Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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21 Fart Salute

extra special celebration
(+3, -3)
  [vote for,

The 21 gun salute is the traditional way of celebrating special events, particularly those of kings, queens and presidents on completion of their time in power.

Of course some don't really merit gun salutes, and for this particular type there is now a new salute - The 21 Fart Salute.

Quite a lot of careful selection and preparation is required, but on the day, and on the hour, the 21 chosen ones will dutifully line up and produce a series of timed and massively elongated farts. These will be amplified to such a degree that not even the spinning rotors of a waiting helicopter can drown them out, as they joyfully celebrate the final departure of the Unchosen one

xenzag, Jan 18 2021

The amplifiers being paraded into position https://sodabred.tu...aked-idea-called-21
[xenzag, Jan 18 2021]

Search surname: Ung https://www.dst.dk/...alg/navne/HvorMange
There were appropriately 21 people in Denmark with the surname Ung in 2020 [pocmloc, Jan 18 2021]

Gnu Song https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_cC_Ngx_iV8
[xenzag, Jan 19 2021]

Musical Leaders Musical_20Leaders
Shameless elf-promotion [8th of 7, Jan 19 2021]

Start eating those cabbages.... he wants the 21 gnus salute! https://edition.cnn...ory-trnd/index.html
[xenzag, Jan 19 2021]

Harry S. Truman quote https://www.goodrea...-was-either-to-be-a
[Voice, Jan 21 2021]


       Wildebeeste, being ruminants, produce profuse quantities of digestive gases - maybe you could arrange a "21 Gnu Salute" ?
8th of 7, Jan 18 2021

Voice, Jan 18 2021

       //"21 Gnu Salute"// Fully approve of this variation.
xenzag, Jan 18 2021

       Something just doesn't smell right. Not sure why...
blissmiss, Jan 18 2021

       It's the alternative smell of victory.
xenzag, Jan 18 2021


       Well, it's certainly not "that gasoline smell" ... organic, yes, hydrocarbons, maybe ... more skatoles, actually.   


       If you could gather together teams from the student associations of over twenty U.S. Universities, and got them to blow raspberries in sequence, would that be a "21 Frat Salute" ?
8th of 7, Jan 18 2021

       It's fake gnus.   

       Given the amount of flammable gas being produced, it would also be a shame not to spark off an explosive light show at the same time.
xenzag, Jan 18 2021

       If it was the Frat members doing the bending over thing, including the gas ignition, could you call it a Moon Shot ?   

       // It's fake gnus. //   

       <Collective applause/>
8th of 7, Jan 18 2021

       Meant to say "a shame not to".... Fixed
xenzag, Jan 18 2021

       "21 Gnu Salute"   

       That's the end of the Gnus, and now for the Sports....
AusCan531, Jan 19 2021

       I gnu you would say that.
Voice, Jan 19 2021

       Because of the use of the word 'trump' to mean 'fart' in UK English, I assumed this would be an idea for a salute for someone specific...
hippo, Jan 19 2021

pocmloc, Jan 19 2021

       //'trump' to mean 'fart' in UK English,//   

       I spent my first year in the US wondering why people weren't laughing at things all the time. I saw Trump Tower, I'm standing there confused as to why no-one was laughing at what was essentially a big gold fart box. My local sandwich store has a waste bin with "Toss Here" written on it. In English English, that's a location-specific instruction to masturbate, anyone? Come on, that's funny! Over the road "Dickie's All-American Pants Store (sadly gone now)" It's written on a big sign in the street! Really? Driving past BJ's (hur hur hur!) there was a sign on a high school "This Sunday, the Annual Father Son Touchdown Competition!" Surely that's not appropriate!
bs0u0155, Jan 19 2021

       When I lived there I liked how "Randy" was a perfectly OK man's name. An American friend, who was familiar with UK English, successfully got "BOLLOX" for his car licence plate which was pretty funny.
hippo, Jan 19 2021

       // wondering why people weren't laughing at things all the time //   

       Because the English consider it bad form to laugh openly at the sad peculiarities of foreigners ? Smirking and the occasional quiet chuckle is considered perfectly adequate. Mocking the afflicted, at least in public, is not normally done (unless the example is exceptionally egregious).
8th of 7, Jan 19 2021

       //I liked how "Randy" was a perfectly OK man's name.//   

       Heh, Randy is my name.
The Ausies can always be relied on to get a chuckle out of it when I'm introduced.

       //Heh, Randy is my name.// - you mean "I'm Randy" :-)
hippo, Jan 19 2021

       We thought he was Spartacus ? He said he was Spartacus ...
8th of 7, Jan 19 2021

       I'm anyone except Spartacus! oh and Trump - I'm never Trump either. I don't mind being a lot of people, but Spartacus is already taken and no one wants to be Trump - ever.
xenzag, Jan 19 2021

       And presumably Trump would like to be Putin ... game of Musical Leaders, anyone ?   

       Actually ...   


