Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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'Paintball' Security System

Why kill the thief, when embaressing him is funnier?
  (+2, -4)
(+2, -4)
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You're a thief. After scoping a bank out for 3 months, you have a "fool proof" plan. You break into the bank after it has closed and all employees are gone home. Just as you set off the hidden motion sensor (mistake number one), multiple 'guns drop down from the ceiling tiles. With infrared targeting, smoke fills the room and you are suddenly pelted repeatedly with paintballs, which are filled with a unique dye that glows under a blacklight and stains your skin purple. If you do not heed the warnings of the security system telling you to reamain immobilized on the floor (mistake number two), after 20 seconds of pelting from the "harmless" paintballs, exploding balls are then injected into the 'guns barrels, causing you to go sprawling to the floor (yes... these would hurt a bit, and they do exist. Special effects technicians use them in movies to simulate bullets hitting walls. Kinda like Snap Pops, only a bit more dangerous...). An alarm would have been triggered, causing the police to surround the building. After punching in the password that changes daily, the police could enter, and arrest you. Fool proof plan, eh? Busted.
Salty Ham, Jan 12 2002

(?) Spray on ID http://www.smartwater.com/instant.htm
Kinda like a cat marking teritory? [tobythepig, Jan 13 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       Except that when the smoke bombs go off the thieves start shooting at random and everyone in the bank dies...
phoenix, Jan 12 2002

       [PeterSealy] Well, mine is a SECURITY SYSTEM, not a shopkeeper. Not baked, completely original. Also, [phoenix], notice that I cleverly put in the phrase //break into a bank//, not rob a bank. This would tell people who have brains that no one else is in the bank, and closed for the night. Since I figured people who had intelligence were to read this, I left the part about it being closed and at night out. However, proved wrong by your limited intelligence, I will edit it to make it easier for stupid people like you to read.
Salty Ham, Jan 12 2002

       hahahahaha he is so funny.... off to get some dry underclothes
po, Jan 12 2002

       Hurray, another n00b.
StarChaser, Jan 12 2002

       Star, hate to criticise but I wish you would indicate who your rapier wit is aimed at. people might think you meant me.
po, Jan 12 2002

       Seemed it'd be fairly obvious to me, you didn't post a snotty 'Well MY idea is OBVIOUSLY much better than your feeble real world thing and you're all stupid!'.
StarChaser, Jan 12 2002

       sorry over sensitive today.
po, Jan 12 2002

       Let's pretend none of these bad things happens to the bank robber. How long will it take for him to rob the bank after he has broken in? I assume he broke in for a reason.
thumbwax, Jan 12 2002

       Why not just spray him with "Smart water". Its a proven product and used in the UK exactly for that reason......
Pretoria, Jan 13 2002

       [StarChaser] - Yes, I may be new to the bakery, but that doesn't make me any stupider than the rest of the halfbakers. You were once new, as was the over sensitive [po]. But defending my idea is not stupid, but smart. [phoenix] and [PeterSealy] simply have trouble reading, as do you with your quote. I in no way said that my idea was no better than any one elses, only stated the mere fact that mine was an idea for a security system, not some store clerk defending his Moto-Mart from a thug. And [thumbwax], what the hell are you talking about? It's an automated system, built with infrared sensors and motion sensors. How will these //bad things// not happen??? READ before posting comments. [Pretoria], that is a good idea to put "Smart Water" in the paintballs... although it would work the same way as any other indicator. Thank you for an actual intelligent comment.
Salty Ham, Jan 13 2002

       [SH] It's not the defending of your idea -- it's the way you went about it.   

       Making counterpoints is intelligent behavior. Resorting to unprovoked namecalling is the resort of those that cannot muster the wit to defend their ideas without it.
mwburden, Jan 13 2002

       I tried to oversimplify - allow me to oversimplify further with an addendum to question: The robber hates crowds and prefers to rob banks in the dark, alone. He arrived at bank with his bank-robber kit, prepared for motion detectors and cameras and motion sensors, but not a paintball marker. It didn't matter anyway, because the last person to leave heard about some Kodak cameras being sold at 1/3 the normal price and in the excitement - left all the gizmos off... (save for the Safe, which houses contents behind dual-key lock, to which bank robber does not possess aforementioned keys) and therefore no mistake #1 or #2 or #3 happened to the bank robber. Quite simply: It Is The Bank Robbers Lucky Day - How Long Will It Take For Mr. Lucky To Rob The Bank Without Waking The Dead?
thumbwax, Jan 13 2002

       Approximately 3 minutes and 32 seconds. This includes the time taken to eat a salami sandwich before leaving the bank (sorry, thank you for further explaining the question).
Salty Ham, Jan 13 2002

       Salami Sandwich or no, how did he complete the task in approximately 3 minutes and 32 seconds? Please detail.
thumbwax, Jan 13 2002

       Salty Ham: A newbie is not a n00b. A newbie is someone new. A n00b is someone new who, when they've said something that people challenge starts screaming and flinging poo like a colobus monkey.   

       If you'd left out 'mine is a SECURITY SYSTEM' , 'notice that I cleverly', 'this would tell people who have brains', 'since I figured people who had intelligence', 'proved wrong by your limited intelligence', and 'make it easier for stupid people like you to read'...well, your whole annotation would have disappeared, I guess.   

       The point being that rather than a reasoned defence, you started screeching and flinging poo. Thus, you are a n00b. You wander in and start insulting people and wonder why nobody likes you. The rest of us don't start off insulting people, then insult them more when they don't like our ideas, so yes, that does make you 'stupider than the rest of the halfbakers'.   

       Instead of 'What the hell are you talking about?' and 'READ before posting comments', try 'What do you mean?', and lose the 'I'm cooler than you are and you're all stupid' attitude.
StarChaser, Jan 13 2002

       Touché, SC
bristolz, Jan 13 2002


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