Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Faster than a stationary bullet.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



1,000,000 Years PBG

paint ball game caveman style
  (+14, -4)(+14, -4)
(+14, -4)
  [vote for,

1,000,000 Years Paint-ball Game follows the same rules as most paintball experiences, except the weapons here are all primitive cliché stone age style: ie spears, bows and arrows, stone headed axes, cudgels and animal skin shields. The participants also have to dress up as cavemen/women, again in cliché animal skin style.

As in 'regular' paint ball, two teams have to hunt each other and attack using paint ball enabled weapons. In this version there is no assistance from compressed air cartridges. The spears/arrows have to be thrown, their points having been replaced with paint balls. The cudgels/axes are also studded with paint balls.

This means that physical impacts leave the victim with large splashes of paint, plus some degree of bruising to supplement the colour and act as subsequent war wounds.

The game finishes with the now captive paint splattered losers being carried off, slung under long poles for a period of confinement in bamboo cages while a feast is enjoyed by the victorious team.

Cave painting classes and mammoth hunting (fake, but convincing) are optional extras. Roaring and grunting is compulsory.

xenzag, Oct 09 2019

One Million Years BC https://en.m.wikipe..._Million_Years_B.C.
[xenzag, Oct 09 2019]

"mammoth hunting (fake, but convincing)" https://gizmodo.com...moth-but-1833953899
Wait a few more years... [neutrinos_shadow, Oct 09 2019]

LARP https://en.wikipedi...n_role-playing_game
The over-arching concept ... [8th of 7, Oct 09 2019]

https://en.wikipedi...prus_dwarf_elephant [hippo, Oct 10 2019]

Sort of similar, but a bit later evolutionarilly speaking. Dragon
MEDIEVAL WORLD [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 10 2019]

Fur Bikini https://en.wikipedi...ini_of_Raquel_Welch
Mankind’s first bikini. Apparently [Frankx, Oct 14 2019]


       mammoth hunting (fake, but convincing) You could just get a few elephants and glue on some rugs.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 09 2019

       Might that not tend to conceal The Elephant In The Room ?   

       This is in fact pretty much baked by LARP, simply substituting prehistoric garb and weapons for the sword-and-sorcery stuff, but is nonetheless intriguing and has considerable opportunities for political incorrectness, so [+].
8th of 7, Oct 09 2019

       I always thought that paint-ballers should carry a "knife" (paintbrush) for if they needed to do an up-close, quiet kill.
Not sure about a paint-ball-covered club, though...
neutrinos_shadow, Oct 09 2019

       //The Elephant In The Room// I think there's fundamental mistake being made somewhere along the line. I mean, what set of circumstances led to the elephant being in the room? Was it coerced? Was it lured? If so, how? And was the doorway large enough to accommodate the elephant, or must we presume that a wall was demolished and then rebuilt to allow its ingress - much like the extraction of morbidly obese people from their bedrooms, but in reverse?   

       And _why_ was the elephant in the room? It's not a natural habitat for either of the current species of elephant, which suggests that someone had a motive in introducing the elephant. What could that motive be? If the aim is for everyone to ignore the elephant, why go to all the effort of enchambering one in the first place?   

       Of course, all of this assumes an intact elephant. Bits of an elephant (such as umbrella stands, piano keyboards, billiard balls, fly-swats or perhaps an upholstered footrest) require none of these elaborate analyses - yet the phrase "elephant in the room" strongly suggests an intact and (in the absence of contrary evidence or any form of refrigeration) extant elephant.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 09 2019

       Originally it was 'the effluent in the room', but then the French changed it.
xenzag, Oct 09 2019

       No shit, Sherlock ...
8th of 7, Oct 09 2019

       //...The elephant In The room//
[+] 8th
pashute, Oct 10 2019

       //...I mean, what set of circumstances led to the elephant being in the room? Was it coerced? Was it lured? If so, how? And was the doorway large enough to accommodate the elephant...// - it was probably one of these (see link). Apparently they make lovely pets.
hippo, Oct 10 2019

       //Apparently they make lovely pets.//   

       Don't tell me they make lovely pets. We bought two - a boy and a girl. The bloke in the pub said they were fully grown, and they looked soooo cute. We built them a hutch, got special water bottles and a bulk-buy sack of dry food, fenced in a part of the north-east paddock so they could run around - the full works. It's now five years later and, frankly, I'm wondering if they were dwarf elephants in the first place. The male won't let anyone into the paddock, and keeps stepping over the fence and stripping the leaves off the miniature redwoods (another bloody mistake - they're clearly not). The female goes broody every few months and mopes. We can't even let the kids ride on them, because we don't have a tall enough mounting block. The only reason they're still alive is that I can't find a use for eight umbrella stands, and I don't know how to build a piano.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 10 2019

