Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Feedback Fork

Cutlery for Communication
 
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Maybe it's coincidence, maybe it's a ruse by substandard kitchens to ensure they avoid adverse feedback, or maybe it's just a game to amuse bored waiting staff.

Whatever it is, I always find that a polite young waitress/waiter will come over to my table and enquire as to the quality of their cuisine just at the exact moment that I put a shovel-sized portion of food into my mouth.

The result is a mish mash of guess work, shrugs, semaphore, frantic chewing and general embarrassment as I try to articulate my views on the meal.

Ever been in the same situation? Well, fear no more. What you need is the feedback fork (and spoon, and knife). Press the button on your fork and a small speaker at it's base will exclaim "Why, this food is excellent... compliments to the chef!"

The button on the knife would be less enthused. "My steak is too tough. That's why I'm still chewing rather than talking to you." A button on the spoon would explain to the enquiring server that you needed to talk to them, as soon as you've finished your mouthful.

Fishrat, Dec 13 2003

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       How about a large feedback spoon with a cover, into which one quickly (and temporarily?) empties one's mouth? +
FarmerJohn, Dec 13 2003
  

       I find that stabbing a steak knife into the servers upper thigh sends a very clear message. Just don't leave the tip.   

       //and temporarily?// Bleurk!
Fishrat, Dec 13 2003
  

       I'd prefer figure-skating-judge-style flippy number cards on the edge of the table. Saves them the trip over... they just glance and see that Fishrat table is giving the meal a 5.7.
waugsqueke, Dec 13 2003
  

       I always use the venerable thumbs up/thumbs down technique. Then hold up a finger to let the waiter/waitress I need to elaborate ... the quality of food is directly proportional to the the finger choice in signal
Letsbuildafort, Dec 13 2003
  

       I presume you would use these at bring your own silverware establishments.
Eugene, Dec 13 2003
  

       [letsbuildafort] Depending upon which finger you hold up, that could count as elaboration in itself.
Fishrat, Dec 15 2003
  
      
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