h a l f b a k e r y
Professional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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This spherical bunker would have the following
highly resistant to non-human animals
resilient to environmental damage
as invisible in the intended environment as possible
(forest wilderness version)
Able to be dropped from a helicopter, survive
intact, and soon resemble the land around it (I think a
foot thick layer of peat moss could act as an air bag and
quickly collect enough local detritus and plant life to
it blend in)
(plains wilderness and desert version)
Accessible from the top, neutrally buoyant for the local
soil, able to dig a hole for itself. (lobbing an explosive
shell and then rolling into the crater would accomplish
(mountain wilderness version)
Able to survive a drop from a helicopter and subsequent
tumble down any amount of slope. Closely resembles the
And would have the following items:
A solar-power GPS
A solid-state security system that would record any
on and call home when disturbed or opened
A phone able to call the local emergency number
A few liters of water
Two emergency ration packets
A first aid kit
It would respond to any sound approximating a human
shouting "help", a whistle of a specific frequency, or a
pulse on a specific radio band with an intermittent loud
noise and the release of a helium balloon on a string
(nonforest versions) of rising colored smoke cloud
The plan is to seed the wilderness with these devices.
Anyone facing an emergency could blow his whistle,
activate his emergency radio beacon, or travel in a
straight line sometimes shouting "help" until a salvation
station comes into view.
Here's an earlier, less ambitious approach to a different problem
[normzone, Jan 07 2014]
||Most would be tracked down by outdoorshumans and the
cache plundered before moving on to the next.
||Not true, for several reasons:
||1) I think you're confusing 'outdoorspersons' with 'thieves'.
People who go out into the wilderness to enjoy it in various
fashions typically bring what they need with them and in
normal circumstances have no need
to steal it from hard-to-find caches (anything dropped from
an aircraft is incredibly hard to find unless you see exactly
where it lands, and sometimes even then). I know this
because I am an outdoorsperson and have hung around with
them literally all of my life.
||2) The items listed are relatively low-value for the amount
of effort required to retrieve them. Thieves are lazy, and
it's much easier to steal your neighbor's television than to
search the wilds for survival gear with little to no resale
||3) survival caches are WKTE. In places frequented by hikers
and hunters (such as the Rockies, the Badlands, and the
AT) they are peppered liberally across the landscape.
Normally they are strategically placed by volunteers on
foot or ATVs, but dropping them from aircraft is a common
S&R operations. I have never heard of them being pilfered
by (human) thieves, probably for the reasons I speculated
in points 1 and 2.
||In short, WKTE (minus the complicated delivery systems)
and [rcarty] is mistaken.
||I'll damned well devote the remainder of my life to
stealing these caches just to turn your words to
||Good for you. I'm glad to help you find a purpose in life.
||I'll probably scale the effort back to zero before starting
recognizing it was a little ambitious.
||Try starting with your neighbor's television, just to get the
feel of it.
||I'll have to find one with less than 50".
||Yes, the really big ones are a swine to move ...
||Don't forget to grab the remote, too.
||... thus ensuring it's not wilderness any more ? Why not just plant a
fast-food franchise outlet in every 5km square,and equip it with
flashing neon signs ?
||The entire point of wilderness is that by and large there's no evidence
of human activity.
||//And would have the following items:....A phone
able to call the local emergency number//
||That's an excellent idea. But...
||I think plundering these caches would constitute living off the fat of the land. I envision Rcarty with a outdoorsmanlike burly leather belt, branded with sigils depicting the various caches plunders and left open to nonhuman animals, especially racoons.
||Really this would make an awesome scifi premise - the cache refuges are seeded on earth and other nearby planets by well meaning aliens hoping to help their own juveniles, who explore in UFOS as a rite of passage. Delighted humans seek out and plunder them, only to encounter a third alien race doing the same and much better at it. The third race brushes off the human dilettantes in the manner of a true hobo brushing off the slumming college student.
||Nice one, [bungs]. You're getting the dose of funny mushrooms about
right lately; inspired ideas, but not unacceptably whacky.
||Obviously not much is known about this thrid alien race,
but I'd put a decent wager on the "true hobo" as
humanity's antihero of the invasion. Obviously the
possibilities of an alien race can be far superior to those
of mankind, but the aliens are sure to find a tricky
nemisis in the hobo, the undomesticated feral
transients of horror pulp fiction. Hobos can pack quite a
wallop with their bindles, and few of them would bat an
eye or shed a tear over having to kill anything that gets
in the way of a baked beans feast by firelight. Few
things can be more fearsome than a true hobo, cornered
red handed in the vegetable garden or otherwise. If
there's supply caches ready to be prised open with
improvised tools by fingertipless gloved hands the aliens
better hope they get to them before the hobos do.