h a l f b a k e r y
The embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Stick on some kind of nutrient sac to the stem of recently picked fruit so that they
continue to ripen as if they were still on the tree. I'm pretty sick of unripe
[Voice, May 07 2014]
||Go one better: Pick totally under-ripe fruit and grow it
to full ripeness on artificial limbs in shipping and stores
encouraging the tree to start more under-ripe fruit in
the same growing season.
Where the hormones, there moan I.
||Late night infomercial on television:
||" But that's not all when you purchase both the lighting and atmospheric control packages we'll include at no additional charge a years supply of nutrient stock tailored specifically for the fruits and vegetables of your choice (sotto voce) some limitations may apply based on shipping regulations in your state and/or city not recommended for persons with allergies to fruits nuts or any other plant substances without the approval of a physician state and federal regulations apply regarding prohibited plants this offer available for a limited time only "