Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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shakespeare alarm clock

why not be woken by a sonnet?
  [vote for,

Add a touch of class to your day with the shakespeare alarm clock! everyone knows he was the greatsest playwright ever known, so why not tape some of his plays and poems and so on and start your day the shakespeare way?
ninjafishcake, Jun 22 2003


       But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!
Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon.

       "Out damn clock"
po, Jun 22 2003

       "Hector, thou sleep'st;
Awake thee!"
- Troilus and Cressida, Act 4, Scene 5
FarmerJohn, Jun 22 2003

       "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day."- for civil servants.
git, Jun 22 2003

       To get up, or not to get up; that is the question...
friendlyfire, Jun 22 2003

       a sonnet should not include the word - pee. IMHO
po, Jun 22 2003

       See there! A son is born -- and we pronounce him fit to fight.
There are black-heads on his shoulders, and he pees himself in the night.
bristolz, Jun 22 2003

       JT not WS?
po, Jun 22 2003

       Yeah, well, one has to cheapen their citations when questing for the inclusion of pee.
bristolz, Jun 22 2003

       Damn. Modern english is already hard to understand! Hearing shakespeare to wake up still sounds atractive so, can I have an alarm clock spoken in the modern english version?
Pericles, Jun 22 2003

       Forsooth! What manner of nonsense be this, that common man doth understand not the tongue of Mother England?
Zanzibar, Jun 22 2003

       "And gentlemen in England now a-bed:
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,:
And hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks:
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."
Zanzibar, Jun 22 2003

       England has never been my mother. As the great^9 grandson of German immigrants, I am at best a step-child.
RayfordSteele, Jun 22 2003

       Figures of speech are difficult to add up, aren't they RF?
Zanzibar, Jun 22 2003

       Still, you could've borne it with a patient shrug if suffrance were the badge of all your tribe.
lintkeeper2, Jun 22 2003

       (thelf) By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes. - MacBeth, IV:1
(Ingly) How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat! Dead! - Hamlet, III:4
(Hit the snooze button): To sleep, perchance to dream- ay, there's the rub. - Hamlet, III:1
thumbwax, Jun 23 2003



       "To die, to sleep—
No more, and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to—’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep.
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
Must give us pause..."

       Okay, okay, I'm up already!
phoenix, Jun 23 2003

Zanzibar, Jun 23 2003

       // figures of speech are difficult to add up, aren't they, RF? //   

       No, not really. They divide well, also.
RayfordSteele, Jun 23 2003

       It could even remind you what you did last night:

Macduff: Was it so late, friend, ere you went to bed,
That you do lie so late?
Porter: Faith, sir, we were carousing till the
second cock; and drink, sir, is a great
provoker of three things.
Macduff: What three things does drink especially provoke?
Porter: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and
urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes;
it provokes the desire, but it takes
away the performance. Therefore much drink
may be said to be an equivocator with lechery;
it makes him, and it mars him; it sets
him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him,
and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and
not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him
in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.

Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3
kevindimie, Jun 23 2003

       //They divide well, also//   

       Witness the torah, bible and koran.
Zanzibar, Jun 23 2003


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