8th of 7, Jan 19 2021

       You're putin me on.
Voice, Jan 19 2021

       Haha ... no, nailing you to a crucifix, actually (if you are, as you claim, Spartacus).
8th of 7, Jan 19 2021

       Don' put me up there, I'll get my buddies. You're trumpling on thin ice. My friends will be biden their time.
Voice, Jan 19 2021

       If "trumpling" isn't an officially recognised verb, it really should be.
8th of 7, Jan 19 2021

       My idea has been read by "himself" and he wants it now! [cnn link]
xenzag, Jan 19 2021

       // My idea has been read by "himself" //   

       Quick, edit in some stuff about the benefits of ingesting halogen-based biocides ...
8th of 7, Jan 19 2021

       // Something just doesn't smell right //   

       Indeed. [xenie], where have you bean?
whatrock, Jan 20 2021

       I've always wanted to travel to Australia. I'm not sure how well it would go over though. I can picture the scene at the pub... <fades to wavy lines as daydream begins>   

       "Hi, I'm Randy.
"Are you now? Why d'ya think I'd want to know that then mate? Maybe everybody should know! OY You lot! This little cunt wants me to know how randy he is! Anyone volunteer to help'm out?"

       <shakes head and snaps out of it>   

       Maybe I'll go by my legal name if I visit...   

       In an alternative sort of drinking establishment, the outcome could be quite different, and in many ways worse ... such as "Ooooh, 'ark at 'im, dearies ... well, you couldn't afford me, darling ... but if you're desperate ...."   

       Do you know how to squeal like a pig, by the way ? Asking for a friend ...
8th of 7, Jan 20 2021

       Nope. Can't play the banjo either.   

       Have you ever tried
pocmloc, Jan 20 2021

       No, I'm not a lawyer either.   

       <Surreal mental image of two lawyers contesting court case though medium of dueling banjos/>
8th of 7, Jan 20 2021

       Good image. A prolonged Hillbilly style feud would settle matter for once and for all, and as they've already got all the guns in the world let's sell them a few billion rounds of ammunition and let them get on with it.
xenzag, Jan 20 2021

       <Counsel for the Prosecution>   

       "Dang-a-DANG- dang-dang-dang-dang dang dang ..."   

       </Counsel for the Prosecution>
8th of 7, Jan 20 2021

       If you haven't tried, how do you know you're not the next undiscovered banjo virtuoso?
pocmloc, Jan 20 2021

       If it's anything like a guitar then I'm pretty sure I suck at it. Short stubby fingers better suited holding a hammer and chisel or pencil than a musical instrument.   

       Maybe the harmonica, or kazoo...   

       You see, its that kind of defeatest attitude that means that music-lovers will never get a chance to be blessed* with your sell out* solo banjo tour of the world's major opera houses* and stadiums.*   

       *not guaranteed
pocmloc, Jan 20 2021

       Look out Steve Martin. Coming through.   

       // Maybe the harmonica, or kazoo... //   

       Do either of those sound like a pig squealing ? Your new bestest friend Bubba wants to know ...
8th of 7, Jan 20 2021

       Also, the best artists challenge boundaries and shock their audiences. Don't be held back by conservative preconceptions of how a banjo is meant to sound. Create your own genre of pig-squealing banjo DIY hammer noise.
pocmloc, Jan 20 2021

       // preconceptions of how a banjo is meant to sound //   

       They are meant to sound the same as bagpipes; a soft, pleasant cracking, popping sound as the flames reduce them to unrecognizable ashes.
8th of 7, Jan 20 2021

       Ooh, law as encoded and presented by musical performance art... could be interesting.   

       "The walker may get to where he wants to go He may lose his stride on the way In boots made of leather Although well put together I don't believe a word he has to say   

       If your pockets are empty If the Wheel of Fortune lets you down You gotta hang loose Get ready for the Wheel to turn around"   

       "Your honor, I object! Council is badgering the witness!"   

       "Papapapapa ooomm mow mow..."
RayfordSteele, Jan 20 2021

       // law as encoded and presented by musical performance art //   

       It could bring a whole new level of meaning to the well-known phrase "Playing the piano in a whorehouse ... "
8th of 7, Jan 20 2021

       I'm seeing extra royalties for Leonard Cohen ("There's a law, there's an arm, there's a hand") and many blues singers (variations on "My baby gone done me wrong").
pertinax, Jan 21 2021

       "I played the law, and the law won" ?
8th of 7, Jan 21 2021

       "I made coleslaw, and the 'slaw won"
hippo, Jan 21 2021

       Old King Coleslaw?
xenzag, Jan 21 2021

       Sour bloke, past his sell-by date ...
8th of 7, Jan 21 2021

       And we're back 'round; perfect descriptor of the last two words of [xen]'s idea.   

       Did He get His coveted 21 Farts, by the way? Traumatically televised and overplayed on the radio, but as a proud resident of Canuckistan, I ignored the hoopla on general principle (fed up of 4 years' sleeping next to the erratic Elephant that is the Untied States of Asshat).
Sgt Teacup, Jan 21 2021


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