Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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knicker twister

a device worn in the underwear for those times when we feel we wish to complain over the most stupid of things – often a hormonal imbalance will do it – yet we are too apathetic to twist our own knickers.
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possibly a clockwork mechanism – just wind ourselves up, set it in motion and off it goes. We now feel quite suitably uncomfortable and possibly even in some pain yet we feel that we have won the moral high ground and feel a complete martyr to our cause. It is quite easy to remove once the aggravation is finished, often come the dawn and sweet reason.
po, Jun 17 2002

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       //too apathetic to twist our own knickers//   

       loud guffaw. and a croissant.
runforrestrun, Jun 17 2002
  

       What about a self-panty/underwear-wadder?
polartomato, Jun 17 2002
  

       product liability comes to mind --- ouch!
quarterbaker, Jun 17 2002
  

       Where's *_uk?...
phoenix, Jun 18 2002
  

       What about wedgie whammer?
FarmerJohn, Jun 18 2002
  

       An umbrella gubber would also be good - when I am feeling uptight and pathetic, my umbrella blowing inside out can set me right off - woe betide anyone who happens to be passing!   

       <still trying to figure out how knickers can be untwisted without rudeness>
salachair, Jun 18 2002
  

       Come on knickers, let's do The Twist
Come on knickers, let's do The Twist
Gonna take my little hand and wind like this
FarmerJohn, Jun 18 2002
  

       Too apathetic? po, I submit to you that one's own knickers can _only_ be twisted by oneself.
waugsqueke, Jun 18 2002
  

       Bravo!
A black and decker cordless screwdriver with the chuck clamped to your gusset would probably do the job, and several others besides. Just flick to reverse to untwist.
Congratulations on category selection.
IvanIdea, Jun 18 2002
  
      
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