Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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fart metrics computing

wearable personalized metrics to count my farts
  (+4, -2)
(+4, -2)
  [vote for,

wearable computing is ALL the rage.

billions have been spent investing in wrist bands that count your steps, on chest bands that count your heart beat, and on all other sorts of completely idiottic consumerist devices that the rest of the world outside the self congratulatory tech crowds of the united states would care about.

but what about farting? a lot of people legitimately would like to know how gassy they are. they also would like to know if their farts are offending people with offensive smells. farts also reflect one's personal health and so there must be some silicon valley model of monetizing this metric for profit.

it's not always readily apparent , so how about a personal metric that counts the number and measures the intensity of my farts. it can be mounted on a belt clip just above my ass crack.

teslaberry, Jan 21 2014

how will we measure cow farts? http://arstechnica....-methane-emissions/
laugh all you want but the u.s. gov is now considering regulating cow farts. and burps. you can't make this gas up. [teslaberry, Apr 01 2014]

Bluetooth Underpants Bluetooth_20Underpants
Possibly an additional function for these. [st3f, Nov 12 2016]


       principium individuationis?
pertinax, Jan 21 2014

       [-] because the only capitals were in the wrong place.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 21 2014

       //Excellent idea, which I endorse.   

       However, I am prompted to enquire whether your shift key is inoperative, or whether it's just an affectation. — MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 14 2014//   

       //Ah yes, that cute waste.   

       Welcome. There is no charge for using capital letters on this site. — MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 09 2014//   

       I too must confess to being distracted by this punctuation anarchy. I will hold my bone but may be forced to say harrumph should the problem not be rectified.   

       That being said, I could see bunning this as something that would fit with the frat life style. You could even get competitions going.
doctorremulac3, Jan 21 2014

       Looks like the vjam brought about all kinds of bodily fluids and gases. I'm waiting for one with mucus.
xkuntay, Jan 21 2014

       You could hang an abacus over your ass crack and then it could double as a seat.
xandram, Jan 22 2014

       //but may be forced to say harrumph should the problem not be rectified. //   

       Heaven forfend ... that way lies the downward spiral to saying "tut, tut" accompanied by looking down and shaking the head slowly.
8th of 7, Jan 22 2014

       There's only one person here who is licensed to eschew capitals, and I'm not even completely comfortable with that.   

       On the other hand, [slab] doesn't seem to read her ideas after posting, so perhaps she hasn't noticed that her shift key is broken.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 22 2014

       Add a miniature, form-fitting O2 sensor and catalytic converter to scrub your hydrocarbon emissions and mitigate excessive NOX levels. But needs a feedback (er, feedbag) circuit to regulate said individual's fuel intake to avoid "running rich".
nickers427, Jan 26 2014

       this almost sounds like a joke but the u.s. is considering regulating cow farts.   

       yea. cow farts.
teslaberry, Apr 01 2014

       Cows farts are methane. Cars can run on methanol.   

       Are human farts methanal?   

       Puns & buns aside, I do want to have another pass at improving this idea.   

       Let's make the device run off the power generated by the harvested energy-rich gas.   

       As for capitalization, some folks here are case-over sensitive. I collaborate with non English speakers (including teenagers who were born in the USA) & their ideas & hard work compensate for their bad grammar. I know compilers that are less case sensitive than these folks.
sophocles, Apr 03 2014

       //Are human farts methanal? //   

       I hope not. Methanal is also known as formaldehyde. If you find yourself farting it, check with your doctor in case you have been embalmed.   

       As for capitalization: the rules of spelling and punctuation are entirely arbitrary, which is precisely why it is important that people use the same set of rules.   

       Most people have learned to read text in a certain way, and every deviation from that way requires just a tiny, teeny bit of extra processing, which is distracting and irritating if it happens all the time. It's like running your hand over silk, and encountering the odd grain of sand.   

       When writing follows the rules, the writing becomes invisible and you can concentrate on the content. When somebody - either as an affectation or through lack of knowledge - does not follow the rules, you have to pay attention to the writing instead of the content.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 12 2016


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