Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
No serviceable parts inside.

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rescue caches

make shelters and rescue people with them
  [vote for,

This spherical bunker would have the following attributes:

human accessible
highly resistant to non-human animals
resilient to environmental damage
as invisible in the intended environment as possible

(forest wilderness version) Able to be dropped from a helicopter, survive landing intact, and soon resemble the land around it (I think a four foot thick layer of peat moss could act as an air bag and quickly collect enough local detritus and plant life to make it blend in)

(plains wilderness and desert version) Accessible from the top, neutrally buoyant for the local soil, able to dig a hole for itself. (lobbing an explosive shell and then rolling into the crater would accomplish this)

(mountain wilderness version) Able to survive a drop from a helicopter and subsequent tumble down any amount of slope. Closely resembles the local rock.

And would have the following items:

A solar-power GPS
A solid-state security system that would record any goings- on and call home when disturbed or opened
A phone able to call the local emergency number
A few liters of water
Two emergency ration packets
A first aid kit

It would respond to any sound approximating a human shouting "help", a whistle of a specific frequency, or a pulse on a specific radio band with an intermittent loud noise and the release of a helium balloon on a string (nonforest versions) of rising colored smoke cloud (forest versions)

The plan is to seed the wilderness with these devices. Anyone facing an emergency could blow his whistle, activate his emergency radio beacon, or travel in a straight line sometimes shouting "help" until a salvation station comes into view.

Voice, Jan 07 2014

Here's an earlier, less ambitious approach to a different problem Borate_20Bouncing_20Bettys
[normzone, Jan 07 2014]


       Most would be tracked down by outdoorshumans and the cache plundered before moving on to the next.
rcarty, Jan 07 2014

       Not true, for several reasons:   

       1) I think you're confusing 'outdoorspersons' with 'thieves'. People who go out into the wilderness to enjoy it in various fashions typically bring what they need with them and in normal circumstances have no need to steal it from hard-to-find caches (anything dropped from an aircraft is incredibly hard to find unless you see exactly where it lands, and sometimes even then). I know this because I am an outdoorsperson and have hung around with them literally all of my life.   

       2) The items listed are relatively low-value for the amount of effort required to retrieve them. Thieves are lazy, and it's much easier to steal your neighbor's television than to search the wilds for survival gear with little to no resale value.   

       3) survival caches are WKTE. In places frequented by hikers and hunters (such as the Rockies, the Badlands, and the AT) they are peppered liberally across the landscape. Normally they are strategically placed by volunteers on foot or ATVs, but dropping them from aircraft is a common practice during S&R operations. I have never heard of them being pilfered by (human) thieves, probably for the reasons I speculated in points 1 and 2.   

       In short, WKTE (minus the complicated delivery systems) and [rcarty] is mistaken.
Alterother, Jan 07 2014

       I'll damned well devote the remainder of my life to stealing these caches just to turn your words to abominable lies.
rcarty, Jan 07 2014

       Good for you. I'm glad to help you find a purpose in life.
Alterother, Jan 07 2014

       I'll probably scale the effort back to zero before starting recognizing it was a little ambitious.
rcarty, Jan 07 2014

       Try starting with your neighbor's television, just to get the feel of it.
Alterother, Jan 07 2014

       I'll have to find one with less than 50".
rcarty, Jan 07 2014

       Yes, the really big ones are a swine to move ...   

       Don't forget to grab the remote, too.   

       //seed the wilderness //   

       ... thus ensuring it's not wilderness any more ? Why not just plant a fast-food franchise outlet in every 5km square,and equip it with flashing neon signs ?   

       The entire point of wilderness is that by and large there's no evidence of human activity.
8th of 7, Jan 07 2014

       //And would have the following items:....A phone able to call the local emergency number//   

       That's an excellent idea. But...
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 07 2014

       I think plundering these caches would constitute living off the fat of the land. I envision Rcarty with a outdoorsmanlike burly leather belt, branded with sigils depicting the various caches plunders and left open to nonhuman animals, especially racoons.   

       Really this would make an awesome scifi premise - the cache refuges are seeded on earth and other nearby planets by well meaning aliens hoping to help their own juveniles, who explore in UFOS as a rite of passage. Delighted humans seek out and plunder them, only to encounter a third alien race doing the same and much better at it. The third race brushes off the human dilettantes in the manner of a true hobo brushing off the slumming college student.
bungston, Jan 07 2014

       Nice one, [bungs]. You're getting the dose of funny mushrooms about right lately; inspired ideas, but not unacceptably whacky.
8th of 7, Jan 07 2014

       Obviously not much is known about this thrid alien race, but I'd put a decent wager on the "true hobo" as humanity's antihero of the invasion. Obviously the possibilities of an alien race can be far superior to those of mankind, but the aliens are sure to find a tricky nemisis in the hobo, the undomesticated feral transients of horror pulp fiction. Hobos can pack quite a wallop with their bindles, and few of them would bat an eye or shed a tear over having to kill anything that gets in the way of a baked beans feast by firelight. Few things can be more fearsome than a true hobo, cornered red handed in the vegetable garden or otherwise. If there's supply caches ready to be prised open with improvised tools by fingertipless gloved hands the aliens better hope they get to them before the hobos do.
rcarty, Jan 08 2014


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