Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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hands free smoking

a new revolutionary smoking "helper" for the unfortunate or the extreamly elderly
  (+2, -6)
(+2, -6)
  [vote for,

you ever have one of those days when you got tierd of having to pick up a cig, light it, then repeatedly bring it to ur mouth to smoke it? or just to old to exspend teh energy? well have i got an idea for you!

my invention came to me when i was online and tryng to smoke a cig at the same time. its pretty damn hard to type with a cig in your hand!

all you ahve to do is once a week put a cartons worth of cigs into its handy holder, (im still working on a way to keep them from going stale) and an automated arm will pick them up, light them and then bring it to a setable place near your mouth, all you have to do is smoke! the arm will then, at the push of a simple button, put the cig out for you! its a simple tabletop desigh perfect for a computer desk or nursing home bedside table.

recomened for the extremly old or lazy ass mofos

ravenofthenight, Apr 07 2002

Nasal Cigarette Holders http://www.halfbake...cigarette_20holders
Doesn't take them out of the pack or light them for you, though. [hob, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]


       If you want to smoke at the computer, just dangle the fag from your mouth adopting a Bob Mitchum style countenance. Or employ a small Filipino boy to stand at your side, holding the cigarette while you are busy chatting to people who have numbers in their names.
calum, Apr 07 2002

       And punctuation. And mathematical operators. And fractions. And cyrillic characters.
[ sctld ], Apr 07 2002

       <wonders how many "extremely old" smokers there are>
bristolz, Apr 07 2002

       As a smoker, I have to fishbone any idea that promotes smoking.
phoenix, Apr 07 2002

       [obligatory mumble grumble... ]
waugsqueke, Apr 08 2002

       no joke learn how to proofread
d3c3ptic0n, Jul 01 2003

       Do you get a little remote control with it that has three buttons marked Puff, Snuff, and Ash? That's cute.
phundug, Jul 01 2003

       Do you get a little remote control with it that has four buttons marked Light, Puff, Snuff, and Ash? That's cute. Croissant, but only if every time you push the "Puff" button, it recites a government warning in an grating, annoying schoolteacher voice.
phundug, Jul 01 2003

       I dont understand why you don't just leave it dangling from your lip, like a hard-bitten film noir reporter. Just swivel it off to one side as you loose a stream of invective, where it will bob crazily with every word. As punctuation you grab it with your lips, take a sharp drag and shoot the smoke out your nostrils.   

       good of you to think of the old and lazy, though. croissant.
bungston, Jul 01 2003


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