Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Chapel of Restaurant

The true embodiment of Haute Cuisine
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The ending of a life is not always a cause for sadness. Perhaps the person has passed away peacefully at the end of a very long and productive life; perhaps their demise has freed them from chronic pain; maybe they are a much-disliked boss who's demise was marked by whoops of joy from his employees, or perhaps she was just a red-taloned cold selfish grasping bitch of an ex-wife who deserved to die slowly and in great pain, having torn someone's heart out, chewed it, spat in in the gutter and then ground the shreds under her four-inch red stiletto heel while laughing in derision. Failing that, the most likely cause of death would be suffocating in her own venom, to a rousing chorus of "Ding, dong, the witch is dead..."

But, whatever, sometimes a death is marked by a celebration, and this is common in a number of cultures - the Irish tradition of a Wake being but one, where the coffin - sometimes open- would be on display.

Organizing a wake can be problematic, as if the person has a lot of friends (unlike certain bloodsucking harridans, whose only interest in other people is to see if she can stick her fangs in their neck and drain all their blood in one gulp) then they may not fit in an average house, and there's the catering, too.

So, why not book in at one of the new BorgCo franchised Chapel of Restaurants ? In dignified surroundings, enjoy the very best of food and drink, in the presence of the former Loved One (or unloved one, in the case of anyone known as "Executive Vice President"), or indeed, use the actual coffin lid as the table (or bar) top, depending on the decedent's proclivities when alive.

At some larger outlets, the meal can be combined with a suitable service of whatever denomination required, as as the coffee and mints are served, one can watch the dearly departed actually depart through the serving hatch into the crematorium oven.

All major credit cards accepted. Franchises now available in all areas.

(And yes, the Grill Room is exactly what you think it is. Don't go there).

8th of 7, Oct 18 2009

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