Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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cuss patch

a friendly little reminder to modify your behaviour
  (+4, -8)
(+4, -8)
  [vote for,

Ok. Now. If you are smoking what do they give you. A smoking patch? Exactly.

But what if you cuss? Here friends is the invention of this young century. A CUSS PATCH!!!!

Don't let this happen to you...

"Um... Mr Smith? We have to talk. We aren't angry, but we are concerned about your constant and inappropriate cussing. Especially around the new employees. We think it gives the wrong impression."

They give him a CUSS PATCH. and next week it's...

"Oh Hello Nigel!!! We are so glad you don't cuss any more. Now you can spend all the time you want with the new hires. In fact, we are giving you a promotion and a raise!!!!!"

Also comes in different flavors... FLIRT PATCH, GOSSIP PATCH, RUDE PATCH, DON'T INTERRRUPT ME PATCH, and coming soon to a chemist near you... (help me out)

r_kreher, May 07 2008


       Does the recipe include chopped onions? (Think bad pun, italian dishes, etc.)
daseva, May 07 2008

       Cabbage patch?   

       Btw, what magic substance will the patch release that will help you stop cursing?
DrCurry, May 07 2008

       Three parts whimsy two parts frivolity. It's just a fun thing. Something to keep around the office to help the dreary day go by. Like... "Honey keep your eyes off that man!! He's MARRIED!! Here. Let me give you a FLIRT PATCH!!"
r_kreher, May 07 2008

       Thinking about this: cussin' is almost entirely a psychological phenomenon (whereas smoking, drinking, etc. have large physical components); you'd have to isolate the electrical activity in the brain associated with a cuss and sublimate it into something else.
FlyingToaster, May 07 2008

       [marked-for-deletion] magic.   

       Your idea does not exclude BAD IDEA PATCH, which we provide in the form of piscatorial intention.
4whom, May 07 2008

r_kreher, May 07 2008

       I was somewhat serious about this idea. It is meant to be a cute and harmless little curio, something one office worker might buy for another, for a birthday or something. Priced well under $5.   

       I have a drawer full of keychains, paperweights, mugs, cards, etc. I would have rather received a very cleverly designed little box of "Patches" that I could pass out at appropriate times.   

       They certainly aren't being well-received here at the bakery!!! So I will back-burner this underpriviliged stepchild of an idea till I have a chance to mull it over a good stiff drink or two.
r_kreher, May 07 2008

       ah, so a "(not really a) joke" patch... like a "round tuit" for other people.   

       //and coming soon to a chemist near you... (help me out)// hypochondriac patch, duh.
FlyingToaster, May 07 2008

       I guess I can see the sentiment:
Give someone a reminder to not do the annoying thing they always do.
I thought that badges in general and "Don't be a C**T" T-shirts in particular were readily available.
gnomethang, May 07 2008

       (-) There's nothing wrong with cursing.   

       [admin: since the poster intends this as a novelty, not as an actual curative, the mfd tag doesn't really apply.]
jutta, May 07 2008

       jeez. I've been thinking about this for an embarassingly long period of time. Months. One sunny afternoon here with you guys and I am lightyears ahead. You are all world class. Can I offer you a... uh..... patch? thanx!!! really.
r_kreher, May 07 2008

       sp: behind
gnomethang, May 07 2008

       i like this. one way to bake it would be with a modern speech recognition software package-- some are quite accurate-- and something to beep loudly every time a cuss is identified. This would only have the minor downside of being software rather than a patch.   

       If only the beep could be projected back in time to when the cuss was said...
sninctown, May 07 2008

       okay... okay.... i'm listening... instead of a static and uneventful patch, we're thinking.... maybe blinking lights, small computer chips... recording and/or playback equipment? I like it. I LOVE it!!! It will change the price structure a bit.. but hey. nothing is written in stone!!
r_kreher, May 08 2008

       [+] I wish I had one of these before losing some of my better jobs in the past.
Jscotty, May 08 2008

       Maybe it releases some kind of endorphin trip chemistry? Or the active ingredient in marijuana?
RayfordSteele, Apr 19 2016


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