Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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anti-tailgating device

laser device triggers demeaning messages & flings mud
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
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i just got my first car.

now that i'm driving everyday, i'm absolutely flabbergasted at the various levels of incompetence/ignorance that drivers display.

i'd like to have a laser trigger that only goes off at speeds better than say 60km/h. if the guy behind me gets too close, let's say within 30ft, then a siren goes off on my car and a big sign flashes in my rear window, "THE GUY BEHIND ME IS AN ARSEHOLE."

if he or she gets within 10 ft, then my car should automatically fling out this mudlike substance that looks like birdpoop, forcing the bugger to back off and seek shelter at a car wash.

ta bume. any thoughts?

pixelswisher, May 03 2001

Baked http://www.nytimes....ircuits/27BUSS.html
Without the demeaning messages and/or mud flinging. [DrCurry, Jun 28 2002]

Aviation smoke oil http://aviationsmok...Ni-PzgaAs5lEALw_wcB
Artistic rather than obscurative, though. [8th of 7, Sep 11 2020]

I thought water would be fine. Another_20Anti-tailgating_20Device
Have the length of the stream be longer as the speed increases. [doctorremulac3, Sep 11 2020]

M3 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M3_Stuart
Rear mounted air cooled powerplant; tailgate at your own risk... [8th of 7, Sep 11 2020]

Reaction times https://hwbot.org/b...requency/halloffame
No fear, 500mm gapped, car trains a future possibility [wjt, Sep 13 2020]


       I personally like the idea of a personal oil slick like that used in early Bond movies. Of course, this doesn't mean that the offending tailgaiter isn't going to slam into you the very second they lose control to their car.   

       A tire puncture strip that can unroll from behind the car would certainly be a deterent against other drivers getting too close.   

       The problem with any type of sign would be that is could either inflame the other drivers to want to smash into your car, or to see how close they needed to get to your car before the sign dispalyed itself.   

       When I was a kid growing up in New Hampshire (different from Old Hampshire) the governor of the state had a sign put up on an overpass that displayed the oncoming car's speed and flashed a warning if they were going too fast. However, this just made drivers see how fast they could get going before the reached the sign. It was not a deterent.
RobGraham, May 03 2001

       Castor Oil and WD40 mised in equal quantity in exhaust. The resulting smoke belched forth coats whatever it lands on with a dark lacquer. Horrible and not recommended for use in/on/around your own vehicle. Pretty funny to do to someone else though. You better really hate them.
thumbwax, May 03 2001

       And once again, 87% of drivers are 'above average', it's the other guy who's the idiot.
angel, May 03 2001

       Are you very pretty? Or your car is? What I do is to pull over, slip into a garage space, or whatever, & the nuisance driver soon passes.
gz, May 03 2001

       Whenever someone tailgates me, I slow down until they try to pass. Then I shoot them.
AfroAssault, May 04 2001

       Afro, that's sort of baked in David Lynch's masterpiece "Lost Highway"
globaltourniquet, May 04 2001

       I have to agree with Afro. Except I generally speed up as they get beside me(no shooting, it's hard to aim right when you're speeding). Before I do this I always try "brake checking" (ie mash brakes enough to lurch then gun it if they are sane they get the idea and back off in fear of eating your bumper) If this doesn't wrok just lock your brakes and hope they have insurance. If they are uninsured then shoot them Simple really.
Leadfoot, May 07 2001

       How about a huge boxing glove or a hammer that is compacted into the back of your car which automatically springs out and mashes the hell of the front of the tailgaters vehicle. Mind you, it could backfire; 'Honestly officer, the company that sold me the device ensured me that it had a built-in police car sensor'.
Ivy, May 08 2001

       // Castor Oil and WD40 misted in equal quantity in exhaust. //   

       I am almost afraid to ask how this was discovered, where it was tested and how many vehicles have been subsequently preserved in lacquer.   

       This would be a great mod for the truck. Must get busy...
whatrock, Sep 11 2020

       Castor oil is expensive, though; a mix of regular vegetable oil - used oil actually works better, though put it through a strainer first - blended with a small amount of JP-1 gives pretty good results.   

       Or you can buy the proper stuff, which comes in pretty colours. <link>
8th of 7, Sep 11 2020

       For the "24 Hours of Lemons" amateur race, cars considered to be tailgating are sometimes fitted with a metal spike attached to a plate on the front bumper, such that bumping the car in front of them would puncture their (the tailgater's) radiator.
sninctown, Sep 11 2020

       That would put a premium on vehicles such as the Porsche 911, and similar air-cooled rear engine designs... like the Stuart <link>
8th of 7, Sep 11 2020

       Won't tech make your fears moot?
wjt, Sep 13 2020


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