Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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a lump of coal at midnight

a pregnancy cravings delivery service
  (+20, -1)(+20, -1)
(+20, -1)
  [vote for,

this service completely dispenses with the necessity of sending one’s other half out at midnight on a fools’ errand for a jar of pickled eggs and a dozen pots of banana flavoured yoghurt; risking his damaged ego in the process when he fails miserably at his quest and the bitter disappointment of the lady in question.

nutritionists and doctors are undecided about what exactly is occurring that triggers these urges for strange cuisine.

the hormone changes that women experience appear to have a powerful impact on taste and smell; some food aversions are felt just as strongly, if not more so. in a survey that I read recently, it appears that almost half of the cravings are for sweet food; I’m guessing that this is to replenish energy supplies. about a third of women questioned craved salty foods perhaps indicating an imbalance of sodium and so on. it does seem that the body is extremely artful in letting us know what we need in all states of health not just pregnancy but it is just more apparent in these very special nine months.

o.k. then, this delivery service would be stocked to the gills with every imaginable food that a pregnantee has ever demanded and more.

it will be necessary to be able to provide at short notice such items as coal, dirt, plaster, coffee grounds, certain flavours of toothpaste, soap, detergent etc.

just telephone your order and within 30 minutes, it is brought to your front door, possibly by a biker dressed as a stork carrying a cotton bundle on a stick – but now, I am just getting whimsical.

po, Jun 28 2005

Related Pregnant_20Woman_27s_20Value-Meal
shameless promotion [RayfordSteele, Jun 30 2005]


       I think the costume is essential. Preganant women love that shit!
daseva, Jun 28 2005

       //this delivery service would be stocked to the gills with every imaginable food that a pregnantee has ever demanded and more.//   

       I dread to think.
skinflaps, Jun 28 2005

       Surely this service could be combined with a service for people who like to smoke m.. er.. people who may, for whatever reason, get the munchies at 2am. I think the two services overlap in terms of demand times, and the variety and oddness of demands.
Those type of people would also get an immense amount of enjoyment out of seeing the scooter-dude dressed as a 6' stork.....
Minimal, Jun 28 2005

       //but now, I am just getting whimsical//   

       No, it's been a while.   

       Anyway, great idea. Anything to save the S.O. another trip out of bed, and fully half the time, by the time the food is obtained, the craving has passed, in my experience. Make it a subscription service, with a set fee for all you can desire, so there are no arguments or hesitation over the price in the wee hours when judgement is fuzzy.   

       "You spent $35 for a jar of pickles?"   

       'You asked for them."   

       "But you should have know that was a ridiculous price."   

       "But you were happy to have them last night."   

       "I can't believe what an idiot you are. You should have known. And I expect you to raise my kids? I am this close to walking out right now and saving myself years or regret."   

       (or other similar hormone induced irrational ranting)
oxen crossing, Jun 28 2005

       Po! What has become of your capitalisation?
Basepair, Jun 28 2005

       Nutrition at night, a good idea. +
sartep, Jun 28 2005

       The name of the service could be "Pica-peck"?
Ling, Jun 29 2005

       or Crava Sava.
Minimal, Jun 29 2005

       sava means corpse? oh dear...   

       pica-peck is cute
po, Jun 29 2005

       wow, [Basepair] I never noticed before (despite being told off for using Po, instead of po) - but a random sample of po's ideas shows that NONE of them have any capitalisation at all! I feel such a dolt for not noticing before, soz [po]
zen_tom, Jun 29 2005

       ickle hug <zen> it's just a po thing...
po, Jun 29 2005

       You're pregnant?!
DrCurry, Jun 30 2005

       /coffee grounds/   

       Suitable for making the old, pedestrian 'one cup', or the new unbelievably cool stuff for making the mind-blowing "two cups of coffee" phenomenum/drink sweeping the HB world?
not_only_but_also, Jun 30 2005

       DC, hardly! honey bun.   

       P, sorry about that...
po, Jun 30 2005

       except i, what's wrong with little i?   

       ...I thought about making some tongue twister about "po" and "pica-peck" based on "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper"....
Ling, Jun 30 2005

       ...probably indicates a huge ego or something.
po, Jun 30 2005

       [po] is objective. Delivery services deliver what you could arguably get for yourself with a minimum of effort (pizza - an example) (bag of salt for your water softener - second example). If a major chain, e.g., Domino's Pizza, were to fashion its marketing to impulsive purchasers, a creative staff might endear itself to consumers in ways unforseen. Husbands, let's say, who get nailed by an icy stare and "you ordered PIZZA - with CHEESE!? What a stupid ..." stand to hear instead "Oh .. my god. A Dove™ bar. How did you know ...". +
reensure, Jun 30 2005

       You know how they say that men think they rule the world but its really the women who control them? Well, if women ruled ther world it'd really be the Dove Bars. Which, seeing as 'rule' obeys the transitive property of equality, I guess the Dove Bars already do rule the world. Now, who rules the Dove Bars?
daseva, Jun 30 2005

       Bars of soap rule the world?
Zimmy, Jun 30 2005

       Dove chocolate.
daseva, Jun 30 2005

       Three of us are having a baby in one month. Don't ask. It's not mine, I'm the financer.
mensmaximus, Jun 30 2005

       Interesting thing, soap. Put a bar underneath your bedsheet and banish your leg cramps. Congratulations, [mensmaximus].
reensure, Jun 30 2005

       someone please ask mens, is he a surrogate?
po, Jun 30 2005

       Make that four. Another girl due in August.
Ling, Jul 01 2005

       Hope he's the kind who goes companion shopping when the spouses are on a sympathy binge.
reensure, Jul 01 2005

       If the service doesn't have the required item, does the driver have to come round and receive the lash of the tongue, saving the s.o. from the inevitable hormonally charged verbal assault?
wagster, Jul 01 2005

       //If the service doesn't have the required item// the service, as I imagine it, will pride itself in having if not *the* foodstuff then something very similar.   

       sorry - tidying up, went a little pear shaped.
po, Jul 03 2005

       <blink> What went pear-shaped? Why are you sorry? What....
wagster, Jul 03 2005

       i thought this idea was about nocturnal defecation.
benfrost, Jul 04 2005

       You would.
blissmiss, Jul 04 2005

       And here I thought this idea was about Santa Claus and his naughty list.   

       Reading all this stuff has made me kind of glad I'm uncle to 13 and father to none. Enjoy the fun of little ones with none of the responsibilities.   

       I suggest the name "Hog Wild". "Hog" because the deliveries will be done by motorcycle, and "Wild" for the selection of foods they will bring.
Canuck, Jul 05 2005

       Will they be able to provide me with my much needed supply of black licorice, pork rinds, and Dr pepper with midori in it?
ye_river_xiv, Jul 04 2006

       [ye_river_xiv], you with child? You really should be more careful of what you eat if you are. I would hate to think you might choke on some pork rinds when you have a bun in the oven. Congrats, I hope!
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jul 04 2006


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