       //I can't find a use for eight umbrella stands// - Oh, surely not! - I find that hard to believe
hippo, Oct 10 2019

       Well, one by the Main Entrance; arguably another one at the lychgate in case someone has walked out of the Main Entrance and only then realised that it's raining; one in the servants' entrance; one in the servants' servants' entrance; one by the back door; one more by the gamekeepers' door; possibly one at the door of the luthiers' apartments... and then I've got one over, and I do hate clutter.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 10 2019

       Unfortunately [MB]'s Great-Uncle Strabismius - like many of the family - was prone to monomania. Having slaughtered huge numbers of big game animals, he proceeded to set up a massive taxidermy operation to preserve and repurpose his trophies, hence the place is full to the rafters (literally, in the case of the matched sets of giraffe hatstands) with eveey possible permutation you can envisage. In places the rugs are piled so deep that getting along the corridors is akin to potholing.   

       Sadly, as he became elderly and even more deranged, his mania extended to creatures he hadn't killed but wished he had. The triceratops coathook is impressive, but unconvincing, and the blue whale bootscraper, though functional, is inconveniently placed for visitors.   

       There are plenty of places to hang or place umbrellas; not just elephant, rhino and hippo umbrella-stands, but all sorts of other bizatre receptacles.   

       An to be honest the "Wall 'O Panda Heads" is not only in poor taste, but a bit creepy ...
8th of 7, Oct 10 2019

       Yes, but the animated one that sings Monty Python's 'I Like Chinese' was a masterpiece.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 10 2019

       // effluent in the room // [+]
Tulaine, Oct 10 2019

       What I don't get is how the presence of refrigeration allows the elephant to be in the room without existing.   

       The other thing I don't get is this idea. *reads it again* Never mind; I get it now.
notexactly, Oct 10 2019

       //"Wall 'O Panda Heads" is not only in poor taste, but a bit creepy// but not in as poor a taste as my Kim Kardashian's bum foot-rest. (part of my "famous people's parts furniture range")
xenzag, Oct 10 2019

       Personally I prefer her over her brother Jong Un.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 10 2019

       The thought of those two together in a romantic sense is a very, very ugly and disturbing image ...
8th of 7, Oct 10 2019

       They would both be so perplexed as to why they're in the same room as each other, that they might both shut up, ignore the rest of the world while they ponder, and let the rest of us get on with life.
neutrinos_shadow, Oct 11 2019

       [+] Capture the Monolith?
wjt, Oct 12 2019

       Yes..... or join forces to quell the dinosaur. (see one million years bc)
xenzag, Oct 12 2019

       I forgot include 'blowpipes' in the list of weapons available to our cavemen/women.
xenzag, Oct 12 2019

       // The thought of those two together in a romantic sense is a very, very ugly and disturbing image ... //   

       Because incest?
notexactly, Dec 09 2019

       No, familiarity with the Buchanan family rapidly blunts the sensitivities to such things.
8th of 7, Dec 09 2019

       Instead of using paintballs, why not just make the weapons Nerf-like and use spongy materials that can hold a dye or ink or paint? Is this post against the spirit of the thread? Modifying someone else's idea right in the middle of spirited hijinks?
Size_Mick, Dec 11 2019

       Instead of using the //spongy materials that can hold a dye or ink or paint// to make weapons, use them to make body-suits. That way the combatants can hit each other with actual clubs or stones; the spongy body suits will cushion the blows and will release splashes of dye or paint.
pocmloc, Dec 11 2019

       hahaha, I missed this gem. Good one, xenie.
blissmiss, Dec 11 2019

       //spongy materials that can hold a dye or ink or paint// t   

       That is exactly what happens in LARP.   

       // use them to make body-suits. //   

       Too hot. LARP requires the same amount of energy expenditure as real combat. The very best fighters can only sustain 8 to 10 minutes of swordplay before a mixture of overheating and exhaustion stops them. It's not just legs like a marathon runner; the whole musculature is involved. Layers of foam, even thin ones, severely impact cooling.   

       It's always a tradeoff between protection (armour, shield) and weaponry (bigger sword gives longer reach but is heavier).
8th of 7, Dec 11 2019


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle