It's generally known that zombies walk with their arms
This is unfortunate for the zombie, since it makes him
her) conspicuous, and is also perceived as a threat by
passers-by, as if the zombie were reaching out for them.
A zombie with his (or her) arms by his (or her)
contrast, is just another friend waiting to be met*.
However, it is pretty clear that zombies have balance
issues, and that the arm-extension is basically to stop
them falling over backwards.
It's not their fault.
Zombie gait woes begone!
Maxco. is pleased to announce its range of zombie
counterbalance weight belts and drinks
Should you opt, post-mortem, for one of our discreet
weighted belts, even your nearest and dearest will not
realize you are a zombie. The lightweight carbon-fibre
rear of the belt is seamlessly joined to a lead-rich front
half and a heavy tungsten buckle. Arms-by-your-side
walking has never been easier!
For the female zombie in your life, whose post-mortem
wardrobe may not suit a belt, we proudly offer the
Depleted Uranium Drinks Tray, complete with a realistic
filled martini glass crafted from the finest polykarbonate
and krystal-klear silikone rubber. When held in the
way with a single hand, the DUDT provides that
counterbalance which you can normally get only from
awkward and embarrassing both-arms-out gait. Be the
postest hostess with the mostest!
Be the first of the undead in your apocalypse to try these
buy now while shops last!
(*obviously, a zombie with someone else's arms by his, or
her, side is more of a problem.)