Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Agaraphobe Restaurant

Eat without contact with strangers
  [vote for,

Park, find an enclosed nook of the right size for your group, order, pay, be served, eat and leave, all without human contact. Why? Because sometimes people can't face crawling out of their hole if they have to contemplate dealing with people. But the kids still have to be fed.

Probably a good place to put literature on human services.

dhill, Aug 08 2005

Holy cow. For everything that exists in the world, there must be someone with an irrational fear of it. http://www.angelfir...ix1/phobialist.html
There's even a fear of not being in fearful situations. How messed up can one person get? Don't see [half]ophobia on the list, but there's someone out there... [half, Aug 08 2005]

silent restaurant on the HB Restaurant_204_2733
[dentworth, Aug 09 2005]


       OK, you've successfully explained why - now what about the how?   

       Plus, isn't this achievable (i.e. feeding the kids) via home delivery?
zen_tom, Aug 08 2005

       Sorry, I thought the how was pretty straightforward. Web-based reservations, metered parking slots, cubicles with credit card access doors, order from a screen, receive food through a small compartment with two access doors, only one of which can be open at once.   

       The social motivation and consequences seem more significant than the technical impementation, but this is my first suggestion, so maybe I don't quite have a sense for the format yet.   

       You're probably right about home delivery. Living in a rural area, I don't tend to think of businesses being willing to drive an hour to deliver dinner to me, but that may be a better solution for most people.
dhill, Aug 08 2005

       Welcome to the bakery - and the idea is interesting - at least to me in terms of going out to dinner without seeing anyone - it's kind of surreal. Do we still get themed decor/food i.e. Texan, Mongolian, Indian, Chinese, Italian, Japanese etc?
zen_tom, Aug 08 2005

       Agaraphobia - Fear of anyone not named Gary?   

       Agyrophobia - Fear of streets or crossing the street? Nah, seems like an even worse business model for a restaurant.   

       Agraphobia - Fear of sexual abuse? Well, I suppose that could be addressed by this as a side effect.   

       Agrizoophobia - Fear of wild animals? Nope, sounds like you're taking the kids with you.   

       Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets? Fear of leaving a safe place? Ah, I think we have a winner.   

half, Aug 08 2005

       Is there a word for fear of misspelling in public?
dhill, Aug 08 2005

       Heh. If there's not a word for that phobia, there should be. If you don't have that phobia, stay around here long enough and you'll acquire it.
half, Aug 08 2005

       // themed decor // Cave, duck blind, bank vault, castle?
dhill, Aug 08 2005

       Ha! - You could simultaneously open the Claustrophobe Restaurant where the patrons and a picnic hamper are catapulted into the countryside, and corner both ends of the market.
zen_tom, Aug 08 2005

       Sigmund's Eat'n'Shrink -- Dining and Counseling the Way You Need It.
dhill, Aug 08 2005

       (Eat'n'Shrink) That would be both ends of an expanding market.
reensure, Aug 08 2005

       Heh. I read the subtitle and realized the word must be agora_, then noticed ‘Restaurant’ and thought of the Angora Café – Boston. Coincidentally, they don’t serve goat, rabbit, or cat.
Shz, Aug 08 2005

       Lester had just logged off from booking his reservation at L'Agoraphobique when the doorbell rang. Cautiously, he approached his front door and peered through the peep-hole. There was nobody there. Shaking his head, he began to walk away when he noticed a piece of paper had been slipped under the door. It was a brochure from the restaurant with a list of instructions that read as follows:
1. Open your door and pick up the canvas bag(s).
2. Place each member of your dinner party, including yourself, inside their own bag and close the drawstring.
3. Call out "I'm ready for my dining experience" in a loud voice.
4. Wait for our staff to gently place you and your companions in our transport vehicle lined with the finest Corinthian leather, luxuriously padded for your comfort.
5. After a short ride you will be released into your dining environment. At this time you may remove your canvas bag. You will then be able to choose your meal from our touch-screen menus, which have been sanitized for your protection.
6. Our five-star chefs will expertly prepare your meal which will be delivered to your table through the access panel on the wall marked: "Access Panel" once you have swiped your credit card.
7. After you have eaten, please push the button marked "Goodbye" and have your party re-enter their canvas bags. When you have closed your drawstring and are ready to leave please call out in a loud voice "I am ready to go home now", whereupon our staff will gently whisk you away home. Please bear in mind that any and all tips are shared equally by all our staff.

       aside<This, of course, explains the old expression "half in the bag">aside
Canuck, Aug 08 2005

       Perfect. And I'm beginning to think that a restaurant where the customers never talk to the staff could have a certain appeal to jaded restauranteurs. Now if the wait staff didn't have to deal with the cooks . . .
dhill, Aug 08 2005

       While a restaurant for agoraphobes may be useful for that population, I'll bet it would do a lot of business with people who are ashamed or dismayed by their appearance, depressed, wanted by the law, having secret assignations, conducting job interviews where neither party wants their company to know, or just didn't feel like getting dressed today. Or combinations thereof.
dhill, Aug 09 2005


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