHALLENGE THE VERY GODS into an idea.
Custardguts, Oct 24 2006

DenholmRicshaw, Oct 24 2006

       bone for being too loud - walk quietly, but carry a big stick. (Telsa coils are the line of least resistance for any idea)
xenzag, Oct 24 2006


       Made me laugh, yesss.   

       And to think that they called you mad.
bungston, Oct 25 2006

       Give me a power supply of sufficiently elevated voltage, and a low-impedance ground connection on which to place it, and I shall dry the Earth.
wbeaty, Oct 25 2006

       I do not think it would be invisible.
bungston, Oct 25 2006

       :) [+]
pertinax, Oct 25 2006

       I'll have a red one, please.
methinksnot, Oct 25 2006

       Sounds better than a big black mat[+]
skinflaps, Oct 25 2006

       //Bun for actually managing to get the phrase CHALLENGE THE VERY GODS into an idea.//   

       What's the big deal? I say that all the time.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Oct 25 2006

       You probably mean out loud, don't you?
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Oct 25 2006

       Bun for creativity, but wouldn't a flamethrower pointed skyward also be effective? Much more dramatic if want the whole "Holy Spirit" thing above you.
phreed, Oct 25 2006

       > I do not think it would be invisible.   

       The glowing purple vertical "ray" and the occasional 50-mile-tall ionosphere-shorting lightning bolts ...mere trifles beneath our notice. Perhaps we will endeavor to trigger such phenomena as periodic repetitive transients for use as percussion background during outdoor rock concerts.
wbeaty, Oct 25 2006

       > Telsa coils are the line of least resistance   

       xenzag misses the point that this is a realworld engineering design. If one wishes to proceed between idea to ELECTROSTATICALLY DEFLECT RAIN FROM AN ENTIRE CITY ----> PROFIT!!, an xray-rectified Tesla Coil is the obvious choice. Other business plans resemble that of the Underwear Gnomes. Never use a fifteen foot mercury-vapor thyratron where a 2N2222 will suffice (and vice versa.) Disagree? Then let us all see the elegant and vastly-improved version you believe exists.   

       PS Projects are not nearly as satisfying if they don't involve the erection of a gigantic electrically-throbbing tower and the manipulation of my enormous tslacoils. See also a similar device at http://amasci.com/luthor/
wbeaty, Oct 26 2006

       From this post, I could assume that you are one Caps Lock key short of a keyboard.
Ling, Oct 27 2006

       [Ling] //From this post, I could assume that you are one Caps Lock key short of a keyboard.// No. Everyone knows that you must SHOUT when challenging the gods.
MoreCowbell, Oct 27 2006

       Why? Are they hard of hearing?
methinksnot, Oct 27 2006

       Far too shouty and with too much unscientific handwaving for me. [-]
st3f, Oct 27 2006

       I like a bit of shouting, especially if executed in conjunction with a bit of unscientific handwaving. (+)
jtp, Oct 27 2006

       The gods, and anyone flying overhead or leaning out a 2nd story balcony are not amused.... Oh what the heck, bun anyway.
James Newton, Oct 27 2006

       "Bobby, how many times do I have to tell you it's bad luck to turn on your umbrella insi-AUGH! I'M MELTING!"   

       Should I start replacing my windows with lead-impregnated radiology glass now, or do you need additional funding before you make the protptype?
ye_river_xiv, Oct 27 2006

       One finds that whenever one wears a white lab coat and welding goggles at the same time, one's personality slowly changes. Writings appear in the form of ALL CAPS LUNATIC RANTING. 3RD-PERSON REFERENCES ARE ADOPTED, AND CHALLENGES TO THE GODS ARE ISSUED. PERHAPS the costume in combination with advancing state of personal baldness influences the position of the assemblege point to change and adopt that of Tulpa social icons: fictional practioners of Nazi super-science. Maybe the wearing of masks urges one to act the character depicted. Maybe one begins to "channel" N. Tesla or perhaps Lex Luthor.   

       Or perhaps it's just that the straps of my improperly-worn welding goggles cover my ears, and since I can't hear my own voice, I feel the strong urge to type louder.
wbeaty, Oct 28 2006


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