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red mist

don't get even...
  (+9, -4)
(+9, -4)
  [vote for,

Is your calmness effecting your job performance? Do others think you're a pushover because you always appear balanced and at peace?

Is your voice too level, your skin too dry, your eyes not nearly bulgy enough? Is your message getting lost because you never LOOK angry? Well relax, because Red Mist _knows_ how to make you mad.

Red Mist comes in a discreet pocket-sized can. When you need a little anger simply excuse yourself for some privacy and apply. The quick-acting surfactant contains an extreme low-dose pepper spray, high dose of caffeine, a light fragrance of stale body odour and various oils and additives to promote a clammy and generally uncomfortable demeanour. The application process is two-fold: firstly spray Red Mist into the air before you and step through, allowing the mist settling on your skin and clothes time to do its work; secondly, a discreet squirt under the tongue. Again, wait a few minutes and you're ready for action.

Now YOU’RE in control. Corporate life will never be quite the same with Red Mist!

Nontaigne, Oct 12 2004


       Useful for drill sergeants, perhaps? I need some examples of professionals that need to appear angry.   

       In any case, pepper spray and butanoic acid (the main component of body odour) under the tongue wuold have quite a different effect from the one you're expecting, I feel.
Macwarrior, Oct 12 2004

       [Mac] I was hoping for a hot mealy-mouthed response from the under the tongue approach. Back to the boardroom ready to spit superlatives and rattle cages. Pepper component would be quite mild.   

       As to professionals: definitely execs; drill sergeants for sure; football coaches are probably angry enough; bike couriers who need a little more steam when battling traffic; personal trainers (and perhaps their clients)... the list could be endless.
Nontaigne, Oct 12 2004

       Whoa there! you want to make bike couriers MORE angry?
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 12 2004

       [UnaBubba] You'll get no argument from me as to preferred approach - cool/firm is best. I have noticed though colleagues who are meek in meetings. Whilst facilitation can bring these folk out I did envisage some canned bluff-and-bluster to add steam to their strides.
Nontaigne, Oct 12 2004

       "Useful for drill sergeants, perhaps?"
They don't need the help.
contracts, Oct 12 2004

       I thought execs already had a form of this called 'coke'?
zen_tom, Oct 12 2004

       How 'bout a "blue mist" that offers the opposite effect for those irritables who get angry very easily? I know a few!   

       This could equally help people save their jobs/marriages.
Pericles, Oct 12 2004

       I like "blue mist"... would it contain: essence of St John's Wort, scent of lilac, calming lanolins for the skin?
Nontaigne, Oct 13 2004

       I was thinking this would be some sorta special effect that would engulf you in an angry fog... I wouldn't want to do this to myself, but [+] anyway.
ghillie, Mar 10 2005

       maybe turn it into one of those breath strip kinda things--- then you wont have to carry a can--- you could bring a pack to a rock concert and pass them around :)
wakeNbake, Mar 21 2006

       I'd be afraid that the people who need blue mist would go for the red mist, and the people who need red mist would go for the blue mist. Maybe these could be prescribed by doctors, or at least by co-workers.
ye_river_xiv, Jul 07 2006


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